Shattering Illusions
CHAPTER 3
The party didn't official start until an hour and a half later. That was when everyone started showing up in groups of ten or more.
Like asked, Jessica had made her way downstairs before the party started and helped pin up the remaining decorations and set the snack table. They didn't exchange words and the only form of eye-contact was when the table was set Tiffany smiled at her as a way of thanks for her assistance. It was just another of her ways trying to be kind and thank Jessica without saying it.
Jessica had tried to stay with the crowd as much as she could, greeting the people who entered or starting small talk. That later died down just as quickly as it had started. When the drinks began being handed out Jessica knew it was her time to leave.
The alcohol will make the teenagers do stupid things and she didn't want to be on the end of some football jock trying to flirt with her. She also had no interest in making out with them, she could not say the same for a couple down the hall to the kitchen.
Squeezing her way through the roaring crowd, Jessica felt her stomach turn when she spotted Tiffany kissing some guy on the couch. She was sitting on his lap and he was getting much too touchy for Jessica's standards. It wasn't the jock Jessica had seen before, but someone else who might have been a friend of one of the jocks here.
Buckets of emotions poured to Jessica's shoulders, embarrassment for her seeing her best friend get too cozy with some random guy, anger for seeing Tiffany be so careless to allow that guy to touch her, jealousy, and the most overpowering that made her stomach feel sick was sadness. Jessica wanted more than anything than to cry because she had felt so foolish and her emotions left her crushed.
She knew they were never dating and in the back of her head she knew Tiffany wasn't into girls, but all their encounters had brought hope even if Jessica tried to ignore them. Biting back her tears and fueled with anger, Jessica ran toward the stairs and rushed to the bathroom. She turned on the faucet and cupped her hands together.
Jessica pressed the water to her face to bring down the redness and rubbed her hand to the back of her neck. She took several deep breathes before splashing water on to her face again and stared into the sink, waiting for her thoughts to settle down. The buzzing of the music from downstairs was a comforting hum in a small space that seemed to make Jessica feel more lonely than comfortable.
She wanted to rationalize Tiffany's action. She knew Tiffany liked to drink and was sure she had been doing it before entering high school. As if she weren't wild enough, Tiffany could be more bold drunk than sober, but Jessica couldn't find herself to accept that reasoning.
Even if it wasn't in her nature to begin with, Jessica wanted Tiffany to only be faithful to her. It took an extra ten minutes for Jessica to be completely at ease, but her desire to be downstairs just because it was Tiffany's request was something she can no longer do. The only option left now was to spend the rest of the night in her room.
She had brought her laptop over in case she got bored of the party and will probably spend two hours surfing the net for anything that kept her thoughts still. Taking a few more deep breaths, Jessica walked over and opened the door.
“Tiffany?” Jessica croaked.
“Hey, I was looking for you.” Tiffany smiled. “I brought you a drink. It will help you loosen up a little and enjoy the party a little more.”
Jessica noticed a bottle of beer in Tiffany's right hand. It was already opened and she was sure Tiffany had been taking a few drinks from it as she made her way upstairs. Taking a closer look to her features, Jessica couldn't figure out if Tiffany was drunk, but she had to be at least tipsy because her behavior was more open. The smile on her face was even different.
“No, it's okay. I don't drink.” Jessica declined. “I want to go to bed.”
Tiffany entered the bathroom and put her arm around Jessica's waist. She gasped when she felt Tiffany's mouth against her neck. Even the way she kissed her was different, it was a little sloppy, but tender.
Jessica had more view of Tiffany's gentle nature. She kissed Jessica's cheek and hugged her. With Tiffany's full weight pressing against her, Jessica stumbled back trying to find her foot again and leaned against the sink for support.
“You can't go to bed.” Tiffany whined, several more kisses rained down Jessica's neck. “I'm so horny right now.”
Jessica yelped as Tiffany's hand easily slipped into her shorts and rubbed against her clit. Tiffany kissed Jessica's nose and sighed. The evidence of alcohol was clear in her breath and it made Jessica cringe.
Eager to get some distance, Jessica pushed Tiffany back but she was much more persistent and Tiffany was stronger. She got a hold of Jessica's wrist and pinned it on to the sink and kissed her. The alcohol was bitter and too strong to ignore.
Jessica managed to pull away to catch her breath but Tiffany took it has her chance to press the bottle neck to her mouth and pour the liquid inside. She used her other hand to keep Jessica's mouth closed.
Coughing and trying to talk some sense into Tiffany, Jessica had unwillingly ingest the beer still trying to talk, while the remains of it spilled out the edges of her mouth. The cold drink wet the top half of her shirt and landed on her sneakers. It was almost instant when the alcohol started to take effect.
Jessica's head felt clogged and her body two times lighter that she was sure she felt her legs begin to sway. The last two mouthfuls, Jessica willing gulped down. Tiffany laughed.
“Jessi, are you already drunk?!” She cooed. “That's so cute! You're such a light drinker.”
Sluggishly, Jessica placed a hand to her cheeks and felt the heat radiating from drinking just one bottle. Her whole head felt hazy. Tiffany put the empty bottle down and helped Jessica to her room.
Through the drowsiness, Jessica still had her rational thoughts buzzing around in her head. She had not forgotten where she was, or what she had seen.
The image was still clear in her head, the way Tiffany threw herself on to that guy. It left an imprint so strong Jessica got angry again and she found the strength in herself to push Tiffany away and slammed herself into the door frame.
“Jessica! What is wrong with you?” Tiffany complained, finding her footing and reaching over to help Jessica up.
Jessica wasn't sure what got her to be more courageous, she figured it was the alcohol, but when Tiffany had come over she pushed her again. The anger swelled in size to about the shape of a softball in her stomach. The tightness in her throat came back but Jessica wasn't able to control it this time.
She felt the flush of tears build then burst free. She was flustered, filled with shame to have allowed herself to be this weak, and sad that she couldn't get what she wanted the most, Tiffany's love.
In rage, Jessica tackled Tiffany to the ground and heard her grunt when she hit the floor with Jessica on top. Blindly, she hit her, small curled in fist smacking down Tiffany's arms and chest until she started to recognize the pain and fight back. The tears made it harder to see and Jessica's aim poor, but the overflow of emotions kept her fueled to try and hit Tiffany anyway.
Having enough of her rage, Tiffany got a hold of Jessica's hands and flipped them over. Jessica felt her head smack the floor and her brain racked around having an all too familiar feeling like the day after she had uncomplainingly gave her virginity to the girl she had just tried to beat. The anger in Tiffany's face washed away the second she noticed Jessica's face, red from the alcohol and tears, nose runny from crying.
“I love you.” Jessica whispered.
Tiffany smiled, brushing the tips of her fingers along Jessica's neck. “I know.” She whispered.
Jessica didn't have to say it. Tiffany already knew. She knew Jessica wanted her love. They were best friends, it wasn't hard for Tiffany to find out.
Jessica felt the weight on her chest lessen, feeling much lighter. The lack of a reaction, however, left more of an imprint and Jessica had felt defeated. Tiffany reached down and kissed her. The contact tender and comforting it made Jessica's heart race and her breath stop for just a second.
Slowly, Tiffany removed her shirt first, keeping Jessica at ease by keeping some sort of skin-to-skin contact. The encounter was different, the closeness, and the tenderness of Tiffany's touches. Jessica for once, had not felt used.
She would willing accept Tiffany's love, even if it were fake, because it made Jessica's world seem perfect. She wanted to believe they were okay, that they were a real couple. The dream was more comforting than the reality.