HERE I SIT....
Yepp.. Im bored out of my mind..I wish my Baby were here.. And we could watch TV together.. I love watching TV with him.. and just chill-n.. So anyhow.. I have a job now at a place called Trade Secret I sell hair stuff.. and i work alot 5 days about 6-8 hours aday.. but its not that hard.. sometimes it is but most the time it isnt.. just alot of standing around.. and talking to alot of people i dont know .. but its all good..I get some people to get all kinds of shit and spend like $80 or more.. Its cool.. umm other then that..I sit at home and wait for wes to call or watch some TV and just chill..or sleep..hmmmm.. may was a bad month.. thats why i didnt write in here.. i just knew it wouldnt help b/c i chould talk about the things that were on my mind.. and so i didnt have anything i could write.. but everythings starting to be ok again.. Like its funny.. you truly dont know how much you love something untill its gone..and it hurts so bad to lose something you love so much.. like you lose apart of your self.. and you always feel like you did something wrong and that its all your falt and you think well what if i did this or did that .. would it have mattered.. would it of changed anything.. but after a bit it starts to go away.. but it hurts when you see thing that remind you of what you lost.. and then the hurt and sadness sort of starts all over again..I dont know.. its like.. your life can just change in an min.. form good to bad.. you could be looking forword to like the most amazing thing.. and then have it taken away from you in just 1 min..I dont know.. all i do know is it hurts.. it hurts so bad.. and sometimes i feel like ive let people down..and everythings all my fault..and i know that there are just things that are ment to happen.. but still i feel like i messed up.. i feel like im always messing up.. no matter what i do i mess up.. i know somepeopel that read this will have no clue what i have been going on and on about but a few do.. and please tell me if im going crazy.. b/c sometimes i feel like i am.. and i feel like i have no one to talk to... and i know i do but i just feel like they dont truly understand me..YEPP IM GOING CRAZY... ok anyhow im going to drop that so i dont end up crying adn depressed and then spend the next 2 days in bed.. soooo wes is doing good.. hes over in afganastain he has been over there for a lil over 2 1/2 months.. so that makes for only 9 1/2 more to go... GRRRRRRRRR but he gets to come home in NOV or DEC.. so i will get to see him for 2 weeks.. and i cant wait i just want to hug him and never let him go.. ummm... i got a dig cam.. so thats cool ill be able to send him pics.. umm im going to save up for a dog.. im hoping maybe wes will go in 1/2 with me or something.. that would be cool b.c then it wuold be like "our" dog... even tho he isnt her.. i will have to some up with like $300 ot $350 for the one i want.. i want one just like my other dog stoon that my dad has.. shes all lil and crazy like me.. lol..i miss my dogs.. pic and stoon.. im def going to go to the ville soemtime this summer to see everyone.. because belive it or not i miss the ville.. wilmington is soooooo big and everythings so far apart and + i dont know anyone.. i have yet to make any friends.. yeah i have tlaked to some girls at work about going and doing something but it never happens.. i think i will prob not make anyfriends at all.. im not good with girl my age thats why i can count all my friends on one hand.. anyhow.. there is this girl named mendie.. shes a dirty lil hoe and if i ever see her im going to kick the living shit out of her.. b/c shes a dirty lil hoe.(thats my bors EX girlfriend)anyhow.i just want my bro to be happy and find someone thats going to love him and do him right and give back to him all the love he gives.. b/c hes a towning and yes townings can be assholes and can be a lils tupid at times.. but we have ALOT of love in us.. and we are very deep...lol.. i know i shoud like a dork huh? oh well im bored.. and its the truth.. you wouldnt think it to look at us but we are...well chris (thats my bro) has been talking to a girl... we wont name any names.. she can do that if she feels like it.. ;) and im hoping that like if hintgs dont work out as in them being together that they will be good friends b/c i know he feels for her and would love to have her in him life anyway he can.. and she is a wonderful person and had a beautiful heart and has been hurt and used just like he has and needs someone that will love her for her and for all that she is.. and as far as i can see.. she does.. i dont want to say its love.. b/c i truly dont know.. but i know that he could more the likley fall in love with her.. i just hope if this girl doesnt feel that way about him she will let him know in time to save his heart from anymore hurt b/c he doesnt need anymore..all i want is for them to be happy... :D.. ok now that i said that... IM BORED.. as you can see b/c i keep talking about off the wall shit that no one prob givesa shit about ... well i dont really see why i give a fuck b/c no on prob reads this anyhow.. so BLHA,...im going to try and put some pics of wes over in afganastan on here for everyone to see.. hes looks all sexy.. yepp this things so long.. i chould prob put even more on here but ill save something for another day.. like here in another month when i get back on here and update again..lol.. na im going to try and update this as much as i can..
