Writer's Block: What’s on your mind?
How amazing the final show this evening was.
Seriously, guys. It was... wow. Because, right, we went to the YMCA in Barnsley weren't going to be able to come for whatever reason. This was fine. They were playing extras, and we had other extras, we could fill those parts.
But, we then discovered, about an hour before we had to go on, that our dame wasn't coming. A dame, for those not in the know, is a female character played by a man. This character is normally one of the main characters in the ensemble, and not having one is a major problem.
Fuck, thought we. What can we do? We had two casts for this show, and we thought that the kid's cast dame, who was also one of the directors, might be able to do it. She arrives a bit afterwards, asks us all to go upstairs, and says she's just had a 10-hour incredibly stressful shift at work and there's no way she'd be able to do it. She's looking at us, very close to tears, and she asks whether it's worth us putting the show on.
Double fuck, thought we. Or at least, thought I. My father was coming to see the show after all, and we were sort of geared up and ready to roll. I personally did not want to have to leave without having put on a show. However, obviously we were hardly going to put the poor director through that sort of hell just for the sake of the show, and some of us said as much. She left us for a bit to get some food, and we started talking.
Somebody (I can't remember who) then had the ingenious idea of calling our Resident Dame, who shall henceforth be known as RD.
Let me tell you a bit (or rather, what I know, which isn't much compared to other people) about RD. He was president of USLES last year, and he's now doing something or other to do with chemistry at Oxford somewhere. While he was at Sheffield he spent enough time on stage in a dress or some other form of feminine clothing to make even the most well-practised of Japanese stand-up comedians think "this bloke is overdoing it". He was the Resident Dame of USLES, also known as President for Life.... but mainly as the Resident Dame.
Anyway, RD happened to be coming to see our show, and when somebody suggested we ring him up, many hands went to phones and much clever calling happened, before finally getting in contact with him via USLES' Founding Father (henceforth known as FF). According to RD's girlfriend, the phone was handed to RD, and what next happened was RD's face lighting up with joy at the thought that he was being asked to strap on the old bra and bird-seed breast ensemble once more. Meanwhile back in the dressing room, several of us were sitting there saying "If he says no, we'll be really, really surprised". The only thing that surprised us (well, me) was that, upon his arrival, he didn't say "I knew I'd be needing these before too long!" and pull out an emergency back-up set of breasts.
So, now we had a dame, we had to fill him in on what he needed to do. We handed him a legible script (a phenomenon far rarer in this show than it ought to have been) and told him some of the quirks he needed to bear in mind. He nodded busily at these instructions, simultaneously reading through his script and putting Rarity (a good friend of mine, who deserves a resident Pony name)'s bra on.
Meanwhile, Fluttershy was running around, making sure people were fed and watered, giving them instructions... assuming a director/stagehand-type role, basically. And she was brilliant. She also had to play a few parts, and she did those well and with aplomb.
So the show started, and we had an audience of (someone counted) 12 people, most of whom were old hands from other Light Entertainment Societies. Small audiences are not really ideal, because you want there to be a sort of group camaraderie when you're pretending not to notice stuff happening backstage and you need them to shout out "It's behind you!" etc. I was a bit worried.
As it turned out, I need not have been. The audience were, in a word, brilliant. With FF leading them (at least it felt like he was), they laughed at every appropriate line, shouted the right things at the right times, and were generally amazing. Performing for them was an absolute treat and I would happily do it again.
RD, meanwhile, with only half an hour to practise before the show, had most of his lines learned. He'd learned them better, in fact, than the bloke we had playing the dame previously. There's one point in the show where he throws a toy towards one of the exits, and I have to chase after it. The other bloke threw it the wrong way both other times, so I had to improv, pick up the toy, and throw it up and down while walking off stage saying "shiny! shiny! shiny! shiny!" RD, however, threw it precisely where it needed to go. He was hilarious and brilliant, and what more can I say about him? I shouldn't say anything else, really, because he's got the sort of ego that stroking doesn't lend itself well to.
I found myself messing up at a few points during the show. The biggest mess-up was when I started a scene, and I got up, walked on stage and started delivering my lines before the stage hand had finished changing the set. My way of making up for this was to say "Oh! I'm sorry Miss Stage Manager! I was just so eager to tell this lovely audience about how much I'd eaten, I forgot to wait until you were done! Please excuse me!" and carry on. Perhaps I wouldn't have dared to do something like that in the other shows, but the more casual atmosphere of this show made it possible, I think, and it was actually really great. That sort of interaction is fun, and something about controlling that sort of situation, yet not quite knowing if you can control it, is exhilarating.
When the show was over, and we'd handed out prizes, I felt really proud of what we'd done that evening. RD was amazing, but I think we all had to make adjustments and work to keep the show together. Madam Director was really pleased with us, I think, and even though I hadn't really had much to do with anybody except myself, I was really proud of all of us. Poor Rarity was feeling quite ill, and she was having to perform braless and her rack is of the sort of calibre that I'd be both proud and thrilled to hang my towels on, so that couldn't have been comfortable for her. But she was still amazing. The girl playing Dick Whittington was incredible with her flailing, to the extent where the mayor laughed at one point while on stage... it just came together amazingly.
If the cast Fluttershy and I orchestrate next semester are as amazing as this cast have been, I will consider myself a very lucky USLESer indeed.
Hell, I'm already a lucky USLESer indeed.
Now to part with a random My Little Pony quote:
"What?"
"Aren't you going to tell me to change something, too?"
"No. I just want my dress to be... cool."
"Do you not like the colour?"
"The colour's fine, just, make it look cooler."
"Do you not like the shape?"
"The shape's fine, just, make the whole thing, you know, cooler... iiiit needs to be about 20% cooler."