they say it's your birthday

[tears_on_fire]

So, yeah, today is my 31st birthday. My family and I were all at my sister's for a cookout, which was good. Two of my friends stopped by today with presents...which is also really sweet. I miss hanging out w/a lot of my friends. Summer (as far as work is concerned) is almost over. I'm thankful that I will have more time. There are a lot of things I need to get done, some important decisions to make in the next few months. Those things scare me...I'll admit I don't like change, but I hate strict rules even more. It's all in the factoring.

But it was a good birthday overall. Of course I love birthday's and plan on celebrating all of the ones I can. :) lol I will celebrate more this weekend. Plus, I have some good shopping in store for me....gift cards are great. lol

So, he called me today. I, of course, have to ask what is it he wants when he calls. He was wishing me a Happy Birthday, but that wasn't all...it never is. He was having a bad day...so I'm the person that comes to mind. It is a weird feeling. I'm glad that he calls me when he needs someone. I'm also glad that I am unavailable to him at times, like tonight. This slightly makes me feel guilty, but I know he deserves me not being there. If that makes sense. He is a bigger factor in my life than I am willing to admit...I hate it. But I want to be with him, and that will never be allowed to happen. So how do I get over him?