No One Gets It...

[tears_withheld]

I know we talked about it
I just can't get around
I just want one more night with you
I wanna fall in love
Tonight
~Seasons

So true... so very very true... I just wanna give up sometimes... To let everything go and stop allowing this emotional torture to tear me apart. But then, I look at him and I think about the laughs and the talks and I keep thinking to myself why I would wanna do such a thing... That I should keep trying, but then I remember that my best friend, the one person who I've known to trust and talk to began to develope similar feelings, so what position does that put me in?
A hard one, since it's not even my decision of what happens... And I know that she will be first choice... It's obvious... I just hate how I'm never ever able to get anywhere and to be able to experience some things that some people have already... But I don't know... In this situation not everyone can be happy I guess.... Perhaps I should just pull myself out of the race... Perhaps I should...

This love has taking its toll on me...