I used to think I knew my way around this town
My sister is back from LA. And I wish she was gone already. It’s so stressful when she’s around. We are so different, and I wish she was her own person.
Wes is moving to Florida, and I miss him already. Even thought we didn’t hang out that much- I feel like I’m loosing a best friend. He put up with all my comments and honesty even when it wasn’t really necessary at the time. He’s leaving either next weekend, or the next.
I just want to pack my bags and move up to IL already. I’m ready. I’m over all the shit that’s down here. But I know where I go, my troubles, and all that shit will come with me. But I’d like to start over. Move to a place where no one knows me, and I can make new friends. I don’t like depending on my parents for money. I find it degrading.
When we were dragging all of my sisters shit back into the house, my Dad fell over, and hit the banister on our steps, and it broke, and if he had fallen the wrong way, he could have paralyzed himself. And he was asking for my help, and I couldn’t figure out what he wanted from me, and I keep thinking seeing him falling and I just start to cry. I would blame myself if he had really, really hurt himself. I wouldn’t be able to live with that.
C'mon, mom.
I'm so scared.
All things you told me are coming true.
C'mon, now.
I'm too young to feel this tired.
Sorry you ran out of money so soon.
And drifting on the open sea won't get you there this time.
C'mon, friends.
Let's make those repairs.
It's your heart that's broken not your legs
And there's a fight to get into somewhere.
It's cool inside.
A friendly place to hide.
And it's a bad rain today so let's try not to speak of old times.
And it's a long shot but I'm looking for the good.
Just like you told me to do but I'm told it takes practice to improve.
You're a fucking liar and I'm leaving.
And you can keep all the friends that you made through me.
I'm lying too, I can't leave home alone.
I'd rather cut all these losses and not take another bet for a bright new fucking day.
Let's shout from on hight, we're still failing.
We still got more regrets than mistakes. It takes focus at this level of failing.
But at least your friends can relate.
So write or call or just think of us from time to time.
I'll still be drifting.
But he was so gifted.
Fair enough.
Lately, I haven’t been able to eat anything. Whenever breakfast/lunch/dinner whatever meal it is, I sit and stare at it, and my stomach turns. I stress out so much that I can’t eat anything. And sometimes I get really hungry, and go downstairs to make something, and then I can’t eat it. I think I’ve lost some weight. Or maybe that’s from working out.
Speaking of working out, my MP3 player broke and I’m pissed. I worked my ass off all summer to get that thing, and now it won’t work. And my sister is handed hers by her rich boyfriends parents. And my cousins get a new one every fucking month because their dad works for qualcom, some place that does something for apple ipods. And then when I asked him for one for my birthday, cause hey, they are fucking free. They don’t have anymore. And a few weeks ago, I heard he had a fucking closet for. Their fucking 5 year old has like 4 of them. Does a 4 year old even NEED one?
Maybe I’m coming off as materialistic, and I hope not, but that ‘really grinds my gears.’
I try not to be materialistic, and I try to be nice, and accept everyone and not think badly of anyone- to be Buddhist. But it’s really hard. I try so hard. And I can’t stand how horrible people are. I’ve lost hope in humanity because of all the horrible things people do to others.
And now I’m listening to Our Lady Peace, and I’m about to cry, because most of their songs I can relate to. Same with Her Space Holiday.
our lady peace
Innocent
oh, and Tina, losing faith in what she knows
hates her music, hates all of her clothes
thinks of surgery and a new nose
every calorie's a war
and while she wishes she was a dancer
and that she'd never heard of cancer
she wishes god would give her some answers
and make her feel beautiful
That almost describes me to a T, save for the fact that every calorie is a war.
her space holiday
happy as a ghost
i don't know where
i hide my emotions
wanted to show you
my undying devotion
they started to dance
to the sound of romance
you said, don't they look happy
i know you wish you were happy
wanted to ask you
but my courage fell through
so you missed our drinks
and ignored my kinks
but they're there
i know the reason
that you hate the season
i leave you feeling
like you're unappealing
so we have to leave
and i grabbed your car keys
hand in hand
too much beauty for me to stand
i watched the lights move
across your perfect face
there's no other time
there's no other place
that i'd rather be
here with you
than here with you
sleepy California
I used to think that I knew
My way around this town
But I'm always getting lost
Since you're not around
I never thought that I would say this
But I miss my mom
Even though for all those years
We didn't get along
And when I stop to think about it
I guess we were the same
Too stubborn to apologize
Too filled up on rage
I wish she felt young again
When everything was new
When her father held her hand
And said, "There's nothing you can't do"
And then I woke up to a phone call
Right On Christmas day
It said, "Your grandmother is dying
In a painful way
Her lungs are filling up with fluid
Even as we speak
The doctor said that if she's lucky
She'll make it 'til next week"
I had one last chance to see her
Right before I moved
But I didn't end up going
I used some lame excuse
I hope that she’s not scared
Lying there alone
I hope she hears her husband’s voice
Telling her she's coming home
It's just Sleepy California
But I just hope they know
It's just Sleepy California
How much I really care
It's just Sleepy California
How I want the best for them
It's just Sleepy California
Even though I'm hardly there
Famous to Me
My stomach hurts I can't sleep
What the hell's inside of me?
Makes me feel this way
Almost every day
Was it something I did as a hurtful kid?
My payback from way back?
It's the way that it goes
It's such a trip that I can hide how close I am to suicide
Get those records, that's what it's all about
There is nothing more that I can say
I'll save my life for a rainy day
I light a cigarette for all the regret
You're famous to me
You help me breath
You're famous to me
You're all that I need
Okay. Well I’m done. This post was pretty much pointless and was all lyrics, but whatever.
Wes is moving to Florida, and I miss him already. Even thought we didn’t hang out that much- I feel like I’m loosing a best friend. He put up with all my comments and honesty even when it wasn’t really necessary at the time. He’s leaving either next weekend, or the next.
I just want to pack my bags and move up to IL already. I’m ready. I’m over all the shit that’s down here. But I know where I go, my troubles, and all that shit will come with me. But I’d like to start over. Move to a place where no one knows me, and I can make new friends. I don’t like depending on my parents for money. I find it degrading.
When we were dragging all of my sisters shit back into the house, my Dad fell over, and hit the banister on our steps, and it broke, and if he had fallen the wrong way, he could have paralyzed himself. And he was asking for my help, and I couldn’t figure out what he wanted from me, and I keep thinking seeing him falling and I just start to cry. I would blame myself if he had really, really hurt himself. I wouldn’t be able to live with that.
C'mon, mom.
I'm so scared.
All things you told me are coming true.
C'mon, now.
I'm too young to feel this tired.
Sorry you ran out of money so soon.
And drifting on the open sea won't get you there this time.
C'mon, friends.
Let's make those repairs.
It's your heart that's broken not your legs
And there's a fight to get into somewhere.
It's cool inside.
A friendly place to hide.
And it's a bad rain today so let's try not to speak of old times.
And it's a long shot but I'm looking for the good.
Just like you told me to do but I'm told it takes practice to improve.
You're a fucking liar and I'm leaving.
And you can keep all the friends that you made through me.
I'm lying too, I can't leave home alone.
I'd rather cut all these losses and not take another bet for a bright new fucking day.
Let's shout from on hight, we're still failing.
We still got more regrets than mistakes. It takes focus at this level of failing.
But at least your friends can relate.
So write or call or just think of us from time to time.
I'll still be drifting.
But he was so gifted.
Fair enough.
Lately, I haven’t been able to eat anything. Whenever breakfast/lunch/dinner whatever meal it is, I sit and stare at it, and my stomach turns. I stress out so much that I can’t eat anything. And sometimes I get really hungry, and go downstairs to make something, and then I can’t eat it. I think I’ve lost some weight. Or maybe that’s from working out.
Speaking of working out, my MP3 player broke and I’m pissed. I worked my ass off all summer to get that thing, and now it won’t work. And my sister is handed hers by her rich boyfriends parents. And my cousins get a new one every fucking month because their dad works for qualcom, some place that does something for apple ipods. And then when I asked him for one for my birthday, cause hey, they are fucking free. They don’t have anymore. And a few weeks ago, I heard he had a fucking closet for. Their fucking 5 year old has like 4 of them. Does a 4 year old even NEED one?
Maybe I’m coming off as materialistic, and I hope not, but that ‘really grinds my gears.’
I try not to be materialistic, and I try to be nice, and accept everyone and not think badly of anyone- to be Buddhist. But it’s really hard. I try so hard. And I can’t stand how horrible people are. I’ve lost hope in humanity because of all the horrible things people do to others.
And now I’m listening to Our Lady Peace, and I’m about to cry, because most of their songs I can relate to. Same with Her Space Holiday.
our lady peace
Innocent
oh, and Tina, losing faith in what she knows
hates her music, hates all of her clothes
thinks of surgery and a new nose
every calorie's a war
and while she wishes she was a dancer
and that she'd never heard of cancer
she wishes god would give her some answers
and make her feel beautiful
That almost describes me to a T, save for the fact that every calorie is a war.
her space holiday
happy as a ghost
i don't know where
i hide my emotions
wanted to show you
my undying devotion
they started to dance
to the sound of romance
you said, don't they look happy
i know you wish you were happy
wanted to ask you
but my courage fell through
so you missed our drinks
and ignored my kinks
but they're there
i know the reason
that you hate the season
i leave you feeling
like you're unappealing
so we have to leave
and i grabbed your car keys
hand in hand
too much beauty for me to stand
i watched the lights move
across your perfect face
there's no other time
there's no other place
that i'd rather be
here with you
than here with you
sleepy California
I used to think that I knew
My way around this town
But I'm always getting lost
Since you're not around
I never thought that I would say this
But I miss my mom
Even though for all those years
We didn't get along
And when I stop to think about it
I guess we were the same
Too stubborn to apologize
Too filled up on rage
I wish she felt young again
When everything was new
When her father held her hand
And said, "There's nothing you can't do"
And then I woke up to a phone call
Right On Christmas day
It said, "Your grandmother is dying
In a painful way
Her lungs are filling up with fluid
Even as we speak
The doctor said that if she's lucky
She'll make it 'til next week"
I had one last chance to see her
Right before I moved
But I didn't end up going
I used some lame excuse
I hope that she’s not scared
Lying there alone
I hope she hears her husband’s voice
Telling her she's coming home
It's just Sleepy California
But I just hope they know
It's just Sleepy California
How much I really care
It's just Sleepy California
How I want the best for them
It's just Sleepy California
Even though I'm hardly there
Famous to Me
My stomach hurts I can't sleep
What the hell's inside of me?
Makes me feel this way
Almost every day
Was it something I did as a hurtful kid?
My payback from way back?
It's the way that it goes
It's such a trip that I can hide how close I am to suicide
Get those records, that's what it's all about
There is nothing more that I can say
I'll save my life for a rainy day
I light a cigarette for all the regret
You're famous to me
You help me breath
You're famous to me
You're all that I need
Okay. Well I’m done. This post was pretty much pointless and was all lyrics, but whatever.