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[teddybearracing]

Well I feel a little better today. OKay I may sound weird expaining how I do feel today, but oh well. If you dont all know that I am a little weird already than :) now you do. I feel kinda distant within myself. Like I am walking around and and not really here. I know that sounds weird, but I dont really know the words to describe it. I had someone

Comments

[macaholic]

Hey. You don't need to feel bad about talking about how you feel. Besides the fact that this is your journal and you are free to say what you want about what you want, most of us do the exact same thing. So, if nothing else, you are in like company.

Hug

[teddybearracing]

I know I tell people the same thing(about that it is there journal........write whatever), I didnt really know how to describe how I have been feeling today. This really sucks because more and more now, I am starting to have like an empty feeling. Last night after I gave my daughter a bath.......I just had a feeling come over me that I didnt like. I just felt really sad and empty. I mean I have two wonderful children and that I thank GOD every day for, but geez they say he doesnt give you more than you can handle. I am telling you I cant handle much more. I will never commit suicide, but I may end up going nuts. Or at least it feels like it sometimes.

Thank you for your comment and the hug........I needed that:)

[macaholic]

Are you getting enough sleep? And, is it a good sleep? I know you are stressed right now. Is there someone that you can talk to in order to talk some of that stress out?

If not, just write everything out in your journal. You can make it a private entry if you want, or shut off comments, or what ever. But, talking and/or writing it all out can sometimes help...even if it pulls you deeper for a short while, it is like a release.

Hugs.

[teddybearracing]

Dear I nver get enough sleep. I am usually in bed by the latest at 1-2am and back up by 6-6:15am. Someday I will be able to get more but right now I just cant. Thank you for the suggestion...actually I do let it out by writing it down. I have wrote quite a few private journals. I am just getting really tired of talking about the same thing. I just need things to get better and fast. I think I am really getting even more scared about school starting in a little more than a month and me quiting my job. I do know deep inside that everything will be okay, but it still is stressful and scary.

Hugs back to you.........have a better night......

[macaholic]

All new things are stressful and can be scary.

As for talking and writing...until you get out what you need to get out and said what you need to get said, keep at it. Look for the honesty and truth within yourself...only you can do that anyway. Find a trusted someone with whom you can be candid...not necessarily tell everything, but can be honest with. If there is no one, then a stranger (ie therapist) or a real stranger who can think you are nuts and you don't care if they do. Just don't tell them too much. *grin*

[teddybearracing]

I do have very few people that I trust and feel safe to talk with and well I do. The thing is I have a lot of pride and it is just hard for me to talk to anyone about my financial problems. I have seen a therapist, in the past but really I felt like I was the one that was the therapist because I knew what to do without her telling me. Anyways thank you for your comments and I will continue to write my thoughts and feeling down because that is what works best for me. Oh and by the way that is one of my fault because I am truley honest with everyone. Have a great night and thank you again.

[macaholic]

:)

you will be fine.