I Walk A Lonely Road The Only One That I Have Ever Known
Yeah a few more days til Christmas. In a way i cant wait. In a way i wish it wouldnt come. Its weird. I mean hell i know that just about everyone out there loves Christmas. This holiday kind of bothers me. Because my dad usually becomes a selfish asshole.. I mean.. He would go out and buy my brother and sister new things for Christmas.. i end up with like things he gets from people from his job that he doesnt like.. I mean what the fuck. I mean 2 years ago he gave me this daily planner.. last year he gave me stress relief metal balls. And last year he gave me an opened box of a glass fireman. I dont get it, My bother and sister get video games, board games, money, books and just non boring shit. Then I';; be going to my aunts house. Joy. I really aint crazy about going there. No one really talks to me. SInce im like the whole "oddball" or "reject" of the family. My dad is usually off getting drunk.. And then we crash at their house because my dad is to fucking smashed to drive us back home or he is just being lazy and doesnt want to leave or drive.
"But the world is black
And hearts are cold
And there's no hope
That's what we're told
And we can't go back
It won't be the same
Forever changed
By the things we've seen, seen"
Sigh.. besides that shit with guys in school. Hah. Boy boy boys. Yeah. You see the problem is.. is that..i really really like this guy. a lot. I mean he knows i like him too. Bit.. as time goes on i know he would never like me in t he same way.. ever. It really hurts. Espeically since i liked him for so long. Seeing him with his girlfriend.. or his new girlfriend.. he would look at me then look right past like im not really there. It just.. really sucks. As i look around. I see everyone is getting a boyfriend and a girlfriend. Im like wow i must be a total loser if i no guys like me nor talk to me. heh.. Then as i look at him.. He acts so different then what he used to. I dont know. Im just all weird.
The one thing i really hate is how certain guys treat me. I mean.. Im like a little tomboy. So like they all go rough on me. Like.. most girls either get a hug or a kiss on the cheek.. i usually get a punch in the shoulder or the pound. I mean.. the only guys who had ever really hugged me was Jon and Ian. That.. seriously makes me happy. I dont usually get hugs. I love getting them. It kind of makes me feel speical and wanted for just a minutes in my life. Doesnt anyone else feel like that? Im probably like the only loser who thinks like this.
Im not really doing anything over the Christmas break. Since my family dont travel and whatever. So yeah.. if anyone wants to do anything let me know. Because im mostly gonna be bored stiff at home. Like always. But yeah i think im gonna go. Later.
-Alyssa
You take a seat right next to me
And i take my lit notes nervously
Ive gotta stay calm i just want you to stay
I am always daydreaming
Hoping youve dreamt of the same thing
Ive gotta stay calm i dont this to change
Ive been assuming everything
Hoping you'll soon mean everything
Ive gotta stay calm i want this to be real
I dont think you're into me
But truely thats okay with me
Ive gotta stay calm and find out how you feel
So if you wanna say 'i-i-i like you'
I might feel just like you
If you choose-choose not to
I knew you-you would
Sometimes i think i am out of my league
And then sometimes i think i can dream
Sometimes i wish i could be the one fish
That you choose out of all in the sea
We are non existant
But i'll try to be persistant
Ive gotta keep on if want to be close to you
I know you're uninterested
Im probably just some stupid kid
I could give up if you would want me to
"But the world is black
And hearts are cold
And there's no hope
That's what we're told
And we can't go back
It won't be the same
Forever changed
By the things we've seen, seen"
Sigh.. besides that shit with guys in school. Hah. Boy boy boys. Yeah. You see the problem is.. is that..i really really like this guy. a lot. I mean he knows i like him too. Bit.. as time goes on i know he would never like me in t he same way.. ever. It really hurts. Espeically since i liked him for so long. Seeing him with his girlfriend.. or his new girlfriend.. he would look at me then look right past like im not really there. It just.. really sucks. As i look around. I see everyone is getting a boyfriend and a girlfriend. Im like wow i must be a total loser if i no guys like me nor talk to me. heh.. Then as i look at him.. He acts so different then what he used to. I dont know. Im just all weird.
The one thing i really hate is how certain guys treat me. I mean.. Im like a little tomboy. So like they all go rough on me. Like.. most girls either get a hug or a kiss on the cheek.. i usually get a punch in the shoulder or the pound. I mean.. the only guys who had ever really hugged me was Jon and Ian. That.. seriously makes me happy. I dont usually get hugs. I love getting them. It kind of makes me feel speical and wanted for just a minutes in my life. Doesnt anyone else feel like that? Im probably like the only loser who thinks like this.
Im not really doing anything over the Christmas break. Since my family dont travel and whatever. So yeah.. if anyone wants to do anything let me know. Because im mostly gonna be bored stiff at home. Like always. But yeah i think im gonna go. Later.
-Alyssa
You take a seat right next to me
And i take my lit notes nervously
Ive gotta stay calm i just want you to stay
I am always daydreaming
Hoping youve dreamt of the same thing
Ive gotta stay calm i dont this to change
Ive been assuming everything
Hoping you'll soon mean everything
Ive gotta stay calm i want this to be real
I dont think you're into me
But truely thats okay with me
Ive gotta stay calm and find out how you feel
So if you wanna say 'i-i-i like you'
I might feel just like you
If you choose-choose not to
I knew you-you would
Sometimes i think i am out of my league
And then sometimes i think i can dream
Sometimes i wish i could be the one fish
That you choose out of all in the sea
We are non existant
But i'll try to be persistant
Ive gotta keep on if want to be close to you
I know you're uninterested
Im probably just some stupid kid
I could give up if you would want me to