Figure these out
Ponder these questions when you don't want to think about important stuff!
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?**What do chickens think we taste like?**What do you call a male ladybug?**What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?**When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?**Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?**Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?**Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?**Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?**Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?**Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?**If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?**Why is a bra singular and panties plural?**You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?**If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?**If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?**Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?**Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?**Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?**What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?**Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?**If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?**If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?**If you throw a cat out of the house, does it become kitty litter?**If aspirins are always "Take Two," why not increase the size of ONE?
Now, here's 2 quotes i like...and are very true
*Few women admit their age, even fewer men act theirs.
*Oh, wait, sorry, I didn't mean to look interested.