Fic: The Boy Is Gone 16/20
TITLE: The Boy Is Gone 16/20
AUTHOR: Erin Giles
DISCLAIMER: Torchwood and its characters are property of the BBC. The Family Jones is of my own creation.
RATING: PG-15
PAIRINGS/CHARACTERS: Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, OC's
SUMMARY: The Rift has never been the most stable influence in Ianto Jones’ life but when children in Cardiff start disappearing all over the city, Ianto’s family life crashes rather dramatically with Torchwood.
AUTHOR NOTES: This is the sequel to my stories, “Family Matters” and “A Nostalgic Yearning” and is the finale in the series “Footprints in the Sand”. It will not make sense unless you have read these. Set post Exit Wounds.
Apologies for the long delay. I could make excuses about essays and real life stuff but you don't want to hear that. So on with the fic...
| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 |
Sunday 17th August 10.24am
“He’s gone.”
Jack came out into the hospital corridor in a fluster of panic, looking up and down the hallway as if Ianto was going to magically appear before him.
“Jack?” One of the nurses caught him by the arm as he came haring towards the nurses’ station. “What is it?”
“Ianto Jones.” Jack pointed wildly down the corridor with one hand while he tried to catch his breath. “He’s gone. He’s not in his room anymore. Someone’s taken him.”
“Calm down.” The nurse reprimanded. “He won’t have gone far.” She tried to placate him as she moved round the back of the desk, picking up the phone.
“I might have an inkling of where he’ll be.” The nurse gave a cheery smile to Jack as she entered an internal number which rung twice before someone picked up.
“Oh hello Margaret, it’s Debbie from the Mitchell Ward.” There was a brief pause where pleasantries were exchanged. “I was wondering if you’ve got a patient of mine down there.” The nurse gave a little titter of a laugh that made Jack’s blood boil slightly. How could she find time to laugh when Ianto was missing, possibly taken by somebody or something?
“No, it’s fine. I’ll send someone down for him.” The nurse hung the phone up before beaming up at Jack.
“He’s down in paediatrics visiting his niece. It’s usually where we find him when he’s gone walk-a-about.” The nurse supplied as Jack felt the lead weight lifting from his stomach.
He found Ianto sat in a chair beside a little plastic box. He had on his dressing gown over his hospital pyjamas, which Ria must have fetched from home since Jack hadn’t had the time or the energy. They’d said Ianto could go home tomorrow which Jack was almost grateful for even if he had been in the ICU only a couple of days ago. He still didn’t look the picture of health but he looked a darn sight closer to life than he had two days ago. Jack wasn’t getting the picture of Ianto lain in amongst the rubble of that warehouse in Barry out of his head anytime soon. It lingered there beside Toshiko lying prone in the medical bay and the remains of Owen that he had retrieved - alone.
He stood on the other side of the ward door as he watched Ianto’s bruised and scraped fingers clutching at a tiny hand through the side of the plastic box. It took him a moment to realise that it wasn’t Ianto doing the clutching though. Tiny fingers were wrapped round one of Ianto’s fingers, refusing to let go.
And again Jack was in the past, reminded of Ianto lying prone on the hospital bed, all those wires going in and out of him like they were the only things holding him together. Jack could remember that surge of relief though as he sat there holding Ianto’s hand, willing him back to consciousness, when Ianto had grabbed at Jack’s hand, however weakly, and held on, refusing to let go. Ianto had been lacking the pink bonnet though, which Jack thought would maybe have made him look even more adorable, but Jack was happy to see him in that dressing gown.
Jack eventually pulled himself together enough to enter the room.
“Thought you’d run away.” Jack commented as he came to stand behind Ianto, staring down at the little baby girl in the plastic box. It almost took Jack’s breath away as baby blue eyes blinked up at him, filled with a curiosity that Jack still found remarkable.
“Not really one for the running at the moment. Give me a few weeks though and I’ll be back to running circles round you.” Ianto teased, not taking his eyes off his niece who was still staring up at Jack.
“Do you want to know who the big scary man in the blue coat is?” Ianto asked the baby through the Perspex.
“This is your other Uncle. Although he’s not technically your Uncle.” Ianto frowned. “I’m sure your big brother will be able to explain it to you better.”
Jack smiled as he watched Ianto talking to his niece.
“Has Ria named her yet?” Jack asked.
“She decided to name her Rona, after Mam.” Ianto supplied, his voice catching at the end of the sentence before he was turning towards Jack, pulling himself painfully to his feet.
“Would you like to meet Rona Tegan Lloyd?” Ianto asked, already opening up the box to gain access to his niece. He was lifting her carefully out the box before Jack had a chance to protest.
“Sit down in the chair and take the blanket.” Ianto encouraged. Jack did as he was told without hesitation.
When Ianto handed Jack Rona a sudden overwhelming parental instinct towards the child took over him before he pushed it back down into the depths of his stomach. He couldn’t stop it surging forth again though as Ianto wrapped the blanket round her, but not before one of her tiny arms broke free and grabbed onto the lapel of Jack’s greatcoat. She was still staring up at him with wide blue eyes full of innocent curiosity for the world.
This, Jack thought, this is why we fight. Not for us but for every miracle, every day, just like this one.
“Hello.” Jack whispered hoarsely as he looked down at the small child in his arms. He felt Ianto move behind him and looked up to find him shuffling slowly towards the exit.
“Ianto?” Jack called after him, sudden worry rising up in him again.
“I’m going back to my bed.” Ianto replied tiredly. “Stay as long as you want.” Ianto added, smiling when Jack looked like he was going to follow him. Jack nodded, watching Ianto’s retreating back before the door swung shut behind him. He saw him collaring a nurse, presumable to escort him back up to the ward. Jack was grateful; Ianto still looked unsteady on his feet.
Jack turned back to Rona who was still watching him intently like he was the most fascinating thing in the world, and he probably was to her at this moment in time, the only thing in her world.
“That’s your Uncle Ianto.” Jack told her quietly. “He’ll tell you fantastic stories and make it better when you get hurt and love you to bits no matter what you do, because that’s the kind of man he is.”
Jack rocked Rona to sleep, his eyes continuing to gaze down at the small miracle in his arms as he kept on talking about Ianto, about all the things he had done, all the reasons Jack loved him because Jack had to tell someone; someone had to know of the miracle that was Ianto Jones.
“And that’s why we love him.” Jack finished, his gaze now on the far wall, looking but not seeing the paintings of Winnie the Pooh characters on it as Rona slept peacefully in his arms.
“That’s why we love him.” Jack repeated, a smile creeping onto his face as tears glistened in his eyes.
Sunday 17th August 3.07pm
Ianto stirred slightly when he felt someone tugging on the edge of his bed sheets. He drifted in that place between awake and asleep in a happy haze of drug-induced drowsiness as he listened to the voices floating round the room.
“Oi you! Down from there otherwise you’ll wake your Uncle.”
“But I wanna play with my trains in the mountains.”
“Well you’ll just have to play in the valleys on the floor at the moment.”
“But I wanna play with Uncy Yan.”
“Well you’ll have to make do with me for the moment. How about we build a mountain?”
Ianto heard the clattering of Lego bricks against each other.
“Or a castle? Or something?”
“Can we build a castle? Can we build King Ianto’s castle? Where Princesses Rhiannon stays with Prince Finn and Sir Jack?”
There was a brief pause as Ianto’s eyes fluttered open, trying to grow accustomed to the sunlight streaming in through the window. He caught a glimpse of the incredulous look on Rhys’ face before he was nodding.
“Yup, course we can mate.”
“You forgot someone.” Ianto uttered, a little hoarsely as Finn turned to look at his Uncle, a handful of Lego bricks in each hand.
“Who?”
“There’s a new princess in the castle now.” Ianto said rather weakly.
“And she can come on adventures with us too!” Finn enthused, bouncing to his feet and dropping the Lego bricks.
“Tell us a story Uncy Yan!” Finn enthused, trying to crawl up onto Ianto’s bed again.
“Maybe later trouble, I’m a bit tired at the moment. Maybe Uncle Jack will tell you one later.” Ianto said round a yawn.
“Why don’t you make that castle and then you can use it later on as part of the story?” Rhys encouraged, lifting Finn up and away from the bed, depositing him back down by the Lego bricks where he quite happily started building walls for his castle.
“Where is everyone?” Ianto asked, shifting slightly in the bed, trying to sit up. Rhys sat himself down in the visitor’s chair.
“Gwen and Jack are off chasing things and your sister’s got an appointment with the Doctor about the baby. I said I’d watch this one.” Rhys explained, titling his head towards Finn who was trying to design a working drawbridge with Lego.
“And me.” Ianto added as he laid his head back against his pillow. Rhys glanced back at Ianto, a slight smile on his face. It was like Ianto knew what both Gwen and Jack had said to him before they’d left in a swirl of flapping coats.
“And you.” Rhys nodded, gaze not wavering from Ianto’s.
“You alright now?” Rhys asked, leaning forward so his elbows rested on his knees and his hands clasped in front of him. Ianto frowned at him, before looking down almost incredulously at his scraped knuckles and plastered arm.
Rhys looked bashful. “I mean better than your were, better for being back, here, with Jack and that I mean, like not wherever else you were. Shut up, Rhys!” Rhys' last sentence sounded like a poor imitation of Gwen's voice.
Ianto let out a slight chuckle. “I’m better than I was.” Ianto assured Rhys.
“You looked dead when we found you.” Rhys clarified. “Didn’t think Jack had it in him to be that upset. He just stopped functioning, clung onto this one,” he indicated Finn who was engrossed in his building task. “And wouldn’t let go.”
Ianto was almost surprised at this revelation. He’d presumed Jack would have gone into full leader mode, barking orders at scared paramedics and firemen.
“He really cares about you.” Rhys said softly, watching Ianto for a long moment.
Ianto swallowed slightly, turning away from Rhys. “I know.”
Rhys frowned, continuing to watch Ianto as he started to play with the fraying edge of the hospital blanket. Rhys would have thought Ianto would be happy to hear that Jack cared for him, he hadn’t expected the almost nervous demeanour Ianto was now showing to be his reaction.
“Rhys?” A small voice distracted Rhys, tugging on his sleeve. “Can you help me please?” Finn asked as he presented Rhys with a hand full of bricks.
“Course I can mate.” Rhys said getting up from the chair and lowering himself onto the floor beside Finn. It didn’t stop him glancing over at Ianto every minute or so, frowning in contemplation as he watched the other Welshman slipping back into a doze.
Monday 18th August 2.19am
Ianto turned over in bed to find Jack slouched in the visitor’s chair, asleep. He was startled somewhat at the sight, hadn’t seen Jack since - he glanced at his watch on the bedside table - yesterday morning. Jack’s head was slouched forward on his chest, arms folded as if he was some cartoon guard fallen asleep on the job. All he needed was a hat falling over his eyes. Ianto didn’t know why Jack had found his way back to Ianto’s bedside at some godforsaken hour of the morning. Ianto didn’t need babysitting, he had nurses to do that, and Rhys as well apparently.
“You don’t have to worry about me.” Ianto whispered to the sleeping form. Jack didn’t so much as stir as Ianto moved his pillows slightly so he could lie down and still see Jack, watching him intently.
“I’m still here, still alive, for now.” Ianto continued. “You told me once that I didn’t have to be brave around you, you know the same applies to you.” Ianto didn’t know if he wanted Jack to wake up and listen, or if it would be easier for him just to sleep through his explanation.
“I know that was you who got lost in the Rift from another time and another place. I kept catching glimpses every so often when I was wandering around alone. God I was so alone.” The last sentence came out a breathy whisper. “It felt like I was there forever, just wandering around without direction or hope, like I was five years old again and I’d got lost in the supermarket, wandering down unfamiliar aisles with strangers, only there was no one there. Sometimes it was like Canary Wharf though - not the fire, but the screaming, just the endless screaming for salvation in the dark. I thought I’d go mad with it.” Ianto let out a sigh.
“Mam was there at first, Tosh, Owen. Lisa too. And it was like I had a different life, but one without you. Then they were gone as well, and then there was just that boy, just you every so often when I felt like giving up, a flash of blue eyes out of the corner of my eye and I knew I had to get back to you.”
“A candle in the dark.” The words slurred slightly from Jack’s tired lips before he was opening his eyes to take in Ianto. He gave a tentative half smile, almost apologetic for hearing Ianto as he pulled himself up slightly, stretching his back.
“It was you wasn’t it?” Ianto asked, not looking at Jack now, but at his hands as Jack’s clasped over them. Jack shook his head.
“It wasn’t exactly me.” Jack answered truthfully, frowning slightly as if the real explanation confused him.
“It was an echo of a future me or a past me.”
“I don’t understand.” Ianto confessed, finally looking up at Jack.
“You know how people talk about an inner child, about how you’re only as old as you feel?”
Ianto nodded, wondering what this had to do with the boy from the rift.
“He was a warning, a warning from my future self, a projection of my inner child telling me not to lose it, telling me that one day I was going to lose everyone and I had to learn not to lose myself. A warning of what’s to come.”
“So your telling me that you kidnapped me and half of the children of Cardiff because you didn’t want you to get depressed?” Ianto asked scathingly.
“Sort of.” Jack frowned, annoyed that his theory had been debunked. “Let’s call him my evil twin.”
Ianto let out a titter of a laugh before if developed into full-blown chuckling.
“Only you Jack Harkness.” Ianto said breathlessly.
“Only the little boy wasn’t me.” Jack said after a moment of just watching Ianto. Ianto frowned.
“But you just said-“ Ianto looked thoroughly confused now.
“He was you, and Gray, and everyone I’ve ever lost to the Rift. When I looked in his eyes I didn’t see a reflection of myself staring back I saw all my failings, all my undoing’s. A child for everyone I’ve lost.” Jack’s voice was barely above a whisper now as Ianto pulled himself into a sitting position on the bed, tugging on Jack’s hands and finally the lapels of his coat to pull him closer. Ianto didn’t say anything, just pulled Jack down into a long soothing kiss. When they parted there were tears wet on Jack’s face that he wiped at hastily, trying to put on a brave face.
“You don’t have to be brave around me.” Ianto said softly, a hand reaching up to cradle Jack’s cheek, causing Jack to huff out another sob before he lowered his head onto Ianto’s lap without encouragement, just taking a moment to bask in the nearness of Ianto as long fingers ran gently through his hair.
Monday 18th August 6.02am
The Hub was dead. There didn’t even seem to be the whirring of the fans that kept the machines cool. Usually at this time in the morning Ianto would be arriving, brewing his first pot of coffee for the day. There would be the smell of freshly showered Welshman, as well as the lingering smell of sex if Ianto had stayed the night. Tosh would usually not be far behind, tapping away productively at keyboards. Usually the chuckle of laughter as her and Ianto exchanged views on last nights Strictly Come Dancing, coffee cups clicking together and the rustle of digestive biscuit wrappers.
Sometimes the sound of a hung-over Owen moaning could be heard, still passed out on the couch from where Ianto had dumped him the night before after picking him up at 3 in the morning from some street corner. Owen usually made it home, but there were rare occasions when he had gotten so drunk he forgot where he lived. Ianto always seemed to be the one he called for a lift home though, which was odd. Sometimes the medic was grumbling for a whole other reason - usually due to being up all night with nothing but an alien corpse for company.
Phones were always ringing, and the whisper of Gwen and Tosh gossiping like schoolgirls could be heard by mid-morning. The shuffle of paperwork, the clatter of dropped pens and instruments, the curses in both Welsh and English over something so trivial as someone using all the post-it notes for things not entirely work related.
There was nothing now. No sound anywhere, least of all the morgue where Jack was now stood next to drawer 37. He swallowed past the lump in his throat as he looked down at the form of his frozen brother, suspended in time and space until Jack figured out what to do with him; if he ever figured out what to do with him. His fingers twitched over the defrost button but nothing would have changed.
Jack would still feel guilty for letting go like he had so many years ago and Gray would still not forgive him. He was all that remained of Jack’s family now - of his blood one at any rate, and oddly he was the one that would outlast them all.
“Apart from me Jack, you have to keep me alive.”
On to Part 17
AUTHOR: Erin Giles
DISCLAIMER: Torchwood and its characters are property of the BBC. The Family Jones is of my own creation.
RATING: PG-15
PAIRINGS/CHARACTERS: Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys, OC's
SUMMARY: The Rift has never been the most stable influence in Ianto Jones’ life but when children in Cardiff start disappearing all over the city, Ianto’s family life crashes rather dramatically with Torchwood.
AUTHOR NOTES: This is the sequel to my stories, “Family Matters” and “A Nostalgic Yearning” and is the finale in the series “Footprints in the Sand”. It will not make sense unless you have read these. Set post Exit Wounds.
Apologies for the long delay. I could make excuses about essays and real life stuff but you don't want to hear that. So on with the fic...
| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 |
Sunday 17th August 10.24am
“He’s gone.”
Jack came out into the hospital corridor in a fluster of panic, looking up and down the hallway as if Ianto was going to magically appear before him.
“Jack?” One of the nurses caught him by the arm as he came haring towards the nurses’ station. “What is it?”
“Ianto Jones.” Jack pointed wildly down the corridor with one hand while he tried to catch his breath. “He’s gone. He’s not in his room anymore. Someone’s taken him.”
“Calm down.” The nurse reprimanded. “He won’t have gone far.” She tried to placate him as she moved round the back of the desk, picking up the phone.
“I might have an inkling of where he’ll be.” The nurse gave a cheery smile to Jack as she entered an internal number which rung twice before someone picked up.
“Oh hello Margaret, it’s Debbie from the Mitchell Ward.” There was a brief pause where pleasantries were exchanged. “I was wondering if you’ve got a patient of mine down there.” The nurse gave a little titter of a laugh that made Jack’s blood boil slightly. How could she find time to laugh when Ianto was missing, possibly taken by somebody or something?
“No, it’s fine. I’ll send someone down for him.” The nurse hung the phone up before beaming up at Jack.
“He’s down in paediatrics visiting his niece. It’s usually where we find him when he’s gone walk-a-about.” The nurse supplied as Jack felt the lead weight lifting from his stomach.
He found Ianto sat in a chair beside a little plastic box. He had on his dressing gown over his hospital pyjamas, which Ria must have fetched from home since Jack hadn’t had the time or the energy. They’d said Ianto could go home tomorrow which Jack was almost grateful for even if he had been in the ICU only a couple of days ago. He still didn’t look the picture of health but he looked a darn sight closer to life than he had two days ago. Jack wasn’t getting the picture of Ianto lain in amongst the rubble of that warehouse in Barry out of his head anytime soon. It lingered there beside Toshiko lying prone in the medical bay and the remains of Owen that he had retrieved - alone.
He stood on the other side of the ward door as he watched Ianto’s bruised and scraped fingers clutching at a tiny hand through the side of the plastic box. It took him a moment to realise that it wasn’t Ianto doing the clutching though. Tiny fingers were wrapped round one of Ianto’s fingers, refusing to let go.
And again Jack was in the past, reminded of Ianto lying prone on the hospital bed, all those wires going in and out of him like they were the only things holding him together. Jack could remember that surge of relief though as he sat there holding Ianto’s hand, willing him back to consciousness, when Ianto had grabbed at Jack’s hand, however weakly, and held on, refusing to let go. Ianto had been lacking the pink bonnet though, which Jack thought would maybe have made him look even more adorable, but Jack was happy to see him in that dressing gown.
Jack eventually pulled himself together enough to enter the room.
“Thought you’d run away.” Jack commented as he came to stand behind Ianto, staring down at the little baby girl in the plastic box. It almost took Jack’s breath away as baby blue eyes blinked up at him, filled with a curiosity that Jack still found remarkable.
“Not really one for the running at the moment. Give me a few weeks though and I’ll be back to running circles round you.” Ianto teased, not taking his eyes off his niece who was still staring up at Jack.
“Do you want to know who the big scary man in the blue coat is?” Ianto asked the baby through the Perspex.
“This is your other Uncle. Although he’s not technically your Uncle.” Ianto frowned. “I’m sure your big brother will be able to explain it to you better.”
Jack smiled as he watched Ianto talking to his niece.
“Has Ria named her yet?” Jack asked.
“She decided to name her Rona, after Mam.” Ianto supplied, his voice catching at the end of the sentence before he was turning towards Jack, pulling himself painfully to his feet.
“Would you like to meet Rona Tegan Lloyd?” Ianto asked, already opening up the box to gain access to his niece. He was lifting her carefully out the box before Jack had a chance to protest.
“Sit down in the chair and take the blanket.” Ianto encouraged. Jack did as he was told without hesitation.
When Ianto handed Jack Rona a sudden overwhelming parental instinct towards the child took over him before he pushed it back down into the depths of his stomach. He couldn’t stop it surging forth again though as Ianto wrapped the blanket round her, but not before one of her tiny arms broke free and grabbed onto the lapel of Jack’s greatcoat. She was still staring up at him with wide blue eyes full of innocent curiosity for the world.
This, Jack thought, this is why we fight. Not for us but for every miracle, every day, just like this one.
“Hello.” Jack whispered hoarsely as he looked down at the small child in his arms. He felt Ianto move behind him and looked up to find him shuffling slowly towards the exit.
“Ianto?” Jack called after him, sudden worry rising up in him again.
“I’m going back to my bed.” Ianto replied tiredly. “Stay as long as you want.” Ianto added, smiling when Jack looked like he was going to follow him. Jack nodded, watching Ianto’s retreating back before the door swung shut behind him. He saw him collaring a nurse, presumable to escort him back up to the ward. Jack was grateful; Ianto still looked unsteady on his feet.
Jack turned back to Rona who was still watching him intently like he was the most fascinating thing in the world, and he probably was to her at this moment in time, the only thing in her world.
“That’s your Uncle Ianto.” Jack told her quietly. “He’ll tell you fantastic stories and make it better when you get hurt and love you to bits no matter what you do, because that’s the kind of man he is.”
Jack rocked Rona to sleep, his eyes continuing to gaze down at the small miracle in his arms as he kept on talking about Ianto, about all the things he had done, all the reasons Jack loved him because Jack had to tell someone; someone had to know of the miracle that was Ianto Jones.
“And that’s why we love him.” Jack finished, his gaze now on the far wall, looking but not seeing the paintings of Winnie the Pooh characters on it as Rona slept peacefully in his arms.
“That’s why we love him.” Jack repeated, a smile creeping onto his face as tears glistened in his eyes.
Sunday 17th August 3.07pm
Ianto stirred slightly when he felt someone tugging on the edge of his bed sheets. He drifted in that place between awake and asleep in a happy haze of drug-induced drowsiness as he listened to the voices floating round the room.
“Oi you! Down from there otherwise you’ll wake your Uncle.”
“But I wanna play with my trains in the mountains.”
“Well you’ll just have to play in the valleys on the floor at the moment.”
“But I wanna play with Uncy Yan.”
“Well you’ll have to make do with me for the moment. How about we build a mountain?”
Ianto heard the clattering of Lego bricks against each other.
“Or a castle? Or something?”
“Can we build a castle? Can we build King Ianto’s castle? Where Princesses Rhiannon stays with Prince Finn and Sir Jack?”
There was a brief pause as Ianto’s eyes fluttered open, trying to grow accustomed to the sunlight streaming in through the window. He caught a glimpse of the incredulous look on Rhys’ face before he was nodding.
“Yup, course we can mate.”
“You forgot someone.” Ianto uttered, a little hoarsely as Finn turned to look at his Uncle, a handful of Lego bricks in each hand.
“Who?”
“There’s a new princess in the castle now.” Ianto said rather weakly.
“And she can come on adventures with us too!” Finn enthused, bouncing to his feet and dropping the Lego bricks.
“Tell us a story Uncy Yan!” Finn enthused, trying to crawl up onto Ianto’s bed again.
“Maybe later trouble, I’m a bit tired at the moment. Maybe Uncle Jack will tell you one later.” Ianto said round a yawn.
“Why don’t you make that castle and then you can use it later on as part of the story?” Rhys encouraged, lifting Finn up and away from the bed, depositing him back down by the Lego bricks where he quite happily started building walls for his castle.
“Where is everyone?” Ianto asked, shifting slightly in the bed, trying to sit up. Rhys sat himself down in the visitor’s chair.
“Gwen and Jack are off chasing things and your sister’s got an appointment with the Doctor about the baby. I said I’d watch this one.” Rhys explained, titling his head towards Finn who was trying to design a working drawbridge with Lego.
“And me.” Ianto added as he laid his head back against his pillow. Rhys glanced back at Ianto, a slight smile on his face. It was like Ianto knew what both Gwen and Jack had said to him before they’d left in a swirl of flapping coats.
“And you.” Rhys nodded, gaze not wavering from Ianto’s.
“You alright now?” Rhys asked, leaning forward so his elbows rested on his knees and his hands clasped in front of him. Ianto frowned at him, before looking down almost incredulously at his scraped knuckles and plastered arm.
Rhys looked bashful. “I mean better than your were, better for being back, here, with Jack and that I mean, like not wherever else you were. Shut up, Rhys!” Rhys' last sentence sounded like a poor imitation of Gwen's voice.
Ianto let out a slight chuckle. “I’m better than I was.” Ianto assured Rhys.
“You looked dead when we found you.” Rhys clarified. “Didn’t think Jack had it in him to be that upset. He just stopped functioning, clung onto this one,” he indicated Finn who was engrossed in his building task. “And wouldn’t let go.”
Ianto was almost surprised at this revelation. He’d presumed Jack would have gone into full leader mode, barking orders at scared paramedics and firemen.
“He really cares about you.” Rhys said softly, watching Ianto for a long moment.
Ianto swallowed slightly, turning away from Rhys. “I know.”
Rhys frowned, continuing to watch Ianto as he started to play with the fraying edge of the hospital blanket. Rhys would have thought Ianto would be happy to hear that Jack cared for him, he hadn’t expected the almost nervous demeanour Ianto was now showing to be his reaction.
“Rhys?” A small voice distracted Rhys, tugging on his sleeve. “Can you help me please?” Finn asked as he presented Rhys with a hand full of bricks.
“Course I can mate.” Rhys said getting up from the chair and lowering himself onto the floor beside Finn. It didn’t stop him glancing over at Ianto every minute or so, frowning in contemplation as he watched the other Welshman slipping back into a doze.
Monday 18th August 2.19am
Ianto turned over in bed to find Jack slouched in the visitor’s chair, asleep. He was startled somewhat at the sight, hadn’t seen Jack since - he glanced at his watch on the bedside table - yesterday morning. Jack’s head was slouched forward on his chest, arms folded as if he was some cartoon guard fallen asleep on the job. All he needed was a hat falling over his eyes. Ianto didn’t know why Jack had found his way back to Ianto’s bedside at some godforsaken hour of the morning. Ianto didn’t need babysitting, he had nurses to do that, and Rhys as well apparently.
“You don’t have to worry about me.” Ianto whispered to the sleeping form. Jack didn’t so much as stir as Ianto moved his pillows slightly so he could lie down and still see Jack, watching him intently.
“I’m still here, still alive, for now.” Ianto continued. “You told me once that I didn’t have to be brave around you, you know the same applies to you.” Ianto didn’t know if he wanted Jack to wake up and listen, or if it would be easier for him just to sleep through his explanation.
“I know that was you who got lost in the Rift from another time and another place. I kept catching glimpses every so often when I was wandering around alone. God I was so alone.” The last sentence came out a breathy whisper. “It felt like I was there forever, just wandering around without direction or hope, like I was five years old again and I’d got lost in the supermarket, wandering down unfamiliar aisles with strangers, only there was no one there. Sometimes it was like Canary Wharf though - not the fire, but the screaming, just the endless screaming for salvation in the dark. I thought I’d go mad with it.” Ianto let out a sigh.
“Mam was there at first, Tosh, Owen. Lisa too. And it was like I had a different life, but one without you. Then they were gone as well, and then there was just that boy, just you every so often when I felt like giving up, a flash of blue eyes out of the corner of my eye and I knew I had to get back to you.”
“A candle in the dark.” The words slurred slightly from Jack’s tired lips before he was opening his eyes to take in Ianto. He gave a tentative half smile, almost apologetic for hearing Ianto as he pulled himself up slightly, stretching his back.
“It was you wasn’t it?” Ianto asked, not looking at Jack now, but at his hands as Jack’s clasped over them. Jack shook his head.
“It wasn’t exactly me.” Jack answered truthfully, frowning slightly as if the real explanation confused him.
“It was an echo of a future me or a past me.”
“I don’t understand.” Ianto confessed, finally looking up at Jack.
“You know how people talk about an inner child, about how you’re only as old as you feel?”
Ianto nodded, wondering what this had to do with the boy from the rift.
“He was a warning, a warning from my future self, a projection of my inner child telling me not to lose it, telling me that one day I was going to lose everyone and I had to learn not to lose myself. A warning of what’s to come.”
“So your telling me that you kidnapped me and half of the children of Cardiff because you didn’t want you to get depressed?” Ianto asked scathingly.
“Sort of.” Jack frowned, annoyed that his theory had been debunked. “Let’s call him my evil twin.”
Ianto let out a titter of a laugh before if developed into full-blown chuckling.
“Only you Jack Harkness.” Ianto said breathlessly.
“Only the little boy wasn’t me.” Jack said after a moment of just watching Ianto. Ianto frowned.
“But you just said-“ Ianto looked thoroughly confused now.
“He was you, and Gray, and everyone I’ve ever lost to the Rift. When I looked in his eyes I didn’t see a reflection of myself staring back I saw all my failings, all my undoing’s. A child for everyone I’ve lost.” Jack’s voice was barely above a whisper now as Ianto pulled himself into a sitting position on the bed, tugging on Jack’s hands and finally the lapels of his coat to pull him closer. Ianto didn’t say anything, just pulled Jack down into a long soothing kiss. When they parted there were tears wet on Jack’s face that he wiped at hastily, trying to put on a brave face.
“You don’t have to be brave around me.” Ianto said softly, a hand reaching up to cradle Jack’s cheek, causing Jack to huff out another sob before he lowered his head onto Ianto’s lap without encouragement, just taking a moment to bask in the nearness of Ianto as long fingers ran gently through his hair.
Monday 18th August 6.02am
The Hub was dead. There didn’t even seem to be the whirring of the fans that kept the machines cool. Usually at this time in the morning Ianto would be arriving, brewing his first pot of coffee for the day. There would be the smell of freshly showered Welshman, as well as the lingering smell of sex if Ianto had stayed the night. Tosh would usually not be far behind, tapping away productively at keyboards. Usually the chuckle of laughter as her and Ianto exchanged views on last nights Strictly Come Dancing, coffee cups clicking together and the rustle of digestive biscuit wrappers.
Sometimes the sound of a hung-over Owen moaning could be heard, still passed out on the couch from where Ianto had dumped him the night before after picking him up at 3 in the morning from some street corner. Owen usually made it home, but there were rare occasions when he had gotten so drunk he forgot where he lived. Ianto always seemed to be the one he called for a lift home though, which was odd. Sometimes the medic was grumbling for a whole other reason - usually due to being up all night with nothing but an alien corpse for company.
Phones were always ringing, and the whisper of Gwen and Tosh gossiping like schoolgirls could be heard by mid-morning. The shuffle of paperwork, the clatter of dropped pens and instruments, the curses in both Welsh and English over something so trivial as someone using all the post-it notes for things not entirely work related.
There was nothing now. No sound anywhere, least of all the morgue where Jack was now stood next to drawer 37. He swallowed past the lump in his throat as he looked down at the form of his frozen brother, suspended in time and space until Jack figured out what to do with him; if he ever figured out what to do with him. His fingers twitched over the defrost button but nothing would have changed.
Jack would still feel guilty for letting go like he had so many years ago and Gray would still not forgive him. He was all that remained of Jack’s family now - of his blood one at any rate, and oddly he was the one that would outlast them all.
“Apart from me Jack, you have to keep me alive.”
On to Part 17