rejection
today i got my first letter back. a rejection letter. perhaps it's a good thing though, either the school wasn't right for me (i honestly didn't see myself spending the next 3 years in jacksonville anyway!) or maybe this career option isn't for me. either way, it still feels kind of shitty. they did say that i was a "promising candidate" though. just not promising enough to be offered on of the "limited spots." perhaps they filled their minority quota?? i mean, we can only have so many niggers in the fall 2006 incoming class, right? right. especially the female ones...them crazy bitches!...i would've gotten killed up there anyways.
and thanks to everyone who's been there for me thus far (the last comment reeking of sarcasm). there must be something utterly wrong with making myself available to others when they reach out for me...for anything (companionship, advice, yadda yadda yadda.) because it feels great being there for other people. but when you're utterly alone and all you have is your own questions, and killing thoughts on playback in your own mind, it's really fucking lonely. thanks friends. where are you dead, in your heart or in your head? perhaps i don't keep myself busy enough, or maybe i'm not selfish enough. too selfless because it feels good to give a damn for others. maybe that in and of itself is selfish? hmmm...chew on that one for a while. altruism for the sake of saying "hah! remember when i did this for you, i'm the shit!" "how could you every survive without me?" "i'm the greatest thing since bread came sliced." but a bit of modesty pays for good image, so you keep all that shit to yourself, ya hear?
...or maybe everyone has died, and i didn't get the memo..."i am the last living soul"...now if that isn't self-aggrandizing, i don't know what the fuck is.
so yeah, maybe i won't get into any law school. or maybe i will get into to one school on a condition i won't be able to meet, or maybe i'll get into a school i can't afford. think quickly karyne, it's time for plan B...unfortunately, plan B was to have no plan at all....
Currently listening:
Every Day Is Exactly The Same
By Nine Inch Nails
Release date: By 04 April, 2006
11:49 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
and thanks to everyone who's been there for me thus far (the last comment reeking of sarcasm). there must be something utterly wrong with making myself available to others when they reach out for me...for anything (companionship, advice, yadda yadda yadda.) because it feels great being there for other people. but when you're utterly alone and all you have is your own questions, and killing thoughts on playback in your own mind, it's really fucking lonely. thanks friends. where are you dead, in your heart or in your head? perhaps i don't keep myself busy enough, or maybe i'm not selfish enough. too selfless because it feels good to give a damn for others. maybe that in and of itself is selfish? hmmm...chew on that one for a while. altruism for the sake of saying "hah! remember when i did this for you, i'm the shit!" "how could you every survive without me?" "i'm the greatest thing since bread came sliced." but a bit of modesty pays for good image, so you keep all that shit to yourself, ya hear?
...or maybe everyone has died, and i didn't get the memo..."i am the last living soul"...now if that isn't self-aggrandizing, i don't know what the fuck is.
so yeah, maybe i won't get into any law school. or maybe i will get into to one school on a condition i won't be able to meet, or maybe i'll get into a school i can't afford. think quickly karyne, it's time for plan B...unfortunately, plan B was to have no plan at all....
Currently listening:
Every Day Is Exactly The Same
By Nine Inch Nails
Release date: By 04 April, 2006
11:49 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove