Emotions Emotions Emotions
Blah.... Sleepless nights...
I hate that I have anxiety over feeling things. Isn't that kind of dumb? Seriously, it's like things that would have never bothered me before sends my body into some sort of panic whenever it gets some inclination that I'm forming an emotional response over it. I now realize a lot of things. Where I once was confident I am no longer. My insecurities scream at me with every infraction perceived. It's not pleasant and really starting to frustrate me. I hate second guessing myself because it just puts me into a vicious cycle of affirming, then reaffirming, then discrediting, then looking for affirmation... UGH!!! Trust issues fuel it which in turn adds strength to the trust issues.
I began to worry about what was then question what is. Question what used to be and ask what I did to ruin it. These things can be helpful in the right state of mind in that reflection is helpful. Instead these things corrupt my confidence and progression on the way to becoming the person I aspire to be...
Blah my computer is telling me that it has some sort of update to do so I'm just going to leave this where it is and try and turn off for a while and hope for sleep. Here's to hoping I can get at least a few hours of sleep before I have to get ready for work.
*had to finish and post this from my phone thanks to my computer restarting. Ugh
Gnight
Teddy G.
I hate that I have anxiety over feeling things. Isn't that kind of dumb? Seriously, it's like things that would have never bothered me before sends my body into some sort of panic whenever it gets some inclination that I'm forming an emotional response over it. I now realize a lot of things. Where I once was confident I am no longer. My insecurities scream at me with every infraction perceived. It's not pleasant and really starting to frustrate me. I hate second guessing myself because it just puts me into a vicious cycle of affirming, then reaffirming, then discrediting, then looking for affirmation... UGH!!! Trust issues fuel it which in turn adds strength to the trust issues.
I began to worry about what was then question what is. Question what used to be and ask what I did to ruin it. These things can be helpful in the right state of mind in that reflection is helpful. Instead these things corrupt my confidence and progression on the way to becoming the person I aspire to be...
Blah my computer is telling me that it has some sort of update to do so I'm just going to leave this where it is and try and turn off for a while and hope for sleep. Here's to hoping I can get at least a few hours of sleep before I have to get ready for work.
*had to finish and post this from my phone thanks to my computer restarting. Ugh
Gnight
Teddy G.