high on life
Today was just one of those days where I COULDN'T TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY hahaha....
Fucking fabulously deliciously and fully enjoying life at the moment, but I want the people who were once very close to me (physically) to be close to me (physically)again, particularly my best friends.
Despite wanting that, which goes almost completely against the Buddhist ideal of detachment, I feel a great surge of freedom. It's a mental freedom. Tonight I went out, had a smashing time (almost with no alcohol, which is my next hurdle to pass....only half a drink tonight though so moderation is key ;) amongst friends. I just have a desire to bring together past and present because I want them both to be involved in my future...
This surge of freedom comes from a conversation I had yesterday about fears. Internal fears, other peoples fears FOR you, the fear to fucking LIVE MY LIFE. It's such a transparent obstacle that I put in front of myself. Perhaps this is me rebelling against myself, NOT listening to that voice in my head for once that keeps me in that cage. The voice of the collective screaming in my ear. I'm going to do the exact opposite and do it with a HUGE fucking smile...ear to fucking ear...
Fucking fabulously deliciously and fully enjoying life at the moment, but I want the people who were once very close to me (physically) to be close to me (physically)again, particularly my best friends.
Despite wanting that, which goes almost completely against the Buddhist ideal of detachment, I feel a great surge of freedom. It's a mental freedom. Tonight I went out, had a smashing time (almost with no alcohol, which is my next hurdle to pass....only half a drink tonight though so moderation is key ;) amongst friends. I just have a desire to bring together past and present because I want them both to be involved in my future...
This surge of freedom comes from a conversation I had yesterday about fears. Internal fears, other peoples fears FOR you, the fear to fucking LIVE MY LIFE. It's such a transparent obstacle that I put in front of myself. Perhaps this is me rebelling against myself, NOT listening to that voice in my head for once that keeps me in that cage. The voice of the collective screaming in my ear. I'm going to do the exact opposite and do it with a HUGE fucking smile...ear to fucking ear...