I need some advice.

[technicolornina]

So my sister and her husband had a proposal for me tonight. This isn't a thing I can ask my emotionally-unstable mother about, and frankly I'm at a loss:

Comments

[adawnrae]

You need a change, and this is a real opportunity to make one. It may or may not work out, but you know that where you are now isn't ever going to magically become good for you. You may end up keeping kosher, at least when eating with your sister and her family, but you can always go get a bacon cheeseburger (the most un-kosher thing I can think of LOL) when they are all at temple. Just make it clear that is a necessary part of your down time.

You may end up doing more nanny duty than is agreed upon, but it also gets you out of a bad situation, helps you work toward your goals and gives you a better support network from the non-batshit part of your family, who might actually be able to support you in a healthy manner.

It sounds like the major thing holding you back is Ellie, and honestly, a girl you just met, not matter how great she may seem, is still only a potential good match, and not the only one out there. You would be giving up so much for merely the hope of having a good and healthy relationship in the midst of a situation that's neither good nor healthy, and that is a huge sacrifice for a very slim hope.

[technicolornina]

You have such a firm head on your shoulders, I want to know where I can get one.

Logically I know everything you're saying is true, and after a long and weepy talk with a friend last night, I'm leaning heavily toward doing it. I just got a promotion at work, but it's a dead-end promotion--there's nowhere up the ladder for me to move except into management, which I don't want. I can get pay raises, but what is 50 cents a year? And unlike a lot of people who just up and dump the company and leave it in the lurch, I could give them 2-3 months to find, hire, and train a replacement. It's just hard to accept the price, even though I know it's not as great as it could be. I also don't want to hurt Ellie, either by leading her on or by being like "welp, I told you I was going to be in Phoenix when you got here, but GUESS WHAT I'm doing in three months!" That just doesn't seem fair.

[adawnrae]

Three months is a good chunk of time to prepare and do what you need to do to wrap things up in Phoenix. You can't take on too much responsibility for Ellie, just be honest with her about your situation and let her make her own choices. The sooner you talk with her about this possibility, the better it will be.

Pff, it is easy to have a level head when it isn't your own life and you're looking at it from an outside perspective. I have often seen you do the same thing, sweetie. :P

[technicolornina]

This is true. We're supposed to go out to Apollo's tomorrow when I get back in Phx, so maybe we can talk then.

It always amazes me when people say I'm levelheaded. Like . . . really?