(no subject)
I havent wrote in a while now. A long while. Well since a while ago I've gotten fat. And I guess I lost 4 or 5 lbs cuz now I weigh 160 in the mornings. Gah. I need to get back on track so badly. And I need to do it now. I have all these clothes that are to small for me that I want to fit into again. We have a volleyball game tomorrow and we are sooo gunna kick ass. We are like undefeated 9 and 0. But to be like completely honest I really dont give a shit and im a senior and I and one of the six starters. I got a rather small part in the one act play. If I werent soooo nervous at the try outs I think I would have gotten a call back. Damn it anyways. September 15th, 2007 at approx. 7:20 pm I lost my virginity. I dont know if I should be happy or sad. Im not religous by any means but I feel like ive broken a promise to myself. But hell Ive broken a lotta promises to myself. The sex was ok. I didnt climax but I figured I wouldnt on my first time. It hurt like hell though. I was really tired when we didnt and I feel like it could have been better. I need to get skinny. I've become overly obsessed with drinking Arizona Green Tea in the cans. Its amazing. I should just stick to consuming like 2 of those a day and thats it. I'm afraid I will get pregnant. And ive been having dreams about being pregnant. And my dreams sometimes end up being like this 'seeing into the future thing'. But I hope not. I was like freaking out after we did it. I felt kinda bad. Cuz I got him to freak out. And it was dumb. I got home and started crying. And finally got to sleep and I woke up the next morning and started to cry. Idk. Im just really scared. Cuz it would be completely horrid if I had a baby now. Uhhh. I'm just kinda realived that im not a virgin anymore. I think its kinda romantic that we both took each others virginities and we're 17 years old. Hmmm. Anywho im like dead tired and I have like 2 canker sores and I have a cold. Yuck. I should get on some nyquil. yay. good night..