Losing the people you love.

[tearpaintedface]

I've been there a time or two. I feel, I've lost my friend. It's always like that new relationships always tend to put your friends aside. But, If it makes you happy. I'm not really that upset. It's been this way for quite awhile. If you're fucked up you'll ignore my calls...that's usually how it goes...right? I can't even go out with you anymore without having to result to substances. I miss being honest without you about these thoughts. Honestly, I liked you better, sober. I know me writing in my livejournal will result in some sort of drama or me being spoke of behind my back to "fill in name here". I really hate that it results like this. I can't even write what I want because of the bullshit it might cause. I can predict where these few sentences will lead me. I have this all mapped out in my head and nothing good comes out of livejournal.

Tommorow, I'm not answering many phone calls. Screw School and Studying. I'm going to take a day of relaxation.

I was going to go to New York. But, I'm broke even if the ticket is paid for and meals. I just want to have some spending money. I might try to go after christmas/holidays.

My financial situation pretty much sucks. I'm getting a job for next semester...Or maybe a speeding ticket is causing me to be broke/holidays.

I realized it is nice to have someone to love around the holidays/in general. I love the smile he brings to my face everyday of my life. I feel great in our relationship especially when I'm in Columbia.

Also, School is stressing me out...

Off to cook and have a few drinks...