(no subject)
o my god i am so emotionally exhausted. i have been on emotional rollercoaster for the past few weeks...and few days in particular. on saturday i made up my mind that I would get back together with megan, and today i saw her for the first time in awhile (okay a few days). She seemed very emotionally distant, cold, sad...can't put my finger on it. but goddamn do i miss that girl. there is so much i wish i could give her, my heart, my soul. life aint about lookin back its about lookin forward, do i have the courage and determination to follow my heart and give myself a chance? i have been reading a lot of self help books...if you can believe it you can achieve it...so can i believe it? miss that girl!!!!! do i have the courage to put myself out there and risk getting rejected (again...haha) life is short aint promised tomorrow, i just don't know how to go about it. straight up half of me is sayin just go up to her and ask her on a date/to dinner...the other half says to write an email. we chit chat and get along fine, usually she puts some effort in but today was COLD...i have nothin but faith in myself and faith in god. so many times i have told myself to let her go...and i have honestly made the attempt in my heart, but it always comes back to the fact that i feel like i haven't given myself a chance. I am so far beyond any person i have ever met it is amazing to me, but i also need to show her this side of me and that I am a changed man. life is about taking risks and following the path less taken...it's too short, no such thing as tomorrow. have plenty of faith, wisdom, and gave it some time. Now i am going to grab life by the horns and really go for what i want, we'll see what happens. I can take failure, i can't take not trying.
-Joaquin
-Joaquin