FM Challenge #39 - Jealousy
At times, I feel more alive than the nameless people who pass me on the street, in the isles of the library, and the stores in the mall. It’s almost as if they have this aura surrounding them that only I can see. Maybe it’s real, or maybe imagined, but I see it.
See it, it’s almost as if I can taste it, feel it, since my return, if that is what you want to call it, my senses are heightened.
Most of the people, whom I interact with, regardless of the circumstance, live as if they were dead, faces drawn, they retch of death, and the color holding their aura captive is that of lifelessness.
Some give my heart hope; hope of something more something beyond the reality of what I now know. The sparkle, lives in them, sending out an electricity I’ve never known, one I might have known with Giles, one that I might have known as a small child dancing under the moonlight in my beloved Borsa.
They even move differently, a type of bounce, lightness. In that step, I see the life they possesses, a smile that radiates from them, passing to even the most cynical of human inhabitants. This essence draws others to them like a moth to a flame. Their aroma of life, tickles your nose, like the smell of freshly baked cookies on a Christmas morning.
We’ve all noticed them, wanted to be around them, feeling better just to occupy the same space with them. Every un-dead, evil vile creature hunts them, wanting to possess their life force.
If one thinks about it, with so many dark things in this world, it makes sense that there would be light things as well. Not necessarily magical in nature, granted some are, but from my view, most are just everyday people, living life out to its fullest totally unaware of the things that go bump in the night.
People whom; know their purpose, or who are on that path to realization.
Of all of the things I’ve seen, or wanted, that is what I covet the most, to be one of those people who smell live, who radiate a happiness that is contagious and bring that happiness to others, with a smile or a nod, or just simply by being in the same room with another.
I want to be that person who knows her purpose on this big green planet of ours, and while I’m wishing here, a person who never crossed the threshold of darkness, who is blissfully unaware of the darkness that comes from beneath.
I am jealous of those happy, shiny people, was I ever one of them? And if I’m being honest, I’d have to admit to being jealous of that moment of supreme happiness Angel had with Buffy, but it’s more than that, so much more.
I want that feeling that comes with knowing who you are, of where you are going, of not being invisible, but being whole.
When I look at my own reflection in the mirror, I want my color to be different, my smile to make others smile, instead of the feeling that I am some evil dead thing.
Muse: Jenny Calendar
Fandom: Buffy
Word Count: 535
See it, it’s almost as if I can taste it, feel it, since my return, if that is what you want to call it, my senses are heightened.
Most of the people, whom I interact with, regardless of the circumstance, live as if they were dead, faces drawn, they retch of death, and the color holding their aura captive is that of lifelessness.
Some give my heart hope; hope of something more something beyond the reality of what I now know. The sparkle, lives in them, sending out an electricity I’ve never known, one I might have known with Giles, one that I might have known as a small child dancing under the moonlight in my beloved Borsa.
They even move differently, a type of bounce, lightness. In that step, I see the life they possesses, a smile that radiates from them, passing to even the most cynical of human inhabitants. This essence draws others to them like a moth to a flame. Their aroma of life, tickles your nose, like the smell of freshly baked cookies on a Christmas morning.
We’ve all noticed them, wanted to be around them, feeling better just to occupy the same space with them. Every un-dead, evil vile creature hunts them, wanting to possess their life force.
If one thinks about it, with so many dark things in this world, it makes sense that there would be light things as well. Not necessarily magical in nature, granted some are, but from my view, most are just everyday people, living life out to its fullest totally unaware of the things that go bump in the night.
People whom; know their purpose, or who are on that path to realization.
Of all of the things I’ve seen, or wanted, that is what I covet the most, to be one of those people who smell live, who radiate a happiness that is contagious and bring that happiness to others, with a smile or a nod, or just simply by being in the same room with another.
I want to be that person who knows her purpose on this big green planet of ours, and while I’m wishing here, a person who never crossed the threshold of darkness, who is blissfully unaware of the darkness that comes from beneath.
I am jealous of those happy, shiny people, was I ever one of them? And if I’m being honest, I’d have to admit to being jealous of that moment of supreme happiness Angel had with Buffy, but it’s more than that, so much more.
I want that feeling that comes with knowing who you are, of where you are going, of not being invisible, but being whole.
When I look at my own reflection in the mirror, I want my color to be different, my smile to make others smile, instead of the feeling that I am some evil dead thing.
Muse: Jenny Calendar
Fandom: Buffy
Word Count: 535