Feelings of emptiness
Well its been a little while since I last
updated..Havent really felt the need to.Im sick which sucks but I've
had a lot of time to think. A lot of things has happend, within in my
family and other things. I dont know where am I going with
this...Lately, ive been lost I guess you can say. Its kind of
scary to think that in a year I will be saying goodbye to all of my
friends and moving on to college. Who knows where i'll be, who
knows where they will be. It breaks my heart to even think about
leaving my friends. Netherless my family.
Empty, thats how I feel. I can have all the love in the world from my friends and family but I still feel empty. Maybe its from what I have experienced 4 years ago. Wow...4 years, I sure do miss him. I sometimes want to give up, I just want him to walk through my door and just give me a hug and tell me everythings okay..that hes home and is never going to leave. You cant always get what you want right? I guess this is something I wont get. Until we meet again I will have this emptiness inside of me. I sometimes want to pack up everything and leave because this place reminds me too much of him. I see his face everywhere and just makes me want him home more.
I want to be happy..but something is wrong with me..I find something that makes me happy but still I cant be the way I used to be. I want to change but I cant or is it I just dont want to? I dont know, honestly I dont know anymore. My mind is something else let me tell you. I just want to figure out whats wrong with me so I can move on and go on with life. Not have to worry about anything. Thats why sometimes I want to leave, move to Spain and just forget about my past. But my past has so many great memories, minus the grey areas that I really cant remember and choose not to. Anyways, Im about to pass out. Bye.
P.S. This is to everyone who has supported me through out the toughest years of my life. Everytime I look at myself and they way Ive turned out I thank God that I have friends like you. I honestly couldnt hve dont it without you guys. I love you so much.
Empty, thats how I feel. I can have all the love in the world from my friends and family but I still feel empty. Maybe its from what I have experienced 4 years ago. Wow...4 years, I sure do miss him. I sometimes want to give up, I just want him to walk through my door and just give me a hug and tell me everythings okay..that hes home and is never going to leave. You cant always get what you want right? I guess this is something I wont get. Until we meet again I will have this emptiness inside of me. I sometimes want to pack up everything and leave because this place reminds me too much of him. I see his face everywhere and just makes me want him home more.
I want to be happy..but something is wrong with me..I find something that makes me happy but still I cant be the way I used to be. I want to change but I cant or is it I just dont want to? I dont know, honestly I dont know anymore. My mind is something else let me tell you. I just want to figure out whats wrong with me so I can move on and go on with life. Not have to worry about anything. Thats why sometimes I want to leave, move to Spain and just forget about my past. But my past has so many great memories, minus the grey areas that I really cant remember and choose not to. Anyways, Im about to pass out. Bye.
P.S. This is to everyone who has supported me through out the toughest years of my life. Everytime I look at myself and they way Ive turned out I thank God that I have friends like you. I honestly couldnt hve dont it without you guys. I love you so much.