The end of this year...
The end of sophomore year has left me a little disoriented to say the least. I have found myself thinking a lot more about certain things going on around me, and a few of them have left me a little uneasy.
First, there is CP (College Players). Last year when I was elected Vice President I was estatic. I couldn't believe that a huge group of people elected me to be their vice president. I received a lot of compliments regarding my leadership and how excited everyone was that I was VP. I was liked. People liked me and I had a lot of friends and life was great. As this past year went on I found myself becoming more and more disliked by the people that voted me in. So much so that I was catching a few comments here and there that people hated me. I have never been hated before. This came as a huge shock to me because I have never been put into this situation. I am the one that everyone likes...the one that brings comic relief to any situation but still knows how to get things done. At the close of this year, I attempted to get re-elected as VP. I lost, but it wasn't losing that upset me. The comments that I was hearing, like how I am a terrible leader, not taken seriously, and didn't accomplish anything. Needless to say, I was/am hurt by these comments. I know that I didn't accomplish everything that I wanted to, but CP got first in Homecoming this year again that I planned, particpated in Relay for Life, and did everything else that they were supposed to do. I even stepped up to be producer of the spring show. I guess I just don't understand and it frustrates me. I asked my close friends if they think I have changed? Ya know like maybe I have changed and I haven't realized it. According to them I haven't. I am the same as last year which I thought/hoped was going to be the answer. So again, my confusion continues and I am really hurt by what happened in the organization that I spent SO much time and effort in that could have been spent elsewhere.
All in all I tried to let all these things not get to me. I mean, it's just one organization, one group of people. But then...Alpha Phi Omega elections came around. APO is the other main organization that I am involved in. I didn't spend as much time as I would have liked with this year because I had sooo much to do with CP and school and what not. But I still managed to do the bare minimum. However, elections for APO were last night for 13 officer positions. I didn't get a single one. I was nominated and everything but the same comments came up from this different group of people. I am not a leader, I am not taken seriously, I am hard to get along with, I am not dedicated enough. After, this I was/am crushed. I am so confused on where all of this is coming from. I understand that from APO's standpoint I wasn't around alot, but since they knew that I was basically kicked out of College Players, I assumed that they knew I would be more involved with APO. Now, I couldn't make it to the elections which hurt me. The CP Banquet was the same night and I had to be there to do officer transitions. But still, I didn't even get a minor role...and the comments that were said were the worst.
So somehow people do not like me anymore and this really upsets and hurts me. I consider myself to be a VERY approachable person and a good friend. A direct quote from my evaluation during the Summer College program is; TJ is passionate and personable. With regard to his leadership skills and positive influence among residents of this program, TJ did an exceptional job
So...I dont know.
And...to top all of this off...the emotional battle regarding boys continues. I realized that I am turning into the "safe one." The one that people go to when they need boyfriend or relationship advice but never the one that someone is interested in a relationship with. Now don't get me wrong I love being that person for people. I like being trusted to give advice because they know that I will not judge them. I like seeing my friends happy and I will try if they need me to, to get them there. But, it is just getting so tiring of potentially getting my hopes up only to realize that all they are looking for is a friend. And there is so much drama and history with everyone in this town! Every guy has some story or history with every other guy. It is funny and weird at the same time. But whatever I digress. Basically there are 2 boys that I am potentially interested in. Right now I have a really good friendship with one of them and I am friends with the other one but I really want to get to know him better. Even though we will more than likely just remain friends, he is still an awesome guy and I would love to maintain a lasting friendship with him. It is just difficult to start a lasting friendship when the summer is coming up and we both already have our established friends. Meh, we will see how is goes.
Well I don't think that this can get any longer but I really wanted to get all of that out. On a happier note, school is almost over! yay! One more week of classes and then finals week...gonna be a lot of work but well worth it.
Finally I will close by saying that Mainstreet is awesome and we need to go there more often!
Good night!
First, there is CP (College Players). Last year when I was elected Vice President I was estatic. I couldn't believe that a huge group of people elected me to be their vice president. I received a lot of compliments regarding my leadership and how excited everyone was that I was VP. I was liked. People liked me and I had a lot of friends and life was great. As this past year went on I found myself becoming more and more disliked by the people that voted me in. So much so that I was catching a few comments here and there that people hated me. I have never been hated before. This came as a huge shock to me because I have never been put into this situation. I am the one that everyone likes...the one that brings comic relief to any situation but still knows how to get things done. At the close of this year, I attempted to get re-elected as VP. I lost, but it wasn't losing that upset me. The comments that I was hearing, like how I am a terrible leader, not taken seriously, and didn't accomplish anything. Needless to say, I was/am hurt by these comments. I know that I didn't accomplish everything that I wanted to, but CP got first in Homecoming this year again that I planned, particpated in Relay for Life, and did everything else that they were supposed to do. I even stepped up to be producer of the spring show. I guess I just don't understand and it frustrates me. I asked my close friends if they think I have changed? Ya know like maybe I have changed and I haven't realized it. According to them I haven't. I am the same as last year which I thought/hoped was going to be the answer. So again, my confusion continues and I am really hurt by what happened in the organization that I spent SO much time and effort in that could have been spent elsewhere.
All in all I tried to let all these things not get to me. I mean, it's just one organization, one group of people. But then...Alpha Phi Omega elections came around. APO is the other main organization that I am involved in. I didn't spend as much time as I would have liked with this year because I had sooo much to do with CP and school and what not. But I still managed to do the bare minimum. However, elections for APO were last night for 13 officer positions. I didn't get a single one. I was nominated and everything but the same comments came up from this different group of people. I am not a leader, I am not taken seriously, I am hard to get along with, I am not dedicated enough. After, this I was/am crushed. I am so confused on where all of this is coming from. I understand that from APO's standpoint I wasn't around alot, but since they knew that I was basically kicked out of College Players, I assumed that they knew I would be more involved with APO. Now, I couldn't make it to the elections which hurt me. The CP Banquet was the same night and I had to be there to do officer transitions. But still, I didn't even get a minor role...and the comments that were said were the worst.
So somehow people do not like me anymore and this really upsets and hurts me. I consider myself to be a VERY approachable person and a good friend. A direct quote from my evaluation during the Summer College program is; TJ is passionate and personable. With regard to his leadership skills and positive influence among residents of this program, TJ did an exceptional job
So...I dont know.
And...to top all of this off...the emotional battle regarding boys continues. I realized that I am turning into the "safe one." The one that people go to when they need boyfriend or relationship advice but never the one that someone is interested in a relationship with. Now don't get me wrong I love being that person for people. I like being trusted to give advice because they know that I will not judge them. I like seeing my friends happy and I will try if they need me to, to get them there. But, it is just getting so tiring of potentially getting my hopes up only to realize that all they are looking for is a friend. And there is so much drama and history with everyone in this town! Every guy has some story or history with every other guy. It is funny and weird at the same time. But whatever I digress. Basically there are 2 boys that I am potentially interested in. Right now I have a really good friendship with one of them and I am friends with the other one but I really want to get to know him better. Even though we will more than likely just remain friends, he is still an awesome guy and I would love to maintain a lasting friendship with him. It is just difficult to start a lasting friendship when the summer is coming up and we both already have our established friends. Meh, we will see how is goes.
Well I don't think that this can get any longer but I really wanted to get all of that out. On a happier note, school is almost over! yay! One more week of classes and then finals week...gonna be a lot of work but well worth it.
Finally I will close by saying that Mainstreet is awesome and we need to go there more often!
Good night!