my testimony
I don’t remember ever really liking myself when I was little. I felt like I could never be good enough for anyone to love. Everything I tried seemed to fall flat, so I closed myself off from everyone. I figured that by isolating myself my failed attempts to earn love wouldn’t matter. But I was wrong. While most people thought my life was sweet inside I felt unloveable and I hated life. Cos of that I tried to kill myself a few times, but kept failing, which kinda made things worse. I don’t know wat bought it to the point where I felt I had no other option but to die. I know I felt that I'd be doing the world a favour. I was about 14 when I planned for days on how to make it work, how I could make it so I wasn’t found for a while. I thought it was foolproof, but as u can tell it wasn’t. I went off to feed my pets so it wouldn’t b noticeable that I wasn’t around, and as I walked down the track which I walked daily I noticed this perfect magpie skeleton on the ground. As I noticed it for the 1st time I heard a voice come from nowhere saying 'I noticed when this bird died, don't u think I care so much more for you?'. Explain it how u will, but I had no other way to explain it apart from it was God. i sat down where I was and cried my eyes out. I felt like I was loved for the 1st time I could remember, and nothing I could do could take it away. When I got back to my room I opened my Bible, and found matthew 10, where it says "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." It bought my to the realisation that God had created me and loved my just as I am, that He gave the ultimate love sacrifice, his son to die for me, so that I could have a personal relationship with him. I still struggle from time to time feeling that I'm not worthy of love, but now I know that despite whatever I do, God still loves me.