Musings: Infatuation, and Cheating
In 9th grade, I was head-over-heels for Aaron. Some part of me already realized that it would turn out well, and I desperately didn't want to love him anymore. Even then, it hurt, and nothing had even happened yet.
One day, I told Katrina about it, and she told me, "Find something you don't like about him. Find a flaw. Focus on it."
Except, if I had been able to notice his flaws, I wouldn't have been sickly in love with him.
Tangentially related, I've been pondering lately just what the boundaries of cheating are. There are some things that obviously are, or obviously aren't - but then, things that are obviously okay to me, to others are obviously cheating. And possibly, things that are obviously forbidden in my mind might be totally acceptable in someone else's. Probably, every person on the planet draws that line a little bit differently. But does anyone really sit down and talk about it? I know polyamorous people generally do - it's kind of a necessity. I, myself, have never sat down with new beau and discussed What Is Okay and What Is Not. It's always been assumed. The closest I've come is saying, "Do you mind that I'm very cuddly with my friends?" or "I'm very touchy with people I'm friends with, does that bother you?" I ask about anything that I think might be a problem. For me and Tom, it seems to work fine.
One day, I told Katrina about it, and she told me, "Find something you don't like about him. Find a flaw. Focus on it."
Except, if I had been able to notice his flaws, I wouldn't have been sickly in love with him.
Tangentially related, I've been pondering lately just what the boundaries of cheating are. There are some things that obviously are, or obviously aren't - but then, things that are obviously okay to me, to others are obviously cheating. And possibly, things that are obviously forbidden in my mind might be totally acceptable in someone else's. Probably, every person on the planet draws that line a little bit differently. But does anyone really sit down and talk about it? I know polyamorous people generally do - it's kind of a necessity. I, myself, have never sat down with new beau and discussed What Is Okay and What Is Not. It's always been assumed. The closest I've come is saying, "Do you mind that I'm very cuddly with my friends?" or "I'm very touchy with people I'm friends with, does that bother you?" I ask about anything that I think might be a problem. For me and Tom, it seems to work fine.