Cory
Its weird how the stupidest things make you think of the one you love... A song, the fact that the lead singer of your fave band is the same age. A guitar... Someone who looks like him, someone who acts like him... Its been a year and I'm just starting to be able to think of something other than him for a stretch of time longer than 10 minutes, but I'm still pulled back by a weird phrase from a friend that reminds me of him. Its been a year and I still cry myself to sleep cuz I can't just sit there and watch him play guitar, wait patiently for him to hit it big so I can hear his voice again. Write a song that we were working for and try to contact him cuz I wanna know what he thinks more than every other person in the whole wide world. Write a song completely without him and I still wanna know what he thinks. Life will never be the same again, will it? Will this empty hole ever fill? I haven't done more than hug a guy OR a girl since the last time I saw him. I've withdrawn into myself and I can't seem to get out. Going outside takes too much effort. Getting up in the morning takes too much effort. Do you think he's dead? I wouldn't know, I never read the obituaries and noone would tell me if they'd seen it. Do you think he's still ok? Everytime I see the tower I wonder if he's still working there... Or the college he went too. Every bar I pass I wonder if he's got a job in there instead now. Is he still playing his guitar? Does he still look burnt out all the time? Does he ever think of me? does he still get up at two in the afternoon and goto bed at 5am? Why hasn't he added me to msn, or responded to my emails? Did he ever get an apartment? Is he alright... someone please just tell me he's alright. I can't even begin to imagine feeling any other way, even 50 years from now... Y'know, I can't remember what colour his eyes are? I cry over that some nights, wondering why I was paying so much more attention to what he was saying or how his touch felt that the colour of his eyes. Shouldn't I know that? Am I horrible because I don't? -WILL- this feeling ever go away? Did he ever find an apartment? Does he have roomies now? Do they complain about his guitar playing? Its good, but its loud. I mean, when you can sit on the porch (rockin' the stoop *giggles*) across the street and hear it, its loud... Why wouldn't he even give me a chance? I mean, I know I can be childish at times, but its only 5 1/2 years. That's not an earth shattering difference. Does he have a girlfriend? I almost hope he does, as long as she's good to him. I didn't measure up to par, and he deserves someone who does... Is she prettier than me? Older? More wise? Wittier? I hope she realizes the gem she's found. One in a million... The most wonderful man on the face of this planet. Be nice to him, whoever gets to keep him.