This is why I can't have weapons at work.
Dear J,
The correct way to respond to a basic, yet annoying computer problem (nasty virus) is "Oh, darn. Can you please fix it for a reasonable cost?"
Not, and I repeat, not, to seriously complain that you should have SHOT YOUR HUSBAND WHO IS DYING OF CANCER before he moved to Florida (presumably to get away from this piece of work) because "he did all this computer shit and now I don't understand it." Especially when you are too stupid to learn what "cut-and-paste" is and freak out because your pathetic little embroidery jpegs are in a different folder than you want.
Seriously, go die. Go die in some horrible way so your poor husband gets all your life insurance money.
No Love, Clawed.
No Really, every time this woman has to call us about her computer (which is often, as she's just that... stupid), she swears like a.... I don't know what, I've never heard anyone swear quite as much as she does outside of shock TV, and informs us that she wants her husband dead over whatever minor problem she's encountered. Not like joking dead, which would be bad enough, like I think he left the state because he feared for his life dead. If Swang weren't so insistent on me being nice to customers, I'd have given her a piece of my mind and thrown her and her piece of crap embroidery machine out on their ass.