What it takes.
It has been just over a year, I see, since I last posted to this journal. A shame, as there are a great many things that happened during the past year that I'd like to be able to recall with greater clarity. The most important thing that happened during the last year was my relationship with T. After years of friendship and flirting, we became a couple in May of last year. Last night we ceased to be one.
I'm living in Oceanside these days and T and her dog moved in here with me a few months ago. It's a lovely place, but is ninety minutes away from greater L.A., which can be somewhat isolating. With T moving out next week, I'll feel the bite of that distance all the more keenly. A bright note: Amtrak will take me to Union Station for twenty bucks- which is a deal when you look at fuel prices these days- and there's a station within walking distance of my front door.
I turned to this journal because I thought it important to capture the essence of my reaction. Maybe if I remember more, things will suck less next time. Without diving into gory details, what complaints she had I could find no fault with. I'm all too aware of my shortcomings, and feel certain that after years of only getting the Todd highlight reel, coming face to face with the fallible and fault-ridden flesh and blood must come as something of a disappointment.
So all that is nothing new. What can I learn?
I was caught off-guard because, while I knew things were stagnating for various reasons, I thought I'd get a chance to sit down, go over what we both need to work on, and see how we move ahead from there. Next time I'll be quicker to address anything I feel is going astray. My partner wont always be willing to sit down and work things out by the time things get bad. To boil it down to a more general rule, don't expect other people to have the same mindset and expectations. Sounds laughably simple when expressed that way, but it's an error I've seen over and over again. Projection of our own perceptions and frames of mind onto those we interact with rather than looking objectively and being certain before proceeding.
More than once she'd ask me when I was going to update my journal. Well, I guess this is what it took.
With the ice broken, as it were, I'll likely be posting here more often. Hopefully with more photography. HDR stuff. I won't just go all emo and plaster the walls with bad poetry about loneliness and desolation. If there's something you learn, having ridden these waves time and again, it's a certain emotional resilience. A certain perspective.
So anyway. Hi. Good to be back. Go out there and drink some water. And, to end this on a happy note, I'll share my favorite joke these days. A sexy math joke, if you can believe such a thing.
What's the square root of sixty-nine?
Eight somethin'.
Thanks, folks, thanks. I'm here all week. Try the steak!
I'm living in Oceanside these days and T and her dog moved in here with me a few months ago. It's a lovely place, but is ninety minutes away from greater L.A., which can be somewhat isolating. With T moving out next week, I'll feel the bite of that distance all the more keenly. A bright note: Amtrak will take me to Union Station for twenty bucks- which is a deal when you look at fuel prices these days- and there's a station within walking distance of my front door.
I turned to this journal because I thought it important to capture the essence of my reaction. Maybe if I remember more, things will suck less next time. Without diving into gory details, what complaints she had I could find no fault with. I'm all too aware of my shortcomings, and feel certain that after years of only getting the Todd highlight reel, coming face to face with the fallible and fault-ridden flesh and blood must come as something of a disappointment.
So all that is nothing new. What can I learn?
I was caught off-guard because, while I knew things were stagnating for various reasons, I thought I'd get a chance to sit down, go over what we both need to work on, and see how we move ahead from there. Next time I'll be quicker to address anything I feel is going astray. My partner wont always be willing to sit down and work things out by the time things get bad. To boil it down to a more general rule, don't expect other people to have the same mindset and expectations. Sounds laughably simple when expressed that way, but it's an error I've seen over and over again. Projection of our own perceptions and frames of mind onto those we interact with rather than looking objectively and being certain before proceeding.
More than once she'd ask me when I was going to update my journal. Well, I guess this is what it took.
With the ice broken, as it were, I'll likely be posting here more often. Hopefully with more photography. HDR stuff. I won't just go all emo and plaster the walls with bad poetry about loneliness and desolation. If there's something you learn, having ridden these waves time and again, it's a certain emotional resilience. A certain perspective.
So anyway. Hi. Good to be back. Go out there and drink some water. And, to end this on a happy note, I'll share my favorite joke these days. A sexy math joke, if you can believe such a thing.
What's the square root of sixty-nine?
Eight somethin'.
Thanks, folks, thanks. I'm here all week. Try the steak!