most things never happen: this one will
You know, most times when a spider falls off the drive-through window and lands on your hand at 9:15, the rest of the day only gets better.
And then I found out that one of our patrons had passed away--Mr. Jones. I had thought he was elderly, but he was only in his 50s--he'd had cancer for a long time. And he was always so nice. He checked out Duma Key a couple of weeks ago--I told him he wouldn't be disappointed, but now I'll never get to ask him what he thought of it.
Then I went back to pick up a hold for another patron, and I saw we had one on the shelf for Mr. Jones. Brand-new James Patterson--he must have been right at the top of the list. And I just...I don't know. It upsets me.
I don't know if I'll go to the funeral. Some of the other librarians are going, but they knew him much longer, and I don't even know if I can deal with a funeral--I haven't been to one since my grandmother in 1997. And that just makes me think of what a good run we've had lately, and how my grandfather is 82 and he's had cancer twice, and I don't want to think about this any more, because it doesn't make me cry, it just makes me chest all tight and panicky and DO NOT WANT.
*sigh* I'm okay. Things are okayish. I'll just keep reading Sense and Sensibility via Project Gutenberg and not thinking. Plan.