shit...
if i hijack a car, drive to portland and finish off the year with alex, how much trouble will i be in?
life is hard. not as hard as it could be, that's why i go on. i'm not at rock bottom. far from it, but once you dabble your feet in the well of depression. you cannot leave. i'm treading water high on the surface. but that's bad enough.
why, why can i not be happy? good things happen to me. why can't i be happy out it? by all means i should be fucking happy as hell. yet some integral part of my personality and subconscious mind forces me to take the martyr's route in life. forces me to always assume the lowest possible position in anything. i have no confidence whatsoever. i can't not assume blame for every bad things that occurs near me. my rare happiness is tainted by a life of doubting and hating myself.
i'm stuck i'm lost. though i'm in love, i walk this road alone.
life is hard. not as hard as it could be, that's why i go on. i'm not at rock bottom. far from it, but once you dabble your feet in the well of depression. you cannot leave. i'm treading water high on the surface. but that's bad enough.
why, why can i not be happy? good things happen to me. why can't i be happy out it? by all means i should be fucking happy as hell. yet some integral part of my personality and subconscious mind forces me to take the martyr's route in life. forces me to always assume the lowest possible position in anything. i have no confidence whatsoever. i can't not assume blame for every bad things that occurs near me. my rare happiness is tainted by a life of doubting and hating myself.
i'm stuck i'm lost. though i'm in love, i walk this road alone.