I have not had any internet access for some time now being on my travels, but it still doesn`t stop the heart wrenching pain in my heart. One of my friends told me by telephone the other night, and I have been spending days trying to get my head around it and try in some way to get internet access.
I find it so hard to believe you are gone, that you have left us. I feel a little silly talking directly to you, but you are not simply a memory for me Diane, you may be gone but you still live in my heart. You gave me the strength to follow my dreams, you gave me the strength not to feel ashamed about past experiences, you gave me your love and treated me like a daughter, and it is a great shame that you are unable to see me happy for the first time in my life - happy because you gave me the strength to be.
My heart is shattered, broken that I can no longer be a part of your life, that you will only ever be part of mine in my hopes and dreams from this moment forward. You know I have never believed in heaven, but now that I know in my heart you have found it, the idea will stay in my heart forever.
There are so many things I want to say to you, but all are marred by the utter feeling of loss I feel. I know you are in a happier place, I know that years of pain have ended for you, and I know that you would not want me to shed a single tear for you, that you would not want to see pain, but I can`t help it, they roll anywaym even though you tought me better.
You are very special to me my love, and I am so angry with myself for not having been a better friend for the last few weeks, I am angry that I have thought about you everyday, hoping you would be ok, when you weren`t on this plane any longer.
I wish I could have said goodbye when you would have been able to hear it, to let you know more how special you were to me, and to let you know that I thought you were more of a mother to me than my own ever was. I`m sure you knew, but not knowing for sure rips my heart further.
I love you, please keep smiling, wherever you are, please keep giving hope to all those you touch.
I have not had any internet access for some time now being on my travels, but it still doesn`t stop the heart wrenching pain in my heart. One of my friends told me by telephone the other night, and I have been spending days trying to get my head around it and try in some way to get internet access.
I find it so hard to believe you are gone, that you have left us. I feel a little silly talking directly to you, but you are not simply a memory for me Diane, you may be gone but you still live in my heart. You gave me the strength to follow my dreams, you gave me the strength not to feel ashamed about past experiences, you gave me your love and treated me like a daughter, and it is a great shame that you are unable to see me happy for the first time in my life - happy because you gave me the strength to be.
My heart is shattered, broken that I can no longer be a part of your life, that you will only ever be part of mine in my hopes and dreams from this moment forward. You know I have never believed in heaven, but now that I know in my heart you have found it, the idea will stay in my heart forever.
There are so many things I want to say to you, but all are marred by the utter feeling of loss I feel. I know you are in a happier place, I know that years of pain have ended for you, and I know that you would not want me to shed a single tear for you, that you would not want to see pain, but I can`t help it, they roll anywaym even though you tought me better.
You are very special to me my love, and I am so angry with myself for not having been a better friend for the last few weeks, I am angry that I have thought about you everyday, hoping you would be ok, when you weren`t on this plane any longer.
I wish I could have said goodbye when you would have been able to hear it, to let you know more how special you were to me, and to let you know that I thought you were more of a mother to me than my own ever was. I`m sure you knew, but not knowing for sure rips my heart further.
I love you, please keep smiling, wherever you are, please keep giving hope to all those you touch.
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