(no subject)
Ok. Its been awhile. Or so it seems. I feel like I could type in this journal forever. Haha. Ok so I cant stop eating. And its not like healthy good-for-you foods. Its like junk food. And at this very moment I am in pain because ive overeaten. Yuck. I am so pathetic. Well my boyfriend seems to be confusing me more and more. He invites me to things before hand and forgets he did and I end up uninvited. And even that sentence sounds confusing... anywho... So yesterday I was like uber depressed all day. I visited my grandmother and mother. Which was cool and stuff but then I went home to an empty house and sat around when I had planned to go out with my boyfriend who obviously didnt want me along. Its just that he seems like he wants me around but then idk! Seriously its the most confusing thing I cant even explain it. Its like he wants me because he knows I will always be there for him when he wants me. And lately all he ever says to me is how "hot" I look. And he messes around a lot by calling me a "slut" and a "whore". Two things that he KNOWS I am not. But he thinks its playful. Uhh its getting so annoying. And the stupid thing is that I still love him to death. I am just stupid. I decided on a fast starting tomorrow. Idk how long to go though. Perhaps a week. I think I can do it. I start work at a grocery store tomorrow as well. Maybe working will keep me from getting bored which leads to unnessecary eating. Ive been hanging out with my girlfriends lately which feels great. I've been thinking about smokeing again. Ive only smoked like 3 times in my whole life. But Im so depressed and uninterested is everything anymore that it doesnt matter. Anywho Im exausted and so I'm gunna shower and go to bed. With my overstuffed stomach that radiates this excrucating pain. :'( I think I will cry myself to sleep tonight.