You taught me that you had the right by simply taking it.
What the fuck. I know I say that a lot but - WHAT THE FUCK. Fuck that book. No piece of writing has ever made me angrier or more upset or more disturbed or more nauseous UGH afjiusdfjhsdfkhjsdfhl. But. The fact that it elicited such a strong response speaks well of it. Truth be told it was a good book. Even the ending. Even the ending, which every iota of my being disagreed with and which I thought ruined the book, it was a good ending. I said it was a bad ending to be spiteful but it was a good ending. In a way. Better in the long run than the ending I wanted, which would have been the easy way out. I mean, it ruined the book, but it made it better. Or it elevated it at least. I mean, it made it something different.
What I mean is, I prefer books where people get what they want in the end to books where people get their own severed cocks shoved down their throats in the end. But I guess you can't win when the protagonist is a rapist. That was my problem, I guess - getting attached to a protagonist who's in a totally fucked and hopeless situation right from the get-go. No chance of escape or redemption or forgiveness, even if the bastard truly is sorry, 'cause the damage is done and it can't be taken back. But that is life, yes? I'm too young and I just can't handle hard truths. I don't know what this all means, but I still wanna call up Irvine Welsh and be like, "Yeah, fuck you, too, man."
The only book I remember fucking me up this much immediately after I finished it is Watchmen and that's not really a book, it's (ahem) a graphic novel.
Well now that's all done, and I just finished being a reflexive animal retard and yelling at my girlfriend on the phone for telling me to read that shite, and I was going to eat a hot dog for dinner but I don't think I'll be eating any hot dogs for a little while.
oh also I moved into my new place in LA and I really like the Brian Jonestown Massacre and a bunch of other stuff happened but I don't feel like writing about it. ugh.