I know it's been a long time since I sang a hymn without guilt in my eyes
About eleven or twelve years ago, I had this dream. I was going to buy a guitar, and I was going to to play the hell out of it and become the best damn musician this world has ever heard. I was really into REM's "Automatic for the People" album at the time, and I was going to write something that sounded just like it.
Eleven or twelve years and countless instruments later, I'm sitting here, wondering just when that dream disappeared. Well, not the dream itself, really, but the motivation behind the dream. It seems that I spent a good portion of my teenage life playing those damn guitars. I gave myself wholly to a number of go-nowhere bands, neglecting the people who I loved in the process. Neglecting my own needs, just to play in these bands.
Needless to say, none of them went anywhere. Myself, I've more or less retired from the "professional" world of music, and I don't think that I ever want to go back. Truth be told, I barely touch my guitars anymore. When I do sit down and play, I have a few songs that I like playing (mostly Canadian music that you haven't heard of). (Unless you're Diana, in which case that last statement doesn't apply to you!)
The thing that bothers me, though, is the fact that in over ten years, I have yet to write a song. Actually, that's not entirely true. Back in 2001, I recorded an album called "Acoustic Virgin" with six or seven songs on it. Good songs? Absolutely not. In fact, I know that there are only five people in the entire universe who have heard this album. My songs... songs like "Miss Drama Queen", "Back in the Day", and "Emerald City... have never been heard by anyone, really. With good reason, too. They stank!
What I'm trying to say, I guess, is that I couldn't write a song to save my life.
Still, there's something inside me that I can't seem to get out. I feel like I have so much to say, so much to express. For the longest time, I was convinced that music was the only way I could get it out. That theory has since been blown out of the water. I still have this need, this longing, even, to create something. To make art.
I think that it's time for me to do something drastic. I have an idea of what I want to do, and it's something I've wanted to experiment with for years and years. I may make that big step tomorrow. I may make it next week, or next year.
I don't want to say much about it right now, but keep your eyes open.
Eleven or twelve years and countless instruments later, I'm sitting here, wondering just when that dream disappeared. Well, not the dream itself, really, but the motivation behind the dream. It seems that I spent a good portion of my teenage life playing those damn guitars. I gave myself wholly to a number of go-nowhere bands, neglecting the people who I loved in the process. Neglecting my own needs, just to play in these bands.
Needless to say, none of them went anywhere. Myself, I've more or less retired from the "professional" world of music, and I don't think that I ever want to go back. Truth be told, I barely touch my guitars anymore. When I do sit down and play, I have a few songs that I like playing (mostly Canadian music that you haven't heard of). (Unless you're Diana, in which case that last statement doesn't apply to you!)
The thing that bothers me, though, is the fact that in over ten years, I have yet to write a song. Actually, that's not entirely true. Back in 2001, I recorded an album called "Acoustic Virgin" with six or seven songs on it. Good songs? Absolutely not. In fact, I know that there are only five people in the entire universe who have heard this album. My songs... songs like "Miss Drama Queen", "Back in the Day", and "Emerald City... have never been heard by anyone, really. With good reason, too. They stank!
What I'm trying to say, I guess, is that I couldn't write a song to save my life.
Still, there's something inside me that I can't seem to get out. I feel like I have so much to say, so much to express. For the longest time, I was convinced that music was the only way I could get it out. That theory has since been blown out of the water. I still have this need, this longing, even, to create something. To make art.
I think that it's time for me to do something drastic. I have an idea of what I want to do, and it's something I've wanted to experiment with for years and years. I may make that big step tomorrow. I may make it next week, or next year.
I don't want to say much about it right now, but keep your eyes open.