LJ Idol Topic: Bearing False Witness

Nov 21, 2009 15:25

Harlan Ellison once said " The minute people fall in love, they become liars."
he says "its fine" when we both know its not. The endless fights and insults merely become habit forming and despite my best efforts always seem to come back. We both lie and say it doesn't matter. We try to get past the anger we both seem to harbor at each other. Somehow we never make it very far. So we lie. We lie to keep it together because I can't live without him. We lie to each other and everyone around us, of course its getting better we tell people. We are figuring it out day by day I tell my friends. After all marriage isn't supposed to be easy right? The lie becomes the fantasy, the rainbow we try to get and others think we live. We become the couple that was never supposed to make it and somehow did but the truth never surfaces. That we are still unhappy, we have just managed to hide it better. We lie to keep the family together because it doesn't seem fair to make two kids live a life with divorced parents when we can keep the anger and tension under the surface. The doubts surface though in moments when I am not sure if I am making the right decision or if I really love him enough to put up with one more day of this but somehow I quiet them with the false promises that tomorrow we will be better. Tomorrow we will figure out how to live with it and we will fall back in love and be magically happy. I just have to wait until tomorrow.
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