family guy/insomniac spam-a-lot
OK, maybe it's because I have a test tomorrow. Maybe it's because I was asleep till 11 in the morning yesterday (sacrificing my attendance in two lectures to achieve this fear), maybe it's because my ears and nose are temporarily blocked. Whatever the reason, I can't bloody sleep.
Anyway, I thought I might bother everyone with Family Guy quotes, because, they're great.
#1: Everyone's favourite Christmas song:
LALALALA! LALALALA!
LOOK AT THE BELLS! LOOK AT THE BELLS!
HOLY CRAP HERE COMES JESUS!
AND HE DOESN'T LOOK TOO HAPPY!
#2: From the very first episode:
Brian: Peter! It's 7 o'clock in the evening, and you've still got your pants on! What's the occasion?
#3: Electric Peter!
Lois: Peter if you shock me I swear to God I'm leaving you.
Peter: You'll have to find me first Lois. Where could I be?
Lois: Well, there's a Quanset Hut that I've never seen before; I kinda figure you're in there.
Peter: How do you know Lois? I could be in that New-York-style magazine kiosk.
#4: Stewie's Memoirs:
Stewie: Dear diary: It seems the domestic overseers are plotting against me. Their plans are somehow linked to the anniversary of my escape from the womb. I'm still haunted by the memories of how I came to be incarcerated in that amniotic attiqette. It was every potential man for himself. *fight scene* *stewie as sperm wiping out others* I alone had reached the target objective thanks to the pierless intropiderty I recieved at testicular boot camp.
#5: All the family working to get Chris through private school.
Peter: I've been selling butt scratchers. *thrusts a butt scratcher in Lois' face* BUTT SCRATCHER?!
Lois: No, Peter.
Peter: BUTT SCRATCHER!!
Lois: Peter, no!
Peter: BUTT SCRATCHER?!
Lois: NO!
Peter: Butt scratcher... :(:(
#6: Meg as a phone-sex operator
Meg: What am I wearing? Um, a hat, and... glasses? What kind of underwear? Um... I dunno... big underwear, I guess? I'm sorry, what? Oh. What would I do to you? Well, um... I guess, maybe, we'd get pizza? And, we could maybe, watch House?
Peter *on the other end*: All right, I am totally flaccid, but thank you anyway, m'am, I appreciate your time.
#7: Passion of the Christ
Trailor voice: In the year 33 AD...
Random Guy No.1: The Messiah! He's gone!
Random Guy No.2: Where did he go?
*Cuts to Jesus... putting sunglasses on, driving a fast car, Chris Tucker at his side*
Jesus: Hang on! *approaching enormous truck parked sideways*
Chris: Man, you crazy Jesus? You crazy?!
Jesus: That's what my ex-wife said.
Chris: For the son of God, you sure are a son-of-a--!
Both: WOOOAAAHHH!!! *car runs on top of another car, shoots through truck*
Trailor voice: Chris Tucker, and Jim Caze... Cazve, Caz, Caviziel? Is that it? The guy from the first one? Passion of the Christ 2: Crucify This.
*cuts to series of shots of Jesus handling guns and shooting at enemies, diving behind walls and what not*
Jesus (kneeling behind barrels, handing gun to Chris): You know how to use one of these?
Chris: You know how to use one of theeeessseee??? *shows him a joint*
*Both run out of exploding building*
Trailor voice: This July, let he who is without sin... *still of Jesus in karate pose* kick the first ass!
#8: The AIDS song:
You have AIDS (yes you have AIDS!)
I hate to tell you boy that you have AIDS (you've got the AIDS!)
You may have caught it when you stuck that filthy needle in here!
(Or maybe all that unprotected sex put you here!)
It isn't clear!
(But what we're certain of is--)
You have AIDS (yes you have AIDS!)
Not HIV but full-blown AIIIIDDDDSSSS!!!
(Be sure that you see that this is not HIV...)
But full-blown AIDS!
(Not HIV but really) Full-blown AIDS!
(I'm sorry; I wish it was something less serious...)
But it's AIDS!
Yooouuu've gooot theeee AAAAIIIIDDDDSSSS!!!
#9: Asian driver
Peter: I'll be as untouched as the turn-signal in an asian woman's car!
*Cuts to Asian woman driving*
Woman: How much signal I need to cut across eight lane? None? I turn now! Good luck everybody else!
*cuts across lanes to the thoroughfare of crashes and explosions occuring behind her*
#10: The final one! The FCC song!
Peter: They will clean up all your talking in a manner such as this:
Brian: They will make you take a tinkle when you wanna take a piss!
Stewie: And they'll make you call felatio a trouser-friendly kiss!
All three: It's the plain situation! There's no negotiation!
Peter: With the fellas at the freakin' FCC!
Brian: They're as stuffy as the stuffiest of special interest groups!
Peter: Make a joke about your bowels and they order in the troupes!
Stewie: Any baby with a brain could tell them everybody poops!
All three: Take a tip, take a lesson! You'll never win by messin'!
Peter: With the fellas at the freakin' FCC!
Peter: And if you find yourself with some young sexy thing,
You're gonna have to do her with your ding-a-ling,
'Cause you can't say penis!
Peter: So they sent this little warning; they're prepared to do their worst!
Brian: And they stuck it in your mailbox hoping you could be cohurst!
Stewie: I can think of quite another place they should have stuck it first!
All three: They may just be neurotic! Or possibly psychotic!
They're the FELLAS AT THE FREAKIN' FCC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And what do you know; i feel tired now. g'night everybody!
Anyway, I thought I might bother everyone with Family Guy quotes, because, they're great.
#1: Everyone's favourite Christmas song:
LALALALA! LALALALA!
LOOK AT THE BELLS! LOOK AT THE BELLS!
HOLY CRAP HERE COMES JESUS!
AND HE DOESN'T LOOK TOO HAPPY!
#2: From the very first episode:
Brian: Peter! It's 7 o'clock in the evening, and you've still got your pants on! What's the occasion?
#3: Electric Peter!
Lois: Peter if you shock me I swear to God I'm leaving you.
Peter: You'll have to find me first Lois. Where could I be?
Lois: Well, there's a Quanset Hut that I've never seen before; I kinda figure you're in there.
Peter: How do you know Lois? I could be in that New-York-style magazine kiosk.
#4: Stewie's Memoirs:
Stewie: Dear diary: It seems the domestic overseers are plotting against me. Their plans are somehow linked to the anniversary of my escape from the womb. I'm still haunted by the memories of how I came to be incarcerated in that amniotic attiqette. It was every potential man for himself. *fight scene* *stewie as sperm wiping out others* I alone had reached the target objective thanks to the pierless intropiderty I recieved at testicular boot camp.
#5: All the family working to get Chris through private school.
Peter: I've been selling butt scratchers. *thrusts a butt scratcher in Lois' face* BUTT SCRATCHER?!
Lois: No, Peter.
Peter: BUTT SCRATCHER!!
Lois: Peter, no!
Peter: BUTT SCRATCHER?!
Lois: NO!
Peter: Butt scratcher... :(:(
#6: Meg as a phone-sex operator
Meg: What am I wearing? Um, a hat, and... glasses? What kind of underwear? Um... I dunno... big underwear, I guess? I'm sorry, what? Oh. What would I do to you? Well, um... I guess, maybe, we'd get pizza? And, we could maybe, watch House?
Peter *on the other end*: All right, I am totally flaccid, but thank you anyway, m'am, I appreciate your time.
#7: Passion of the Christ
Trailor voice: In the year 33 AD...
Random Guy No.1: The Messiah! He's gone!
Random Guy No.2: Where did he go?
*Cuts to Jesus... putting sunglasses on, driving a fast car, Chris Tucker at his side*
Jesus: Hang on! *approaching enormous truck parked sideways*
Chris: Man, you crazy Jesus? You crazy?!
Jesus: That's what my ex-wife said.
Chris: For the son of God, you sure are a son-of-a--!
Both: WOOOAAAHHH!!! *car runs on top of another car, shoots through truck*
Trailor voice: Chris Tucker, and Jim Caze... Cazve, Caz, Caviziel? Is that it? The guy from the first one? Passion of the Christ 2: Crucify This.
*cuts to series of shots of Jesus handling guns and shooting at enemies, diving behind walls and what not*
Jesus (kneeling behind barrels, handing gun to Chris): You know how to use one of these?
Chris: You know how to use one of theeeessseee??? *shows him a joint*
*Both run out of exploding building*
Trailor voice: This July, let he who is without sin... *still of Jesus in karate pose* kick the first ass!
#8: The AIDS song:
You have AIDS (yes you have AIDS!)
I hate to tell you boy that you have AIDS (you've got the AIDS!)
You may have caught it when you stuck that filthy needle in here!
(Or maybe all that unprotected sex put you here!)
It isn't clear!
(But what we're certain of is--)
You have AIDS (yes you have AIDS!)
Not HIV but full-blown AIIIIDDDDSSSS!!!
(Be sure that you see that this is not HIV...)
But full-blown AIDS!
(Not HIV but really) Full-blown AIDS!
(I'm sorry; I wish it was something less serious...)
But it's AIDS!
Yooouuu've gooot theeee AAAAIIIIDDDDSSSS!!!
#9: Asian driver
Peter: I'll be as untouched as the turn-signal in an asian woman's car!
*Cuts to Asian woman driving*
Woman: How much signal I need to cut across eight lane? None? I turn now! Good luck everybody else!
*cuts across lanes to the thoroughfare of crashes and explosions occuring behind her*
#10: The final one! The FCC song!
Peter: They will clean up all your talking in a manner such as this:
Brian: They will make you take a tinkle when you wanna take a piss!
Stewie: And they'll make you call felatio a trouser-friendly kiss!
All three: It's the plain situation! There's no negotiation!
Peter: With the fellas at the freakin' FCC!
Brian: They're as stuffy as the stuffiest of special interest groups!
Peter: Make a joke about your bowels and they order in the troupes!
Stewie: Any baby with a brain could tell them everybody poops!
All three: Take a tip, take a lesson! You'll never win by messin'!
Peter: With the fellas at the freakin' FCC!
Peter: And if you find yourself with some young sexy thing,
You're gonna have to do her with your ding-a-ling,
'Cause you can't say penis!
Peter: So they sent this little warning; they're prepared to do their worst!
Brian: And they stuck it in your mailbox hoping you could be cohurst!
Stewie: I can think of quite another place they should have stuck it first!
All three: They may just be neurotic! Or possibly psychotic!
They're the FELLAS AT THE FREAKIN' FCC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And what do you know; i feel tired now. g'night everybody!