at work & i have nobody to talk to.

[techni_color]

today is perhaps one of the most unhappy days i have ever experienced. i hate feeling like im alone no matter how many people are around me. i guess thats normal though, to still feel lonely when you are around hundreds of strange faces. lately i have been feeling like that around everyone, even myself. i find myself searching the room for a willing ear to talk-off, and rarely do i find it. i love life, to the point where its almost unhealthy, but right now the only thing i dont love about my life is myself. i feel like too often i step out of myself and pick out all of my faults. or maybe its just that people pick them out in front of me. i wish that things were different. sometimes i wish i was back home. i hate that i am being seperated from all my friends all the time. i just feel like we barely know eachother anymore. it would be easier to miss them than to feel what i feel when i am sitting in a room full of people who are supposed to care about me. i dont know why i have been writing in here the past two days. maybe i just feel like i dont have anyone to talk to anymore. and the one person that i really need to see and talk to right now is in a different state than i am. i love him, i wish they could see that. i wish they would stop judging me because of a feeling that is in my heart. it doesnt matter what they say. i guess thats the entire problem behind how i feel...it doesnt matter what anyone says anymore.

come home, baby boy.
or i may fall apart completely.