Fast began 8:30 am feb 14.
OK so i noticed i havent written in my journal for ages. My fast broke a while ago at my boyfriend's house. THey eat supper every single night together! The last few times i have been there i said i was sick or already ate. I could'nt make up another excuse this time so i ate. Urg. Then for about a few days i heavily restricted. Then it was my boyfriends fucking birthday *tear* I had to eat KFC and cake... i had too.. people were talking about anorexia and models and how they must all be anorexic! I felt soo awkward. I had to eat some greasy ass chicken and cake. *kill me now* I weighed myself before i ate then after. I gained 5 pounds!!! WTF?!!! I purged. People had to use the bathroom every 5 min ( lots of ppl.. party..) so i couldmnt purge it all. I weighed again. Total gain.. 3.5 pounds. That took so much hard work and time to loose the weigh and i gained it half back in like 15 min!! OMG!! I am soo freaking out.
Last night i had a bowl of cereal and some lettuce with salsa ( 500 cals) I figured it couldnt hurt to much after the night before. Today i am beginning a new fast. Start allll over. I can do it. I feel good. I felt good about it last time and i could have kept going but i was in an awkward situation and then lost all hope. The are no more special occasions or anything comming up for a long time so no excuses.
Today is Valentines day!! I got a beautiful red candle with a little chain and heart on it and a hunk of a teddy bear!! I love Mitch!! I think i am going to use the candle to motivate me for my fast. Mitch deserves more than a fat ugly lard ass pig ( me ). I will not only do this for me but for him too.
I am so strange just to tel you now. I have a ritual type thing. It helps me. I light 3 candles . One purple ( bulimia ) one red ( anoexia ) and another purple ( me ). The candles help me stay strong. I light them everytme i am in my room.
well i dont really have anything else to share. My life is dull and boring so i dont write in my journal often. I go on LJ and read through the communities every single day tho. :)
I can do this hour 3 current time 11:30 am
Last night i had a bowl of cereal and some lettuce with salsa ( 500 cals) I figured it couldnt hurt to much after the night before. Today i am beginning a new fast. Start allll over. I can do it. I feel good. I felt good about it last time and i could have kept going but i was in an awkward situation and then lost all hope. The are no more special occasions or anything comming up for a long time so no excuses.
Today is Valentines day!! I got a beautiful red candle with a little chain and heart on it and a hunk of a teddy bear!! I love Mitch!! I think i am going to use the candle to motivate me for my fast. Mitch deserves more than a fat ugly lard ass pig ( me ). I will not only do this for me but for him too.
I am so strange just to tel you now. I have a ritual type thing. It helps me. I light 3 candles . One purple ( bulimia ) one red ( anoexia ) and another purple ( me ). The candles help me stay strong. I light them everytme i am in my room.
well i dont really have anything else to share. My life is dull and boring so i dont write in my journal often. I go on LJ and read through the communities every single day tho. :)
I can do this hour 3 current time 11:30 am