"long venting spree...from my other journal.
This is from my other journal...I dont think those fools can handle this..hahaha jk. well kinda not. but eh. I shouldnt have wrote it in there in the first place..anyways.
Things really haven’t been the same lately I don’t know what it is but I just don’t feel the same. I’m just sad…blah. I don’t know, I cry over stupid shit, and get mad at nothing. I’m sitting here thinking about this one friend who I’m just not feeling anymore. I don’t answer her phone calls anymore because she just talks about stupid stuff and herself too much. I swear I sit on the phone not even talking just listening to stupid overly detailed stories of her day. I mean she told me how she answered my text. How it vibrated and blah blah blah. Shit I don’t care about and don’t need to know. She brags and tries to empress me.
That’s not just it, my brother is an ass, and he comes over and takes my ramen and Pepsi. He doesn’t even ask unless I’m right in front of his face. He even took my shampoo and conditioner and when I asked him about it he said “there was other bottles in the cupboard” He doesn’t live here anymore. I feel like I can’t say anything because he doesn’t have a lot because he got fired for a stupid ass reason and he doesn’t start a new job until next Monday. His girlfriend, Anastasia is in Mexico for 6 weeks and he’s all pissy. He mows lawns then just byes beer and weed and cigarettes. What’s a sister to do? He asks me for money and weed. He talks about how we need to take care of our mom but then he gets drunk and high all the time. He doesn’t see that THAT’S what hurts our mom. He looks sick; his face has gotten smaller then a hooker. (Not trying to be funny) He is so skinny because when he gets money for mowing lawns he just byes beer. How is he going to pay rent? My mom and him keep shit from me, and I probably shouldn’t say this but Anastasia had an abortion. I would have been an aunt. Do you know how much I’m against that especially when they love each other?
My mom gets so mad at me for his shit, she doesn’t care about me, or how I feel. I keep telling her to stop giving him money because that’s all he byes but she doesn’t listen. I tell her how I feel about certain people and things and she just changes the subject. For example, on the way home Saturday night from the Drumline competition, I told her how I felt left out practically the whole time and told her what happened and stuff and she literally just said “oh well” no fucking joke and told me about some stupid driver that scared her on the way coming to get us. She didn’t even notice that I started crying.
My dad isn’t around. The other day after my brother’s graduation, we were driving around looking for some place to eat and my mom thought she saw my dad sitting on the street. Well we drove back around so she could make sure it wasn’t him. She was just so opened about it with my brother like they always talk about it and I’m sure my brother has seen him before. I was in a shitty mood because I had a hangover but my brother wouldn’t shut up. I swear he just kept talking and talking and talking. So when we dropped him off at his apartment, I got in the front and I was like “gah, does he ever shut up!!” and my mom got all pissed at me and like the whole way home she was like commenting on every building and store and restaurant and shit and saying how “I want to go there” and “I went there once and blah blah blah” and I was just like “mom, can you just shut up, Jacob talked enough already, I don’t feel good and you wont shut up, you keep commenting on everything and I don’t care!” and she didn’t say anything. I could tell I kind of hurt her feelings and I felt bad and I said I’m sorry and explained…it didn’t help her but at least I tried? Blah….enough "venting" on stupid shit.
Things really haven’t been the same lately I don’t know what it is but I just don’t feel the same. I’m just sad…blah. I don’t know, I cry over stupid shit, and get mad at nothing. I’m sitting here thinking about this one friend who I’m just not feeling anymore. I don’t answer her phone calls anymore because she just talks about stupid stuff and herself too much. I swear I sit on the phone not even talking just listening to stupid overly detailed stories of her day. I mean she told me how she answered my text. How it vibrated and blah blah blah. Shit I don’t care about and don’t need to know. She brags and tries to empress me.
That’s not just it, my brother is an ass, and he comes over and takes my ramen and Pepsi. He doesn’t even ask unless I’m right in front of his face. He even took my shampoo and conditioner and when I asked him about it he said “there was other bottles in the cupboard” He doesn’t live here anymore. I feel like I can’t say anything because he doesn’t have a lot because he got fired for a stupid ass reason and he doesn’t start a new job until next Monday. His girlfriend, Anastasia is in Mexico for 6 weeks and he’s all pissy. He mows lawns then just byes beer and weed and cigarettes. What’s a sister to do? He asks me for money and weed. He talks about how we need to take care of our mom but then he gets drunk and high all the time. He doesn’t see that THAT’S what hurts our mom. He looks sick; his face has gotten smaller then a hooker. (Not trying to be funny) He is so skinny because when he gets money for mowing lawns he just byes beer. How is he going to pay rent? My mom and him keep shit from me, and I probably shouldn’t say this but Anastasia had an abortion. I would have been an aunt. Do you know how much I’m against that especially when they love each other?
My mom gets so mad at me for his shit, she doesn’t care about me, or how I feel. I keep telling her to stop giving him money because that’s all he byes but she doesn’t listen. I tell her how I feel about certain people and things and she just changes the subject. For example, on the way home Saturday night from the Drumline competition, I told her how I felt left out practically the whole time and told her what happened and stuff and she literally just said “oh well” no fucking joke and told me about some stupid driver that scared her on the way coming to get us. She didn’t even notice that I started crying.
My dad isn’t around. The other day after my brother’s graduation, we were driving around looking for some place to eat and my mom thought she saw my dad sitting on the street. Well we drove back around so she could make sure it wasn’t him. She was just so opened about it with my brother like they always talk about it and I’m sure my brother has seen him before. I was in a shitty mood because I had a hangover but my brother wouldn’t shut up. I swear he just kept talking and talking and talking. So when we dropped him off at his apartment, I got in the front and I was like “gah, does he ever shut up!!” and my mom got all pissed at me and like the whole way home she was like commenting on every building and store and restaurant and shit and saying how “I want to go there” and “I went there once and blah blah blah” and I was just like “mom, can you just shut up, Jacob talked enough already, I don’t feel good and you wont shut up, you keep commenting on everything and I don’t care!” and she didn’t say anything. I could tell I kind of hurt her feelings and I felt bad and I said I’m sorry and explained…it didn’t help her but at least I tried? Blah….enough "venting" on stupid shit.