(no subject)
This entry is going to be almost completely opposite the one I wrote a mere half a day ago.
Tonight's show was amazing. It was so amazing. It was a dance gathering like I haven't experienced since back at Je'Bon, or drum circles at Studio Yoga, or Folk Tours. Maybe not quite as big a deal as Folk Tours, and not nearly as intimate as Je'Bon or drum circles, but the feeling and the sentiment and the energy was the same, on some important level for me. Maybe I just haven't been around it for too long...too busy, too jaded, too wrapped up in troupe drama (not really drama...no, more like troupe "happenings") to remember why I really dance. Too focused on endings rather than possible new beginnings, and the fact that dance will ALWAYS be my saving grace. It has saved me on so many other occasions (even when I think I'm done, that my Taurus personality has finally shed its interest and I should give up and let go). I don't know why I didn't think it would save me this time around, too.
I can feel the usual passion I feel toward the art creeping back into me, and I feel like I've finally recovered from the last couple horrible months. I may have finally let go of the stress that built up steadily from months on end of countless papers and bottomless schoolwork, life-changing experiences, and the steadily-declining health of family members. I have yet to fully recover from Pepper's death, and there's still a huge, horrible void in my life that she once occupied, but it feels like a pit that is possible to climb out of now, rather than scaling an endless wall.
Sometimes I just need to be shocked back into reality.
Interestingly (and probably less poetically), tonight I also ran into, of all people - Shems. It was funny because I was watching her dance, sitting with Trina and Sara, and kept whispering "God she looks JUST like this girl I know, but it can't be, because she lives five hours away and anyway why would Shems come all the way to Homer, NY? I don't even know why -I'M- in Homer, NY." Not two minutes later and I get hug-attacked from the side. Holy shit - I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. It was like my two dance worlds collided - the one that most recently saved me and the one that fully solidified my love - and it left me reeling, but I think I almost cried from the sheer joy it brought. As weird as that sounds. It was almost symbolic. Sorry, Shems, if I inadvertently oggled and gushed at you, but I WAS incredibly glad to see you, albeit completely and utterly surprised.
What a totally unexpected happening. Wow. Still totally out of it.
I need to force myself to sleep before I pass out at the keyboard. I have to work tomorrow, which is lame. Let's see if this renewed passion lasts past this evening's bellydance afterglow. I've a feeling it will though. Now I just need to find a way to get myself to various workshops - I have been slacking.
Tonight's show was amazing. It was so amazing. It was a dance gathering like I haven't experienced since back at Je'Bon, or drum circles at Studio Yoga, or Folk Tours. Maybe not quite as big a deal as Folk Tours, and not nearly as intimate as Je'Bon or drum circles, but the feeling and the sentiment and the energy was the same, on some important level for me. Maybe I just haven't been around it for too long...too busy, too jaded, too wrapped up in troupe drama (not really drama...no, more like troupe "happenings") to remember why I really dance. Too focused on endings rather than possible new beginnings, and the fact that dance will ALWAYS be my saving grace. It has saved me on so many other occasions (even when I think I'm done, that my Taurus personality has finally shed its interest and I should give up and let go). I don't know why I didn't think it would save me this time around, too.
I can feel the usual passion I feel toward the art creeping back into me, and I feel like I've finally recovered from the last couple horrible months. I may have finally let go of the stress that built up steadily from months on end of countless papers and bottomless schoolwork, life-changing experiences, and the steadily-declining health of family members. I have yet to fully recover from Pepper's death, and there's still a huge, horrible void in my life that she once occupied, but it feels like a pit that is possible to climb out of now, rather than scaling an endless wall.
Sometimes I just need to be shocked back into reality.
Interestingly (and probably less poetically), tonight I also ran into, of all people - Shems. It was funny because I was watching her dance, sitting with Trina and Sara, and kept whispering "God she looks JUST like this girl I know, but it can't be, because she lives five hours away and anyway why would Shems come all the way to Homer, NY? I don't even know why -I'M- in Homer, NY." Not two minutes later and I get hug-attacked from the side. Holy shit - I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. It was like my two dance worlds collided - the one that most recently saved me and the one that fully solidified my love - and it left me reeling, but I think I almost cried from the sheer joy it brought. As weird as that sounds. It was almost symbolic. Sorry, Shems, if I inadvertently oggled and gushed at you, but I WAS incredibly glad to see you, albeit completely and utterly surprised.
What a totally unexpected happening. Wow. Still totally out of it.
I need to force myself to sleep before I pass out at the keyboard. I have to work tomorrow, which is lame. Let's see if this renewed passion lasts past this evening's bellydance afterglow. I've a feeling it will though. Now I just need to find a way to get myself to various workshops - I have been slacking.