Another, um, interactive lesson: Wank & Cum 101
Just to clarify, before anyone gets their knickers in a knot, this class is not going to be analyzing fandom wanks. Instead, we will be studying wanking of a more conventional kind. Hopefully the kind that will get your knickers moist. *warms up hands*
Warning: you must be over 17 to participate in this class; otherwise you could go blind. [I’ve already told faerie-tales, so why not an old wives tale too *smirks*].
Firstly, before we get the slide-show, we have an introduction from Brian and Justin to get the lesson up and runny. (I’m waiting for Ashton Kutchie-Koo to come and tell me “You’ve been pun'd”. [I know. I’m path-etik.]
A Puppy Dog Taile (aka Brian’s Encylopenisa of Semenology)
The misspelling of the first title is intentional (you’ll figure out why) and no pups (incl. Justin) were harmed in the making of this ficlet.
--------------
He squeezes his eyelids tight and releases a succession of noisy groans, completely out-of-sync with the beat playing through his earphones. Ribbons of cum decorate the air and fragment into pearl-like confetti on the hardwood floor, as he shudders through a mind-numbing orgasm.
“What ... the fuck!”
Justin, startled by the gruff voice behind him, scrambles awkwardly off the kitchen stool. Caught red-handed and red-cocked, the same color quickly blooms in Justin’s cheeks, as he yanks out the earphones and pulls on his pants, forgetting his crumpled underwear on the floor. Brian hides his amusement at what he assumes must have been a reflex action for Justin at home-he must have been one busy, little monkey-spanker under his parents’ roof.
“I didn’t hear you coming-I mean-you, um, said you weren’t coming home till 8,” Justin responds in a fluster, as he tentatively zips his jeans over his sensitive, slowly subsiding erection.
Brian wonders whether Justin had seen the cock-and-balls-zipper scene in that movie about Mary something, or his care was learnt from personal experience. He suppresses the urge to smirk or make a smart-ass remark. He’s not really angry, just a little pissed that Justin couldn’t wait for him to get home before spreading his penis-butter. He wants to see if he can keep the entertainment going before he gets down to business-with his cock.
“Well, I heard you coming loud and clear. I came up the stairs and when I opened the door I heard one hell of a fucking racket. Well, not exactly fucking, as it turns out.”
“I’ll clean things up,” Justin apologetically offers, recalling that accident with the duvet. He also knew that Brian was a bit of neatness freak, unless he was fucking someone, that is.
“It looks like the dance floor at Babylon with all that fucking glitter.” He looks up again to see Justin trying to slide a hard-cover book behind the kitchen utensils on the breakfast bar. “So, what’s that you’re reading, huh?”
“Oh ... I found it in your drawer.” Brian shifts across and sees a glossy dust-cover featuring a stylized phallus shooting an equally stylized, multi-colored fountain of jizz.
“And who the fuck said you could go through my drawers? This isn't your home. I’m just letting you stay here until I can figure out what to do with you.”
“I was just looking for a knife to butter a sandwich, I swear.”
“There are more interesting things you can do with butter and a sandwich.”
“Huh?”
“So, did you learn something from the book, apart from jerking off sitting on my kitchen stool?” It finally dawns on Justin that Brian wants to play, instead of eject.
“Yeah. I think so. It said something about cum coming in many different qualities and flavors.” He tries to remember what else he read, since word retention was the last thing on his mind at the time. “And that men love the taste, texture and smell of it.”
“You don’t say. Did you know a trick once took my filled rubber after I’d tied it off and stuck it in the freezer compartment? He said that when it was frozen, he wanted to warm it up a little in his mouth, and then shove it up my ass so that he could tongue me out and eat it just like a popsicle.” Justin, visualizing the scene, feels a hot twinge in his groin.
“Really?” he questions, wide-eyed, not knowing whether to believe it or not.
“What, you didn’t read the book?” Brian raises an eyebrow and presses his tongue inside his cheek. “You must have skimmed the milk a little too quickly.” Justin grins sheepishly and tries to change the subject.
“Uh, why was the book in a kitchen drawer?”
“It comes in handy for recipe ideas,” Brian says sarcastically, but Justin’s skeptical gaze needles him for another answer. “I used to keep it on the coffee table, but then I had visitors adding a little too much cream for my taste.” He subconsciously licks his lips, then spreads them into a salacious smile as he watches Justin stroke his denim-confined dick.
“You don’t like cream?” Justin teases, with rising anticipation. He moves in close enough for Brian to detect the scent of youthful-cum-mixed-with-sweat: a recipe waiting to be sampled.
“I like it. But I like it better when it’s whipped.” Justin reaches for Brian’s belt but he’s intercepted by a firm hold on his wrists and a suggestive instruction: “I’ll let you know when it’s your serve.”
He unzips and pulls down Justin’s jeans to dispense a butterscotch treat, tempting to be sucked. Brian moistens his thumb against his tongue, then rubs it around and over Justin’s sticky slit, smearing it with after-cum. He brings it back up to his lips, inhaling its scent, before sucking it into his mouth and sliding it out slowly to savor the bitter-salty-sweet spectrum.
“Mmm, tastes like escargot.”
Justin scrunches his face, knowing his mother had tried them once in a French restaurant. But the distaste in his mind is betrayed by a salivary wetness filling his mouth.
“It doesn’t, does it?”
“Well, isn’t that what little boys are made of?” He gives Justin a boyish smile and grabs him behind the neck, pulling him closer. Their mouths connect hungrily, with Brian’s tongue swirling around Justin’s to share their combined flavors, before the need for cooler air unlocks them. Brian takes a slight step back and unbuckles his belt. “Now, it’s your turn to find out what big boys are made of.”
“Somehow I’m guessing it won’t be puppy dog tails,” Justin says with a laugh, before pangs of hunger and desire bring him to his knees, ready to devour a meaty cock with relish.
*shuffles lecture notes*
I guess that must be the end of the introduction. Oh, stop whining, since we have a lot more to cover, or uncover *ahem*.
Since actual B/J cum shots are hard to cum by, we’ll just have to observe a series of orgasmic B/J faces instead.
So, who out of Randy and Gale most enjoys their fucking? Let me try that again. Who is the more convincing actor?
I hope everyone excited-I mean-settled. It’s time to meet our study-buddy, Glenn. He will be our visual aid for today, demonstrating what this lesson is, in essence, all about.
I think we’ll get him to do a few poses for us and possibly a bit of a striptease. If you don’t like it, you can go to Miss deClit’s class down the hall.
The next few slides we’ll be examining a little more closely are in a room where we can make a quick getaway-uh, I mean, which is more private, since we don’t want to be interrupted by the nasty principal, Mr Yorfyed, do we?
Who’s heard of the term “hang loose”?. It’s a popular saying among surfers. And I’m talking about waves, not the internet. It generally means “stay relaxed, take a deep breath and let it all out”.
Here we have Glenn in a surfing, or maybe I should say, snowboarding-without-a-board-pose and, boy, has he let it all [hang] out.
Hmm, I don’t think Justin Taylor did something like that when he went on that snowboarding trip to Vermont by himself. If he and Brian went together, it may have been a whole different story. Does anyone know of a good fable where Brian and Justin did snowballing of various kinds?
OK. Time for a Pop Quiz: What’s the difference between a blowjob and a snowjob?
A blowjob increases blood flow to the cock and causes it to expand.
And a snowjob … well…
I guess the beanie keeps him nice and warm. Some experts say most body heat escapes via the head. If that’s the case, a knitted item of clothing could also be worn somewhere else. [Gee, it must get cold in Toronto’s Dufferin Studios during those sex scenes.]
Now, before we get into the anatomy-cum-biology section, we should do a bit of botany. Here’s a quote by botanist a gay athlete:
The tree called Carob (Ceratonia Siliqua) has flower clusters with an exact match to the creamy and piquant scent of cum. I hope you live where you might know this. It is a tree of the warmest areas of the Middle East and California. When it flowers, my cycling can become silly circlings of a few neighborhoods, instead of a training of my athletic skills.
So, are there any Californians here who have been intoxicated by the woody scent of eau-de-cum while sitting under a carob tree?
So now let’s see how poor frost-shrunken Glenn, our study-buddy, gets warmed up.
Here he can be seen lighting a fire-I mean-generating frictional heat.
If you’ve learnt anything from previous lessons, you’ll also notice that Glenn demonstrates a great recline.
Anatomy of a cum shot.
To consolidate your learning so far, let’s examine the technical aspects of cum. Unfortunately, we won’t be doing any hands-on experiments. But here are some definitions and quotes from Brian’s Encylopenisa of Semenology, as referenced in the introduction and illustrated by our study-buddy.
After-cum: the liquified semen that is slowly finding its way out post-orgasm. It is stickier than precum, but less viscid and less opaque than semen released during orgasm. “As we lie in post-orgasmic stupor, I’m always delighted to see my man’s cock continue to drip fluids. I’ll watch the after-cum collect on his thigh, then swipe up the puddle with a finger or my tongue.”
“Butterscotch: a sweet syrup; a hard candy; used to describe both a hard cock and semen with a strong, sweet flavor. “He pulled out, aimed his still cumming cock at my face and stroked himself shotting even more of his thick butterscotch in my face.”
Cream: the choicest part; used to describe the richness of semen as well as to suggest the nourishing power of masculinity. “As the last bit of cream eased out of his extended cock, his sphincter finally gave up and released my burning dick.”
Dollop: a small serving of semen; used to describe as a topping or garnish, as in a dollop of sour cream. “My tongue caught a salty dollop as it shot from his cock.”
Droplets: small amounts of liquid, often scattered about. “The shiny droplets fountained through the sunlit air.”
Fountain: used to describe semen as spouting up from a reservoir. “When that fountain hurtled into me, into my mouth, I was utterly happy.”
Milk: to extract a liquid food; used to suggest the nourishing power of masculinity. “He took my cock in his mouth so he could drink the hot milk that was gushing out of me.” Also used to describe semen as a product of the testicles. “Don’t cry over spilled ball milk.”
Opal: a precious milky white droplet; used to describe the value of semen. “His cock with a shiny round opal of lubricant at the open slit.”
Pearl: an opalescent globule; used to describe the value of semen. “A great pearl stands out on the tip of his circumcised cock.”
Penis-butter: tasty and spreadable; used to describe semen as a rich, nutty, spreadable substance. “With my thumb, I spread that glistening drop of penis butter down the length of his shaft.” .
Relish: a tangy topping; used to describe semen as having a tangy flavor, suggesting a garnish on food. “A guy’s weiner tastes best when it’s covered in relish.”
Rivulet: a drop, globule or dollop of semen which runs slowly down the skin. “A rivulet of milky fluid ran down his balls and was caught by his lover’s tongue.” .
Strand: a long but thin rope or line used to describe semen as a delicate web. “Strand after strand filled my fist to overflowing.”
Ribbons: long, wavy lines of semen; suggestive of a prize or a present. “He could toss ribbons, he had so much testosterone.”
Shot: an ounce of liquid; used to describe the force of an ejaculation, also suggesting an intoxicating beverage. “Stroking harder, I milked out another heavy shot.”
Snowballing: to pass semen from one person’s mouth to another. “It’s a real turn on for me to think of my man salivating over my jizz, and then to taste what he’s tasting.”
Whip: a short form of whipping cream, used to describe the result of a fast wrist motion during masturbation. “I kept rampantly fucking him until he beat off some whipping cream.”
And just a couple more which weren’t directly referenced but have to be included, as you’ll see.
We all know Brian’s fondness of the nickname “Sunshine”, but here’s why:
Cumshine: a wordplay on ‘sunshine’; used to describe semen as a radiant way to start the day. “Good morning cumshine!”
And here’s how the intro/fic was inspired in the first place:
Puppy spunk: used to give semen a wild, animalistic, yet youthful quality. “His penis seemed to swell twice its size as his first shot of puppy spunk splattered against the back of my throat.”
Now that you have some terminology under your knickers, let’s see what else can be learnt from the previous lesson. If you recall, I provided some refreshments for slumberparty ed., so let’s examine what else they could mean.
Cocktail: A wordplay involving the penis and the rear-end; used to suggest that semen is intoxicating. “Here it comes, baby! Your first cum cocktail.”
Dip: used to describe the smooth, creamy consistency of semen, suggesting a party snack or finger food. “He put his finger in the semen, and brought it to his lips. ‘Hmmmm-not bad-got any chips to go with the dip?’”
I promise, you’ll never look at most innocent things the same way again. For instance, I recently bought a bottle of L’Oreal Anti-Crease Serum and had to pump it up and down a few times to warm up the dispenser. Suddenly, velvety, milk-colored fluid squirted into the air and landed on my other hand, looking just like ….. Do I need to go on?
Who’s that yawning in the back corner? I realize analytical stuff gets bor-uh-tiring, so here’s some dicks-err, pics to stimulate your jaded brains. They may not quite meet the syllabus, but I’m sure there’s potential ;))
Something I don’t think I’ve seen on Survivor.
Something I would like to see mysteriously appear in the cave on Lost.
And something I would like to lick all over like a popsicle. And if I had a penis, I would …. (this is something too decorative to cover up so let’s all risk expulsion!)
We could also have covered the scientific and nutritional/taste aspects of cum (which would take several lessons to absorb) but I think your, um, brains are saturated by now. However, I will read out one little-known fact I found.
Cum: A yummy condiment which protects the brain against oxidation ie mental decline.
Oh, wait a minute. *puts on glasses* Oops, I misread that. It actually says “cumin”. Hmm, what does cumin taste like again?
Just a couple of parting shots. Check out the bidding progress, or should I say action, of the
QaF Action-Men on eBayRipOff. It appears to have cum to a climax.
I will be offering an award (a photo of a hot, naked guy male-to-order) to the first student who can come up with 3 synonyms (other words) for cum, including one which has not been mentioned in this lesson. Before you go-or after you have finished coming-please clean up after yourselves [I think we’ll be needing Brian’s cleaning lady] and hand in your sex toys essays.
NO HOTLINKING OF DICKS - please down-load onto your hard-disk if you want to come again (why does computer language have to be so dirty *heh*).
PS: I may consider locking this particular room in a few weeks so that no wandering kiddies can get in. If you’re not an officially enrolled student, you can always do a makeup test to continue to get cock.
If anyone has missed or wishes to re-take a course, you can find them here:
‘V’101; Great Recline of the Male Empire part 1; Great Recline part 2; Great Recline part 3
Warning: you must be over 17 to participate in this class; otherwise you could go blind. [I’ve already told faerie-tales, so why not an old wives tale too *smirks*].
Firstly, before we get the slide-show, we have an introduction from Brian and Justin to get the lesson up and runny. (I’m waiting for Ashton Kutchie-Koo to come and tell me “You’ve been pun'd”. [I know. I’m path-etik.]
A Puppy Dog Taile (aka Brian’s Encylopenisa of Semenology)
The misspelling of the first title is intentional (you’ll figure out why) and no pups (incl. Justin) were harmed in the making of this ficlet.
--------------
He squeezes his eyelids tight and releases a succession of noisy groans, completely out-of-sync with the beat playing through his earphones. Ribbons of cum decorate the air and fragment into pearl-like confetti on the hardwood floor, as he shudders through a mind-numbing orgasm.
“What ... the fuck!”
Justin, startled by the gruff voice behind him, scrambles awkwardly off the kitchen stool. Caught red-handed and red-cocked, the same color quickly blooms in Justin’s cheeks, as he yanks out the earphones and pulls on his pants, forgetting his crumpled underwear on the floor. Brian hides his amusement at what he assumes must have been a reflex action for Justin at home-he must have been one busy, little monkey-spanker under his parents’ roof.
“I didn’t hear you coming-I mean-you, um, said you weren’t coming home till 8,” Justin responds in a fluster, as he tentatively zips his jeans over his sensitive, slowly subsiding erection.
Brian wonders whether Justin had seen the cock-and-balls-zipper scene in that movie about Mary something, or his care was learnt from personal experience. He suppresses the urge to smirk or make a smart-ass remark. He’s not really angry, just a little pissed that Justin couldn’t wait for him to get home before spreading his penis-butter. He wants to see if he can keep the entertainment going before he gets down to business-with his cock.
“Well, I heard you coming loud and clear. I came up the stairs and when I opened the door I heard one hell of a fucking racket. Well, not exactly fucking, as it turns out.”
“I’ll clean things up,” Justin apologetically offers, recalling that accident with the duvet. He also knew that Brian was a bit of neatness freak, unless he was fucking someone, that is.
“It looks like the dance floor at Babylon with all that fucking glitter.” He looks up again to see Justin trying to slide a hard-cover book behind the kitchen utensils on the breakfast bar. “So, what’s that you’re reading, huh?”
“Oh ... I found it in your drawer.” Brian shifts across and sees a glossy dust-cover featuring a stylized phallus shooting an equally stylized, multi-colored fountain of jizz.
“And who the fuck said you could go through my drawers? This isn't your home. I’m just letting you stay here until I can figure out what to do with you.”
“I was just looking for a knife to butter a sandwich, I swear.”
“There are more interesting things you can do with butter and a sandwich.”
“Huh?”
“So, did you learn something from the book, apart from jerking off sitting on my kitchen stool?” It finally dawns on Justin that Brian wants to play, instead of eject.
“Yeah. I think so. It said something about cum coming in many different qualities and flavors.” He tries to remember what else he read, since word retention was the last thing on his mind at the time. “And that men love the taste, texture and smell of it.”
“You don’t say. Did you know a trick once took my filled rubber after I’d tied it off and stuck it in the freezer compartment? He said that when it was frozen, he wanted to warm it up a little in his mouth, and then shove it up my ass so that he could tongue me out and eat it just like a popsicle.” Justin, visualizing the scene, feels a hot twinge in his groin.
“Really?” he questions, wide-eyed, not knowing whether to believe it or not.
“What, you didn’t read the book?” Brian raises an eyebrow and presses his tongue inside his cheek. “You must have skimmed the milk a little too quickly.” Justin grins sheepishly and tries to change the subject.
“Uh, why was the book in a kitchen drawer?”
“It comes in handy for recipe ideas,” Brian says sarcastically, but Justin’s skeptical gaze needles him for another answer. “I used to keep it on the coffee table, but then I had visitors adding a little too much cream for my taste.” He subconsciously licks his lips, then spreads them into a salacious smile as he watches Justin stroke his denim-confined dick.
“You don’t like cream?” Justin teases, with rising anticipation. He moves in close enough for Brian to detect the scent of youthful-cum-mixed-with-sweat: a recipe waiting to be sampled.
“I like it. But I like it better when it’s whipped.” Justin reaches for Brian’s belt but he’s intercepted by a firm hold on his wrists and a suggestive instruction: “I’ll let you know when it’s your serve.”
He unzips and pulls down Justin’s jeans to dispense a butterscotch treat, tempting to be sucked. Brian moistens his thumb against his tongue, then rubs it around and over Justin’s sticky slit, smearing it with after-cum. He brings it back up to his lips, inhaling its scent, before sucking it into his mouth and sliding it out slowly to savor the bitter-salty-sweet spectrum.
“Mmm, tastes like escargot.”
Justin scrunches his face, knowing his mother had tried them once in a French restaurant. But the distaste in his mind is betrayed by a salivary wetness filling his mouth.
“It doesn’t, does it?”
“Well, isn’t that what little boys are made of?” He gives Justin a boyish smile and grabs him behind the neck, pulling him closer. Their mouths connect hungrily, with Brian’s tongue swirling around Justin’s to share their combined flavors, before the need for cooler air unlocks them. Brian takes a slight step back and unbuckles his belt. “Now, it’s your turn to find out what big boys are made of.”
“Somehow I’m guessing it won’t be puppy dog tails,” Justin says with a laugh, before pangs of hunger and desire bring him to his knees, ready to devour a meaty cock with relish.
*shuffles lecture notes*
I guess that must be the end of the introduction. Oh, stop whining, since we have a lot more to cover, or uncover *ahem*.
Since actual B/J cum shots are hard to cum by, we’ll just have to observe a series of orgasmic B/J faces instead.
So, who out of Randy and Gale most enjoys their fucking? Let me try that again. Who is the more convincing actor?
I hope everyone excited-I mean-settled. It’s time to meet our study-buddy, Glenn. He will be our visual aid for today, demonstrating what this lesson is, in essence, all about.
I think we’ll get him to do a few poses for us and possibly a bit of a striptease. If you don’t like it, you can go to Miss deClit’s class down the hall.
The next few slides we’ll be examining a little more closely are in a room where we can make a quick getaway-uh, I mean, which is more private, since we don’t want to be interrupted by the nasty principal, Mr Yorfyed, do we?
Who’s heard of the term “hang loose”?. It’s a popular saying among surfers. And I’m talking about waves, not the internet. It generally means “stay relaxed, take a deep breath and let it all out”.
Here we have Glenn in a surfing, or maybe I should say, snowboarding-without-a-board-pose and, boy, has he let it all [hang] out.
Hmm, I don’t think Justin Taylor did something like that when he went on that snowboarding trip to Vermont by himself. If he and Brian went together, it may have been a whole different story. Does anyone know of a good fable where Brian and Justin did snowballing of various kinds?
OK. Time for a Pop Quiz: What’s the difference between a blowjob and a snowjob?
A blowjob increases blood flow to the cock and causes it to expand.
And a snowjob … well…
I guess the beanie keeps him nice and warm. Some experts say most body heat escapes via the head. If that’s the case, a knitted item of clothing could also be worn somewhere else. [Gee, it must get cold in Toronto’s Dufferin Studios during those sex scenes.]
Now, before we get into the anatomy-cum-biology section, we should do a bit of botany. Here’s a quote by botanist a gay athlete:
The tree called Carob (Ceratonia Siliqua) has flower clusters with an exact match to the creamy and piquant scent of cum. I hope you live where you might know this. It is a tree of the warmest areas of the Middle East and California. When it flowers, my cycling can become silly circlings of a few neighborhoods, instead of a training of my athletic skills.
So, are there any Californians here who have been intoxicated by the woody scent of eau-de-cum while sitting under a carob tree?
So now let’s see how poor frost-shrunken Glenn, our study-buddy, gets warmed up.
Here he can be seen lighting a fire-I mean-generating frictional heat.
If you’ve learnt anything from previous lessons, you’ll also notice that Glenn demonstrates a great recline.
Anatomy of a cum shot.
To consolidate your learning so far, let’s examine the technical aspects of cum. Unfortunately, we won’t be doing any hands-on experiments. But here are some definitions and quotes from Brian’s Encylopenisa of Semenology, as referenced in the introduction and illustrated by our study-buddy.
After-cum: the liquified semen that is slowly finding its way out post-orgasm. It is stickier than precum, but less viscid and less opaque than semen released during orgasm. “As we lie in post-orgasmic stupor, I’m always delighted to see my man’s cock continue to drip fluids. I’ll watch the after-cum collect on his thigh, then swipe up the puddle with a finger or my tongue.”
“Butterscotch: a sweet syrup; a hard candy; used to describe both a hard cock and semen with a strong, sweet flavor. “He pulled out, aimed his still cumming cock at my face and stroked himself shotting even more of his thick butterscotch in my face.”
Cream: the choicest part; used to describe the richness of semen as well as to suggest the nourishing power of masculinity. “As the last bit of cream eased out of his extended cock, his sphincter finally gave up and released my burning dick.”
Dollop: a small serving of semen; used to describe as a topping or garnish, as in a dollop of sour cream. “My tongue caught a salty dollop as it shot from his cock.”
Droplets: small amounts of liquid, often scattered about. “The shiny droplets fountained through the sunlit air.”
Fountain: used to describe semen as spouting up from a reservoir. “When that fountain hurtled into me, into my mouth, I was utterly happy.”
Milk: to extract a liquid food; used to suggest the nourishing power of masculinity. “He took my cock in his mouth so he could drink the hot milk that was gushing out of me.” Also used to describe semen as a product of the testicles. “Don’t cry over spilled ball milk.”
Opal: a precious milky white droplet; used to describe the value of semen. “His cock with a shiny round opal of lubricant at the open slit.”
Pearl: an opalescent globule; used to describe the value of semen. “A great pearl stands out on the tip of his circumcised cock.”
Penis-butter: tasty and spreadable; used to describe semen as a rich, nutty, spreadable substance. “With my thumb, I spread that glistening drop of penis butter down the length of his shaft.” .
Relish: a tangy topping; used to describe semen as having a tangy flavor, suggesting a garnish on food. “A guy’s weiner tastes best when it’s covered in relish.”
Rivulet: a drop, globule or dollop of semen which runs slowly down the skin. “A rivulet of milky fluid ran down his balls and was caught by his lover’s tongue.” .
Strand: a long but thin rope or line used to describe semen as a delicate web. “Strand after strand filled my fist to overflowing.”
Ribbons: long, wavy lines of semen; suggestive of a prize or a present. “He could toss ribbons, he had so much testosterone.”
Shot: an ounce of liquid; used to describe the force of an ejaculation, also suggesting an intoxicating beverage. “Stroking harder, I milked out another heavy shot.”
Snowballing: to pass semen from one person’s mouth to another. “It’s a real turn on for me to think of my man salivating over my jizz, and then to taste what he’s tasting.”
Whip: a short form of whipping cream, used to describe the result of a fast wrist motion during masturbation. “I kept rampantly fucking him until he beat off some whipping cream.”
And just a couple more which weren’t directly referenced but have to be included, as you’ll see.
We all know Brian’s fondness of the nickname “Sunshine”, but here’s why:
Cumshine: a wordplay on ‘sunshine’; used to describe semen as a radiant way to start the day. “Good morning cumshine!”
And here’s how the intro/fic was inspired in the first place:
Puppy spunk: used to give semen a wild, animalistic, yet youthful quality. “His penis seemed to swell twice its size as his first shot of puppy spunk splattered against the back of my throat.”
Now that you have some terminology under your knickers, let’s see what else can be learnt from the previous lesson. If you recall, I provided some refreshments for slumberparty ed., so let’s examine what else they could mean.
Cocktail: A wordplay involving the penis and the rear-end; used to suggest that semen is intoxicating. “Here it comes, baby! Your first cum cocktail.”
Dip: used to describe the smooth, creamy consistency of semen, suggesting a party snack or finger food. “He put his finger in the semen, and brought it to his lips. ‘Hmmmm-not bad-got any chips to go with the dip?’”
I promise, you’ll never look at most innocent things the same way again. For instance, I recently bought a bottle of L’Oreal Anti-Crease Serum and had to pump it up and down a few times to warm up the dispenser. Suddenly, velvety, milk-colored fluid squirted into the air and landed on my other hand, looking just like ….. Do I need to go on?
Who’s that yawning in the back corner? I realize analytical stuff gets bor-uh-tiring, so here’s some dicks-err, pics to stimulate your jaded brains. They may not quite meet the syllabus, but I’m sure there’s potential ;))
Something I don’t think I’ve seen on Survivor.
Something I would like to see mysteriously appear in the cave on Lost.
And something I would like to lick all over like a popsicle. And if I had a penis, I would …. (this is something too decorative to cover up so let’s all risk expulsion!)
We could also have covered the scientific and nutritional/taste aspects of cum (which would take several lessons to absorb) but I think your, um, brains are saturated by now. However, I will read out one little-known fact I found.
Cum: A yummy condiment which protects the brain against oxidation ie mental decline.
Oh, wait a minute. *puts on glasses* Oops, I misread that. It actually says “cumin”. Hmm, what does cumin taste like again?
Just a couple of parting shots. Check out the bidding progress, or should I say action, of the
QaF Action-Men on eBayRipOff. It appears to have cum to a climax.
I will be offering an award (a photo of a hot, naked guy male-to-order) to the first student who can come up with 3 synonyms (other words) for cum, including one which has not been mentioned in this lesson. Before you go-or after you have finished coming-please clean up after yourselves [I think we’ll be needing Brian’s cleaning lady] and hand in your sex toys essays.
NO HOTLINKING OF DICKS - please down-load onto your hard-disk if you want to come again (why does computer language have to be so dirty *heh*).
PS: I may consider locking this particular room in a few weeks so that no wandering kiddies can get in. If you’re not an officially enrolled student, you can always do a makeup test to continue to get cock.
If anyone has missed or wishes to re-take a course, you can find them here:
‘V’101; Great Recline of the Male Empire part 1; Great Recline part 2; Great Recline part 3