Crossover Fic: Lending a Hand (5/?), Firefly/Doctor Who
Title: Lending a hand (5/?)
Authors: goldy_dollar and hjea
Characters/Pairings: Tenth Doctor, Rose, implied Ten/Rose, Firefly crew with Mal/Inara and other canon pairings.
Disclaimer: We don’t own DW and/or Firefly. But we do secretly think that RTD is the evil genius offspring of Joss Whedon.
Spoilers/Timeline: Doctor Who: Post-Fear Her, pre-AoG/Doomsday, Firefly: post-Serenity
Summary: Wherever they’d ended up, it was definitely not Sihnon.
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1, 593
Chapter Five
For a long moment, they all stood frozen, silent. The Doctor and Rose, hands in the air, Mal, gun pointed at them, Zoe, backing him up, Jayne, grinning like it was pay day.
The Doctor drew in a deep breath, looking somewhere between amused and highly ticked off. “Believe me, Captain Reynolds, this is not something you want to be sticking your nose in.”
“No, no,” Jayne said, advancing, pain in his foot evidently forgotten. “We’re finally making some gorram sense. We ain’t had a job worth more’n a damn these last few months. Could be just the thing we need.”
“But they’re helping us!” Kaylee cried. “Wouldn’t be right to just… just steal from ‘em.”
“It is… kind of what we do,” Simon said. Kaylee shot him a fierce glare and he took a step back. “I’m just saying.”
“Just looking for some answers, is all,” Mal said, gun still pointed at the Doctor. “Don’t reckon these two have been exactly honest with us.”
“Mal, this is ridiculous,” Inara said. “You can’t honestly think that you’re going to get answers by holding them at gunpoint!”
“They could be Alliance,” Simon said slowly, folding his arms across his chest and moving to stand next to Mal. He jerked his head in the direction of the box. “This… is exactly the sort of thing they’d try and pull.”
“Simon!” Kaylee said, appalled.
“I am not Alliance,” the Doctor said, quite aghast at the insinuation. “And-hold on, got the documentation to prove it….”
“Hands,” Mal barked.
“Oh, alright, never mind,” the Doctor said, raising his hands above his head again. He rolled his eyes at the ceiling. “No wonder you lot crashed.”
“If you was Alliance,” Jayne said. “Ain’t no way you’d admit to it.”
“He’s got a point,” Simon said quietly. “And I don’t… usually say that.”
Mal nodded. “This is how it’s going to go. You’re going to tell me exactly what that is and who you are-”
“And what are you going to do if I don’t answer? Huh?” the Doctor said. “Shoot me down in cold blood? That’s your answer for everything, isn’t it? You humans. See something you don’t understand, and you go reaching for your gun. And what about Rose? What about her? Going to kill her, too? Just because you might have a shot at making a profit!”
The Doctor spat the last word, but then pulled himself together, eyes plainly holding a challenge.
“Could get River,” Zoe finally said. “See what she knows.”
“No.”
“Come on, Mal,” Inara said. “You’re being unreasonable.”
“Yeah?” Mal said, not taking his eyes off the Doctor. “Cause I’m thinking of putting my crew first?”
“And damn anyone who’s unlucky enough to get caught in the crossfire?” the Doctor demanded. “That’s a slippery slope to go down, Captain. Believe me, I know.”
Mal opened his mouth to respond, but Rose elbowed her way between the two men. “Everyone shut up!” she yelled. They all froze, and Rose took a sharp breath. “Captain, that’s our spaceship. You take that away from us, and we don’t have a way to go home. We’ll tell you what you want to know, any questions you’ve got, but please… it’s just our ship. It’s how we got here.”
Mal hesitated, and Jayne craned his head around to look at the… thing. “Don’t look like any spaceship I’ve ever seen,” he muttered.
“Shh,” Kaylee said, elbowing him in the ribs. “Cap’n?”
She looked up at him hopefully, wringing her hands. Mal sighed.
“Alright,” Mal said, clicking on the safety and holstering the gun. “But you best be tellin’ me how a piece of go se like that can fly.”
***
The Doctor stood at the head of the galley table, hands shoved into pockets. Gone was the sharp flash of anger he’d shown earlier down in the cargo bay. He was clearly still upset, but composed. Rose kept shooting him worried looks, something that did little to ease Mal’s mind.
“My ship, that blue box sitting in your cargo hold, she’s a TARDIS. We landed here by accident.”
“Sort of happens a lot,” Rose added.
“A TARDIS?” Mal said.
“Time and Relative Dimensions in Space,” Rose answered promptly, smiling when the Doctor sent her a look of surprise.
Mal blinked at them. “What?”
“Time and Relative… oh, never mind,” the Doctor said. “Takes a certain amount of wits to grasp the concept.”
Inara’s responding sneeze sounded suspiciously like a snort. Mal craned his neck around to glare at her.
“It’s bigger on the inside,” Kaylee said.
“Yes,” the Doctor said.
“But that’s impossible,” Simon said.
“Fine, it was a trick of light,” the Doctor said. “Only your imagination. All settled, then. Are we done here?”
“Doctor,” Rose hissed.
He rolled his eyes, and took his hands out of his pockets, bracing his weight on the galley table. “The thing is, the TARDIS isn’t an ordinary ship. Not even a ship at all, in the strictest sense of the word. Few things older than her in the universe. And I’m one of them.”
“Yeah, that explains it all nicely,” Rose said. “You’d think, given all the talking you do, you could… I dunno, try putting it simply.”
Simon muttered a litany of words to himself, some of them sounding like “time” and “space.” Mal shot him a look, and he closed his mouth, blinking sheepishly.
“As fascinating as this all is, Doctor,” Mal started. “We ain’t exactly touched upon how in the ‘verse that thing can fly-”
“Oh, my god,” Simon breathed, head jerking up. “It’s a time machine.”
Jayne jumped up so quickly, his chair crashed violently to the ground behind him. “That’s not possible. No living person could do that.”
“That’s right,” the Doctor said. “Only person who’d have a time machine wouldn’t be a person at all. In fact, he’d have to be an alien. A terribly advanced alien. From a galaxy far, far away… no, hang on, that’s not quite right-”
“You’re an alien?” Simon interrupted, sitting down heavily. “But I thought… the Alliance…”
“Denies the existence of aliens?” the Doctor finished. “Course it does. Blimey, government has enough trouble keeping you lot in check without adding other species to the mix. Can you imagine? Barely even managed to hold on after that big war of yours. How do you suppose it would sell aliens on top of it? Nah, no such thing. Lucky for them, be another few hundred years before you get far enough out to make contact. First contact. And by then, the Alliance will be long gone.”
Simon looked like he might be ill. He pressed the back of his hand to his mouth. “None of this makes any sense.”
“You’re telling me,” Mal said. He was having a conversation about aliens and time machines. Tianna, that last crash Serenity took had really muddled his brains.
“I believe it,” Zoe said, startling them all. “Only way to explain what we saw.”
Mal glanced at Rose. “And you… you’re… I mean…”
“Human,” Rose said. “But I’m not from here, if that’s what you mean. I was born about five-hundred years ago, on planet earth.”
Inara glanced at him worriedly. “Sit down?” she suggested.
Mal sat, but only because it seemed like the thing to do.
“So you’re not…” Simon rubbed one finger in his ear rather vigorously, as if to make certain he’d be able to properly catch every word. “You’re not… Alliance.”
“Nope,” the Doctor said. “The Alliance is just a government. Me, I’m… everywhere.”
Jayne thumped one hand on the table. “A time machine, Mal. A gorram time machine. Think of all the coin we could-”
“No,” Mal said. He looked up at the Doctor. “That ain’t our way.”
“Oh, and it was five minutes ago, was it?” the Doctor said.
“So long as the two of you get in that ship of yours and-”
“Can I see it?” Kaylee said, bouncing up from the table. There was a general murmur of agreement from the rest of the crew, even Zoe.
Mal tried to meet each of their eyes in turn. And failed. “Kaylee, I don’t reckon the Doctor wants to hold his ship up like some sort of display at the country fair.”
“Why not?” the Doctor said. “Always a bit of a culture shock, though. Still, none of you are likely to get this opportunity again. What do you say, Rose?”
“We’ll give them the grand tour, yeah?” Rose said. “Around the engine room and to the right?”
The Doctor winced. “Haven’t cleaned there, and there was that nasty spill we took last week.”
“Could go to the left,” Rose suggested, stopping at the pinched look on the Doctor’s face. “Right, there’s been heaving.”
“She’ll be right as rain, few weeks time,” the Doctor said, sounding offended. “How was I to know there was a leak?”
Rose rolled her eyes. “Up, counter-clockwise, and then north-east?”
“Are you people insane?” Mal muttered, resisting the strong temptation to rub at his temples.
The Doctor ignored him. “That’ll do, provided the TARDIS doesn’t have anything to say about it.” He faced the crew. “So, who’s up for a tour?”
One by one, Kaylee, Simon, Inara, Zoe, and Jayne raised their hands, shooting guilty looks in Mal’s direction after doing so.
“So,” Mal said. “You two are stickin’ around. That’s…”
Mal’s crew hurriedly followed the Doctor and Rose out of the cargo bay.
“That’s… great,” Mal finished, forehead dropping down to hit the table.
Authors: goldy_dollar and hjea
Characters/Pairings: Tenth Doctor, Rose, implied Ten/Rose, Firefly crew with Mal/Inara and other canon pairings.
Disclaimer: We don’t own DW and/or Firefly. But we do secretly think that RTD is the evil genius offspring of Joss Whedon.
Spoilers/Timeline: Doctor Who: Post-Fear Her, pre-AoG/Doomsday, Firefly: post-Serenity
Summary: Wherever they’d ended up, it was definitely not Sihnon.
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1, 593
Chapter Five
For a long moment, they all stood frozen, silent. The Doctor and Rose, hands in the air, Mal, gun pointed at them, Zoe, backing him up, Jayne, grinning like it was pay day.
The Doctor drew in a deep breath, looking somewhere between amused and highly ticked off. “Believe me, Captain Reynolds, this is not something you want to be sticking your nose in.”
“No, no,” Jayne said, advancing, pain in his foot evidently forgotten. “We’re finally making some gorram sense. We ain’t had a job worth more’n a damn these last few months. Could be just the thing we need.”
“But they’re helping us!” Kaylee cried. “Wouldn’t be right to just… just steal from ‘em.”
“It is… kind of what we do,” Simon said. Kaylee shot him a fierce glare and he took a step back. “I’m just saying.”
“Just looking for some answers, is all,” Mal said, gun still pointed at the Doctor. “Don’t reckon these two have been exactly honest with us.”
“Mal, this is ridiculous,” Inara said. “You can’t honestly think that you’re going to get answers by holding them at gunpoint!”
“They could be Alliance,” Simon said slowly, folding his arms across his chest and moving to stand next to Mal. He jerked his head in the direction of the box. “This… is exactly the sort of thing they’d try and pull.”
“Simon!” Kaylee said, appalled.
“I am not Alliance,” the Doctor said, quite aghast at the insinuation. “And-hold on, got the documentation to prove it….”
“Hands,” Mal barked.
“Oh, alright, never mind,” the Doctor said, raising his hands above his head again. He rolled his eyes at the ceiling. “No wonder you lot crashed.”
“If you was Alliance,” Jayne said. “Ain’t no way you’d admit to it.”
“He’s got a point,” Simon said quietly. “And I don’t… usually say that.”
Mal nodded. “This is how it’s going to go. You’re going to tell me exactly what that is and who you are-”
“And what are you going to do if I don’t answer? Huh?” the Doctor said. “Shoot me down in cold blood? That’s your answer for everything, isn’t it? You humans. See something you don’t understand, and you go reaching for your gun. And what about Rose? What about her? Going to kill her, too? Just because you might have a shot at making a profit!”
The Doctor spat the last word, but then pulled himself together, eyes plainly holding a challenge.
“Could get River,” Zoe finally said. “See what she knows.”
“No.”
“Come on, Mal,” Inara said. “You’re being unreasonable.”
“Yeah?” Mal said, not taking his eyes off the Doctor. “Cause I’m thinking of putting my crew first?”
“And damn anyone who’s unlucky enough to get caught in the crossfire?” the Doctor demanded. “That’s a slippery slope to go down, Captain. Believe me, I know.”
Mal opened his mouth to respond, but Rose elbowed her way between the two men. “Everyone shut up!” she yelled. They all froze, and Rose took a sharp breath. “Captain, that’s our spaceship. You take that away from us, and we don’t have a way to go home. We’ll tell you what you want to know, any questions you’ve got, but please… it’s just our ship. It’s how we got here.”
Mal hesitated, and Jayne craned his head around to look at the… thing. “Don’t look like any spaceship I’ve ever seen,” he muttered.
“Shh,” Kaylee said, elbowing him in the ribs. “Cap’n?”
She looked up at him hopefully, wringing her hands. Mal sighed.
“Alright,” Mal said, clicking on the safety and holstering the gun. “But you best be tellin’ me how a piece of go se like that can fly.”
***
The Doctor stood at the head of the galley table, hands shoved into pockets. Gone was the sharp flash of anger he’d shown earlier down in the cargo bay. He was clearly still upset, but composed. Rose kept shooting him worried looks, something that did little to ease Mal’s mind.
“My ship, that blue box sitting in your cargo hold, she’s a TARDIS. We landed here by accident.”
“Sort of happens a lot,” Rose added.
“A TARDIS?” Mal said.
“Time and Relative Dimensions in Space,” Rose answered promptly, smiling when the Doctor sent her a look of surprise.
Mal blinked at them. “What?”
“Time and Relative… oh, never mind,” the Doctor said. “Takes a certain amount of wits to grasp the concept.”
Inara’s responding sneeze sounded suspiciously like a snort. Mal craned his neck around to glare at her.
“It’s bigger on the inside,” Kaylee said.
“Yes,” the Doctor said.
“But that’s impossible,” Simon said.
“Fine, it was a trick of light,” the Doctor said. “Only your imagination. All settled, then. Are we done here?”
“Doctor,” Rose hissed.
He rolled his eyes, and took his hands out of his pockets, bracing his weight on the galley table. “The thing is, the TARDIS isn’t an ordinary ship. Not even a ship at all, in the strictest sense of the word. Few things older than her in the universe. And I’m one of them.”
“Yeah, that explains it all nicely,” Rose said. “You’d think, given all the talking you do, you could… I dunno, try putting it simply.”
Simon muttered a litany of words to himself, some of them sounding like “time” and “space.” Mal shot him a look, and he closed his mouth, blinking sheepishly.
“As fascinating as this all is, Doctor,” Mal started. “We ain’t exactly touched upon how in the ‘verse that thing can fly-”
“Oh, my god,” Simon breathed, head jerking up. “It’s a time machine.”
Jayne jumped up so quickly, his chair crashed violently to the ground behind him. “That’s not possible. No living person could do that.”
“That’s right,” the Doctor said. “Only person who’d have a time machine wouldn’t be a person at all. In fact, he’d have to be an alien. A terribly advanced alien. From a galaxy far, far away… no, hang on, that’s not quite right-”
“You’re an alien?” Simon interrupted, sitting down heavily. “But I thought… the Alliance…”
“Denies the existence of aliens?” the Doctor finished. “Course it does. Blimey, government has enough trouble keeping you lot in check without adding other species to the mix. Can you imagine? Barely even managed to hold on after that big war of yours. How do you suppose it would sell aliens on top of it? Nah, no such thing. Lucky for them, be another few hundred years before you get far enough out to make contact. First contact. And by then, the Alliance will be long gone.”
Simon looked like he might be ill. He pressed the back of his hand to his mouth. “None of this makes any sense.”
“You’re telling me,” Mal said. He was having a conversation about aliens and time machines. Tianna, that last crash Serenity took had really muddled his brains.
“I believe it,” Zoe said, startling them all. “Only way to explain what we saw.”
Mal glanced at Rose. “And you… you’re… I mean…”
“Human,” Rose said. “But I’m not from here, if that’s what you mean. I was born about five-hundred years ago, on planet earth.”
Inara glanced at him worriedly. “Sit down?” she suggested.
Mal sat, but only because it seemed like the thing to do.
“So you’re not…” Simon rubbed one finger in his ear rather vigorously, as if to make certain he’d be able to properly catch every word. “You’re not… Alliance.”
“Nope,” the Doctor said. “The Alliance is just a government. Me, I’m… everywhere.”
Jayne thumped one hand on the table. “A time machine, Mal. A gorram time machine. Think of all the coin we could-”
“No,” Mal said. He looked up at the Doctor. “That ain’t our way.”
“Oh, and it was five minutes ago, was it?” the Doctor said.
“So long as the two of you get in that ship of yours and-”
“Can I see it?” Kaylee said, bouncing up from the table. There was a general murmur of agreement from the rest of the crew, even Zoe.
Mal tried to meet each of their eyes in turn. And failed. “Kaylee, I don’t reckon the Doctor wants to hold his ship up like some sort of display at the country fair.”
“Why not?” the Doctor said. “Always a bit of a culture shock, though. Still, none of you are likely to get this opportunity again. What do you say, Rose?”
“We’ll give them the grand tour, yeah?” Rose said. “Around the engine room and to the right?”
The Doctor winced. “Haven’t cleaned there, and there was that nasty spill we took last week.”
“Could go to the left,” Rose suggested, stopping at the pinched look on the Doctor’s face. “Right, there’s been heaving.”
“She’ll be right as rain, few weeks time,” the Doctor said, sounding offended. “How was I to know there was a leak?”
Rose rolled her eyes. “Up, counter-clockwise, and then north-east?”
“Are you people insane?” Mal muttered, resisting the strong temptation to rub at his temples.
The Doctor ignored him. “That’ll do, provided the TARDIS doesn’t have anything to say about it.” He faced the crew. “So, who’s up for a tour?”
One by one, Kaylee, Simon, Inara, Zoe, and Jayne raised their hands, shooting guilty looks in Mal’s direction after doing so.
“So,” Mal said. “You two are stickin’ around. That’s…”
Mal’s crew hurriedly followed the Doctor and Rose out of the cargo bay.
“That’s… great,” Mal finished, forehead dropping down to hit the table.