momentarily mentally sound
im not quite sure why. maybe its that im in alton. maybe its that ive removed myself from the judgmental unwinnable homo game. maybe it's that im starting to feel like me again and not just brian the amazing surgery boy. but im nice and calm. i dont have a boy, and in all honesty i dont really have any prospects, but for some reason i dont mind. i am positive and realize i have a nice sunny road ahead of me. i have wonderful friends that make me feel protected, like i have a "crew". and when you've got that very few people can intimidate u. school is going very well, and moneys holding out. i talked to courtney for quite a while last night telling her all about school, which is widely revolving around future goals, and informed her of how serious i am about opening a boutique in 2008. i told her about a classmate who writes grant proposals for a living and told her all about the small business grant situation. she became excited and didnt realize how that worked in the past. long story not quite as long, we have decided to be business partners. if all works out as planned, sometime late next year courtney and i will open a cute little high endish fashion boutique on the delmar loop. worst case scenario, we run it into the ground in a year and have to find new jobs. best case scenario, and so help me god this will be the one, we are a success and independantly wealthy at the age of 25. maybe all this happiness and positivity is because i just had waffles and syrup is pretty much straight sugar. but in the past i would have felt guilty about that sugar and been in a puddle of tears, or vomit. not so much now. i know that i had waffles because my dads food is free, and i was hungry. plus im not doing anything that requires me to be a size 2 anytime soon, and even if i wanted to be, im still swollen. so i guess todays moral is that sugar=happy. so that hershey smile campaign may be scientifically justified.