Bad Mothering- a Mommy War moment
I took the girls to the park yesterday. Wore the Wee One, the Babbler carried her ball and jogged the one street over. She was in the sand under the climber and slide, when this woman and her son, who is just about the same age as the Babbler, walked up. She lives just across from the fish and chip shop on the corner, next to the Italian joint. I see her around, but don't know her name or anything. What I do know, is that she thinks I am a, "Bad Mother".
So there is the Babbler, rolling in the sand, belly crawling in it, and having a grand time. I'm feeding the Wee One, standing under some tree's for the shade factor, watching her. I am listening to this woman tell her son, when he went to join the Babbler in a good roll, "Oi! No! Don't get dirty! Thats bad!" and she turned and glared at me. At first, I was like, "ohh, no you just didn't", then I was irked. She yanked her son up and said, "Go on the slide, or we're going home." and again, glared at me. I gave her a bland level stare back.
He slides (she put him on it, rather than let him climb up himself), she gives him random words of approval. The Babbler decides to join him, and climbs up the thing, and starts jumping around, squealing, as she does. He starts to yell as well, cue his mother, "Oi, no yelling. Thats bad! Shut it, or we're going home." and she glares at me again.
Ok, this is NOT on. I am torn, as in, if I tell her off, will she take it out on her son? I grind my teeth, and pointedly ignore her look. The Babbler keeps on yelling, "Go Slide! GO!" and then bellowing, "Ta-Da!" when she gets to the bottom. The little boy wants so badly to follow, but is looking at his mother in doubt as he stands at the top of the slide, he's not moving, just looking at her, waiting...for what, I don't know..for her to yell more, to yank him off, to threaten to take him home again, to tell him he is allowed to slide?
I call to the Babbler, "Honey, why don't you go play in the sand more and let the little boy slide for a bit." She doesn't want to, she wants to play with the boy. I sigh, and suggest the swing. She scrambles down and runs to the swing. I push her on that for a bit, and listen to this woman say, "No" every other fucking word and watch her boy trying to have fun, looking longingly at the Babbler and getting more and more frustrated. I can see his meltdown coming, from a mile a way.
Sure enough, he starts to rebel, in the only way a toddler has, a tanty. She gets pissed off, and hauls him home, as he wails in anger. I felt so bad for that little guy. For fuckssake lady...he's a little kid, he's supposed to be loud and dirty, its kinda his job! Let him climb by himself. Let him yell and holler, and babble at the top of his lungs, if he is outside at a park. Let him roll in the sand and rub it in his hair. Hell, let him chew on rocks and sticks and splash in mud puddles. Let him pick up frogs and snails. Maybe don't let him smash ants, 'coz thats kinda mean... Oh, and while you are at it..if you live in a townhouse with no yard and have a toddler, 20min at the park, with you barking orders at him, prolly not enough time for him to work his energy out.
The Wee One was sleeping in the carrier, strapped to my front, I ran around, kicking the ball in the grass with the Babbler, and was sure that woman was on the phone to her friends, bitching about what bad mother I was, while her son prolly sat in timeout for being "naughty", because she couldn't be bothered to let him just fucking BE...
But its me, who is the bad parent...uh-huh.
So there is the Babbler, rolling in the sand, belly crawling in it, and having a grand time. I'm feeding the Wee One, standing under some tree's for the shade factor, watching her. I am listening to this woman tell her son, when he went to join the Babbler in a good roll, "Oi! No! Don't get dirty! Thats bad!" and she turned and glared at me. At first, I was like, "ohh, no you just didn't", then I was irked. She yanked her son up and said, "Go on the slide, or we're going home." and again, glared at me. I gave her a bland level stare back.
He slides (she put him on it, rather than let him climb up himself), she gives him random words of approval. The Babbler decides to join him, and climbs up the thing, and starts jumping around, squealing, as she does. He starts to yell as well, cue his mother, "Oi, no yelling. Thats bad! Shut it, or we're going home." and she glares at me again.
Ok, this is NOT on. I am torn, as in, if I tell her off, will she take it out on her son? I grind my teeth, and pointedly ignore her look. The Babbler keeps on yelling, "Go Slide! GO!" and then bellowing, "Ta-Da!" when she gets to the bottom. The little boy wants so badly to follow, but is looking at his mother in doubt as he stands at the top of the slide, he's not moving, just looking at her, waiting...for what, I don't know..for her to yell more, to yank him off, to threaten to take him home again, to tell him he is allowed to slide?
I call to the Babbler, "Honey, why don't you go play in the sand more and let the little boy slide for a bit." She doesn't want to, she wants to play with the boy. I sigh, and suggest the swing. She scrambles down and runs to the swing. I push her on that for a bit, and listen to this woman say, "No" every other fucking word and watch her boy trying to have fun, looking longingly at the Babbler and getting more and more frustrated. I can see his meltdown coming, from a mile a way.
Sure enough, he starts to rebel, in the only way a toddler has, a tanty. She gets pissed off, and hauls him home, as he wails in anger. I felt so bad for that little guy. For fuckssake lady...he's a little kid, he's supposed to be loud and dirty, its kinda his job! Let him climb by himself. Let him yell and holler, and babble at the top of his lungs, if he is outside at a park. Let him roll in the sand and rub it in his hair. Hell, let him chew on rocks and sticks and splash in mud puddles. Let him pick up frogs and snails. Maybe don't let him smash ants, 'coz thats kinda mean... Oh, and while you are at it..if you live in a townhouse with no yard and have a toddler, 20min at the park, with you barking orders at him, prolly not enough time for him to work his energy out.
The Wee One was sleeping in the carrier, strapped to my front, I ran around, kicking the ball in the grass with the Babbler, and was sure that woman was on the phone to her friends, bitching about what bad mother I was, while her son prolly sat in timeout for being "naughty", because she couldn't be bothered to let him just fucking BE...
But its me, who is the bad parent...uh-huh.