ISSUE #001: BREAKING THE ICE
PRESENTING
THE ADVENTURES OF SCIENCE BROS #1
BREAKING THE ICE
STARRING
THE INCREDIBLE HULK (BRUCE BANNER),
THE WASP (HANK PYM),
THE INVINCIBLE IRON MAN (TONY STARK),
and
MR. FANTASTIC (REED RICHARDS)
***
SAN DIEGO ZOO, CALIFORNIA.
"What are you three doing here?" Iron Man landed down in front of the polar bear exhibit, right next to Bruce Banner, Reed Richards, and Hank Pym. Banner was dressed in a white dress shirt and purple pants, Reed in his Fantastic Four suit, and Hank in the Wasp outfit. "Pepper said the Zoo couldn't get you, Reed."
"They called me," Hank said, "and we'd just been discussing intergalactic languages and using the Ant-Man helmet to decipher and intercept--"
"Hank? The point?" Iron Man said.
Even through the Wasp goggles, Tony could see Hank glaring. "A solid coated over the top of the polar bear exhibit. They had some of the UCLA and UCSD scientists look at it, but they can't tell what it is. They've evacuated the zoo just in case it's a threat."
Iron Man looked over at the polar bear exhibit. There was a thick sheet of what looked like ice over the water. He scanned it with his armor, but the scan showed nothing remotely similar to anything on Earth. "The molecular structures--"
"--are all stronger than anything we've ever known," Hank was saying. "It has a higher thermal conductivity than diamonds and a higher cleavage."
"And it appeared out of nowhere," Iron Man said.
"It didn't appear out of nowhere," Reed said, frowning. "It came out of an intergalactic portal."
Bruce sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's called an expression, Reed."
Reed extended his legs and stepped over the barrier between the polar bear exhibit, placing himself on a patch of land not covered by ice. "It's an inaccurate expression," he said, as he moved his other leg over.
Bruce opened his mouth to respond and Iron Man held up his hand. "Relax," he said. He flew into the polar bear exhibit and landed on the ground in front of the ice. It seemed two feet deep. "Wow." Iron Man reached down to touch it.
Iron Man barely registered Hank's cry of "WAIT!" as his armored hand came in contact with the ice, and then, as though coming alive, the layer of ice seized his arm and started peeling the armor off. "AAAAAGH!" He fired his repulsor ray and drew back, holding his arm.
CRUNCH! The ice seemed to swallow the armor, and then spit it back out onto the ground in front of Iron Man's feet. It was now coated with a thick shell of whatever the substance was.
Hank, small and in the air, grew back to six feet, his wings retracting as he hit the ground with practice grace. "You idiot!"
Reed walked over, peering down at the arm. "There's nothing missing, right?"
"Don't sound so disappointed, Reed." Iron Man scowled. Emergency readings flashed across his screen. "What happened?"
"It... eats things," Hank said. "Mostly metal. One of the attendants found out when she tried to break it with a hammer. She broke her arm."
"At least we have a sample."
Reed frowned. "Hold on--"
The ice seemed to shake a moment, and then it grew, spreading onto the ground they were standing on.
Hank, Reed, and Iron Man all looked at each other.
"The Baxter Building," Reed said.
"We'll use the Infinity Mansion's lab."
"My things are there," Bruce shouted. He looked . . . peeved.
"He's right," Iron Man said. "The Infinity Mansion. Besides, you can always use a door to get back to the Baxter Building if you need anything."
Hank could not have looked more smug.
*
THE INFINITY MANSION.
Hank stalked into the lab, his arms crossed over his chest. "Tony, it grew again. It hadn't grown for an hour until YOU touched it."
Tony scowled and dropped the remains of his armor's arm down on the table. "Okay, fine, go ahead! Add metastasizing alien ice to the list of things that are my fault!"
"Yeah, cry more, Princess. That's going to help us."
Reed raised an eyebrow. "Us? I think I can do it faster, Hank. Even with your lack of proper materials."
Hank's eyes could not have been any angrier--even if he'd found out that all his anthills had been knocked over by the Fantasticar. "Really?"
"Can it, you two." Bruce frowned. "We'll never get any work done if you keep bickering."
Everyone stared at him.
"... let's get to work," Tony said.
"Good idea, Tony," Hank said.
Bruce sighed.
*
THIRTY MINUTES LATER.
"Well," Tony said, clearing his throat, "according to my calculations, we have about a day before it engulfs the whole zoo."
Hank peered into the microscope, elbowing Tony. "What about just the bear exhibit? And scoot over, you're in my space."
"It'll be gone in the next two hours." Tony frowned, but moved his chair over a couple inches.
There was a crash in the next room. "DAMNIT REED!" Bruce yelled. "Can you not leave your legs all over the place?!"
Tony and Hank looked at each other. "Your turn," they said at the same time.
"Rock, Paper, Scissors?"
*
1.5 HOURS LATER
Tony was fast asleep on the table, snoring gently. Hank, sitting next to him, had a full chemistry set in front of him.
"I'm making a breakthrough here," Hank said, "if I can just find the conditions that caused it--"
"The exhibit's gone," Bruce said. "The Zoo called to ask if they should contact the X-Men instead."
"What?"
Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. "I have an idea."
Hank frowned. "What idea?"
Bruce glared. "Instead of removing the ice from the exhibit like you and Reed seem so keen on, it might be easier to create a bacteria that can eat the--"
"But the hardness--"
"It is organic. Remember when it turned amorphous when it came in contact with--"
Hank held up a hand. "Does Reed know about this?"
"Uh... no?"
Hank grinned. "Great. Let's get to work."
*
1 HOUR LATER.
"Why is Tony asleep?" Reed carried a vat out of his lab area.
"Late meeting," Hank said, removing his own vat from a fridge. "Still trying to piece together his company. At least he actually remembers everything now. I was worried he was going to call me Yellowjacket forever." Hank peered suspiciously at Reed's vat. "What's that?"
Reed raised an eyebrow. "Bacteria meant to induce the--"
"--the amorphous state of the ice so the bacteria can feed on it."
Reed narrowed his eyes. Hank grinned.
"Mine will work better," Hank said.
"Ours," Bruce said. "Ours will work better."
Reed sniffed. "Combined genius does not necessarily mean better genius, Hank."
"Results speak louder than words, Dr. Richards. Let's see whose bacteria are better. To the zoo!"
Bruce cleared this throat. "What about Tony?"
"Oh yeah," Hank said. He handed the vat to Bruce. "You two go ahead. And don't spill my vat, Bruce."
"Our vat," Bruce said, sighing, but Hank wasn't even listening anymore.
*
SAN DIEGO ZOO, CALIFORNIA.
The polar exhibit really was engulfed in the ice, which was now making its way over the top of the exhibit, like foam over the top of a cup. Tony stared worriedly at the glass barrier. Tony wasn't sure the glass was going to hold under the perssure of the ice. Nonetheless, he summoned the Bleeding Edge armor and picked up the cold bucket of bacteria.
"Ready?" Reed asked. "It's set to grow again in half a minute." He held his own vat in his hands, his legs stretched high so he could hold it over the ice.
"Don't mess up, Tony!"
"I won't."
"Three," Bruce said, "two.... one!"
Tony dumped the contents of the vat onto the ice.
For a moment, nothing happened. Then the bacteria seemed to fizzle; the ice became a slush and shrank in on itself.
"It's working!?" Hank grinned in disbelief.
Then, suddenly: CRACK! The ice in the barrier broke and a long, solid tendril appeared. Tony scanned it with his armor, avoiding its writhing mass, and then--
"HANK!" Tony dived down and grabbed Hank by the waist, plucking him off the ground. "Damn it Hank!"
Just behind them, the tendril slammed down on the ground, splitting the concrete.
"God, Tony, I really should have factored it becoming aggressive into--"
"Not the time, Hank!" Tony had a vice grip on Hank's body.
"Wait, I have to check which solution triggered--"
"I SAID, NOT THE TIME!"
The ice monster was changing. It looked like something that was half-crab, half-octopus--fully armored--and about the size of a two-story house. "This is not how I imagined my day going," Tony mumbled. He spotted Reed and Bruce next to zebra pen, which was just outside the polar bear exhibit. Reed was waving his arms in a manner that suggested he was talking down to Bruce, and Bruce's hands were clenched into fists.
Tony landed and dropped Hank on the ground. Tony started: "Bruce--"
"Don't tell me to calm down."
"I have to get back to the Baxter Building," Reed said, glaring at Hank and Tony. "We could have solved this hours ago if we'd just used my supplies."
Hank's eyes were murderous. "You did have access to the Baxter Building."
Tony facepalmed. Whatever act of fate had brought them together had to have a horrible sense of humor.
A looming shadow advanced over Bruce. Tony saw it first and raised his hand, as if to fire a repulsor.
"That's not necessary," Bruce said, "I'm fine--"
"DUCK!"
Bruce turned, his eyes wide. Tony grabbed Hank and Reed, propelling them to safety just as one of the armored arms crushed Bruce under its immense weight.
"Oh god . . . " Tony groaned, flying them both towards the door to the Infinity Mansion. "No--"
CRACK!! The arm snapped in two, and a big, green shadow emerged from beneath the arm with a thunderous roar.
Hank's shoulders sagged. He stared at the Hulk and at the ice monster. ". . . nuts. I was looking forward to comparing my results."
"I'm going to drop you if you keep talking." Tony landed in front of the door to the Infinity Mansion. Behind them, the ice monster was having a wrestling match with the Hulk. "Look, go figure this out. I'm going to do some damage control on the Hulk and the Cthulu thing."
Reed turned to Tony. "That's not Cthu--"
"Get out of here before I punch you, Reed."
*
When Tony returned to the polar bear exhibit, the Hulk had left a path of destruction practically a mile wide. Animal pens had been torn open; habitats completely wrecked. Tony scanned the ground and managed to capture a few meerkats and place them back in an isolated cage.
As for the ice monster, it lay in pieces on the ground, many of its arms still moving. They were still near the polar exhibit, though, which looked surprisingly untouched.
Tony found Bruce passed out under an overhang with a New Guinea Singing Dog licking his face. "Good dog," Tony said, when the dog saw him, and Tony picked him up in his arms. He and knelt down beside him, scanning his vitals. Only superficial injuries--scratches and a few bruises. Good. He patted Bruce gently on the cheek. "Wake up."
Bruce groaned and rolled onto his side, putting a hand to his forehead. "I'm... back."
"Yeah," Tony said. "Getting better all the time. Gotta say, Hulk did a good job with the ice alien." His armor detected movement behind him and he looked around. "Huh?" Damn. The arm was moving--it was bigger--
"What?" Bruce got up, staring. "It's grow--"
"Yeah," Tony said. "And Hulk snapped a lot of them in half. Or tore them apart. If all of them are growing back..."
"That's not good," Bruce said.
"No." Tony petted the singing dog in his arms. "We should go."
"You're taking the dog?"
Tony nodded. "They're rare. Reed can probably clone some."
A few meters away, the ground split and tore open with a thundering roar. A complete, smaller version of the ice crab emerged, its tentacles waving in the air.
Tony put the dog into Bruce's arms. "Hold this." He grounded himself and rerouted power to the unibeam--100%.
Then, before he could fire, it disappeared in a blink of an eye.
"What?"
"I didn't do that," Tony said.
"No." Hank appeared, his wings shrinking into his back as he grew. He held what looked like an advanced laser gun in his hands. "I did." He flashed a grin at Tony.
"We did," Reed said, rounding the corner, a gun in his hands as well. "We found the coordinates of the creature and sent them back home. After we checked for civilization--which only contained these creatures."
". . . and we couldn't do that first?"
Hank frowned. "I wanted to run tests on it! Wouldn't you?"
Tony clenched his hands into fists. "No, Hank!"
"Um, guys?" Bruce was scratching the singing dog behind the ears. "Guys?"
"Well, what if it were a robot?" Hank threw his hands into the air.
"I'd wait until it was deactivated!"
"No, you wouldn't!"
"GUYS!" The dog in Bruce's hand whimpered. "There are a lot of creatures left, and if we don't stop them, they're going to destroy the whole zoo!"
"Right," Hank said, turning away from Tony. "Reed, let's go take care of it. With the gun I designed."
"It had several fundamental flaws when you first proposed it."
"So? It was my idea!"
Tony banged his head against his hands.
*
EPILOGUE.
"Just bill Tony Stark."
The President of the Board of Trustees glared daggers at Tony. His face was purple, his lip set into an ugly line. Tony tried to look over his head, but behind the Board was the land waste of what used to be the polar exhibit. It hadn't gone so well after Reed and Hank had started arguing about sustaining alien life on earth.
"Don't worry," Tony said, "I'll send a crew."
"Be glad you're in an iron suit, Mr. Stark, or you would be missing an eye. Now give me the dog." But before he could hand it over, the President snatched the dog from Tony's arms and started walking back toward the zoo's crew, who had spent the last couple hours wrangling stray animals into their pens.
Tony sighed. "She could have at least let me keep the dog."
"Well, at least we won't have to do this again," Hank said. "I was getting tired of Reed stealing all the credit."
"You three are impossible." Tony readied his jet boots. "I'll see you later, Hank. Goodbye, Reed. And Bruce."
"I kind of enjoyed this," Bruce said quietly.
"Don't jinx it, Bruce," Tony said, setting coordinates for Los Angeles. "The last thing this world needs is for the four of us to work together again."
*
THE NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM, NIGHT-TIME.
Everything quiet.
Suddenly, an egg cracked open, and a small tooth appeared.
THE END (for now)