Aug 16, 2007 01:13
i can only pretend for so long that these things havnt been bothering me but they have.
one; i've been dealing with this for long now. you guys never seem to want to be with me or want me there if i am there. you'll walk in twos and i'd walk by myself. i feel left out. you guys go places together and dont invite me, then try to blame it on me like it was my fault. there is a thing called a phone you know. if you do invite, it's out of pitty. you feel bad but say it's my fault it's become like this because i've changed. i feel like im being pushed away, or being replaced with empty space. if i've changed, tell me. you even said that it's hard for someone to change in a matter of 3 weeks once, and it's true and i didnt change in those three weeks, and im not growing up to fast, and i dont do the things you guys think i do, even though i've told you so many times, you still dont believe me. it's like whatever i say goes through one ear and out the other. im sick of it. i've tried to help the situation but i've found that m.e doing something doesn't help at all! i want things to be better, i really do, but do you guys?
two; this has been bugging me for a while. you take advantage of everything anyone does for you. you treat people like they belong to you, tell them what to do, where to go, call them all the time to say what YOUR problems are but never ask what our problems are. you over-react. you exagerate things and blow them way out of proportion. you think that everyone has to like you, and if they don't they're considered a bitch or a bad person. not everyone in the world has to know who you are, or like you. in conclusion, you're very needy.
three; who the hell are you now? you don't even talk to me. i know we havn't been the same for a long time, but we tried to look past the problems and just move on. that didn't work out so well, we kept getting into fights and arguments. i'll admit i didnt treat you very well at the starting of the summer. but i had my reasons. you never treated me well either. hey lets hangout, no. okay.. now it's like we're strangers. i'll call you dont pick up. i'll text you dont answer. i'll message you on msn you ignor it and dont answer. i dont know why. maybe you've dropped me and moved onto someone else. but seriously, what the hell. you have no idea how much this angers me. i've given up on you though. i've stopped trying. i dont understand why i tried in the first place when i knew exacly this would happen. it used to happen all the time. we get into an argument, im the first one to appologize. but this time we didnt get into an argument, you stopped talking to me. for what? for better friends you say you have? that use you and take advantage of you? they dont know half the stuff i know that you tell me. told me.. you really messed up.
four; i like you. i know i do, but why do i keep my distance from you? maybe it's because i dont want to get to attached to someone that's going away in a few weeks for school. i dont want to get attached and then let you go. you're going to meet so many girls and have so much fun, then come back and realize what a waste of time i am/was. when im with you, im myself. you make me feel good about myself, and make me happy. kskdnfksdn this is so hard... i dont want you to leave.