(no subject)
i've came to realize that i'm a horrible selfish person. i tend to put myself before others in really shitty situations, and apparently i've lost my closest friends because of it.
i honestly don't know what else i could have done that night. i had to talk to alot of cops. i did try to stay out of the situation and told the cops the truth. "i stayed inside trying to keep the dog from getting out the whole time." i'm not the kind of person to jump in the middle of a fight. the cop asked me if i had been drinking and i told him yes, a little bit. they asked me for names and i told them i didn't know last names. there's nothing else i could have done.
i honestly don't even think i should be beating myself up over this.
so i'm not going to.
i'm moving on with my life.
we find out on monday or tuesday if we get the apartment (cross your fingers!)
i should be graduating in may if not i'll be done in june, i'm really excited and i know once it's all over i'll be a relieved.
i just printed out an application at crooked creek ranch to do work crew for young life.
i haven't talked to tiff (my young life leader) about it because she's never available so i'm doing it on my own. i think it'd be a really great experience for me to be servicing others. it'll give me lots of time to think about what exactly where i'm going in life, or what exactly i want to do. it's beautiful up there and i really hope it works out. there's 52 spots available. i'm applying for july 12th through aug.3rd.
i'll be working for my dad after school to help him pay for the apartment if we get it. i really love my dad and really appreciate how he's helping me out. i felt bad, i cried to him last night before laura came over. laura and i went to HEB and i bought tortelini and some really good sauce. we came back to my house, made it. i smoked and we ate it while watching the mummy. man that movie tripped me out. i hadn't seen it in years!
i think i have a phobia of bugs that can latch onto your skin or get into your body. at night i always think that there are bugs crawling in my ears (my ears are clean) and i freak out. i always get scared that mister boo leaves ticks on my bed and i have nightmares about them. and the mummy with those crazy bugs that go into your skin and ahsdfkashjdfkljdasf i don't even know it creeps me out thinking about it. they scare me.
my art piece got a metal in the competition. it just means they liked it but that's good enough for me! i've never gotten anything out of any kind of competition and i was really scared or getting disappointed again. i'm really glad i entered.
i know claire tagged me but i really don't know what to say other then the fact that i'm pretty wierd . . . .