(no subject)
I never should have moved back here. That night, I should have ended it. The night when I lost everything. That night I felt myself slip out of reality. Everything before that was a dream, and after a nightmare. The real world stopped existing that night. I thought I had to survive, I thought I had to find my way home. But I was wrong. I should have slipped over that edge, I should have yanked my bike into that oncoming truck. I felt myself change that night, I knew it was something terrible and serious, that I had lost myself. I thought I could find it again maybe one day. But that was a mistake. I'll never find what I lost. That should have been my final night. That was the night I could have done it. That was the night it would have been so easy to do it. I wish I did.