Where There Are No Happily Ever Afters: Chapter Thirteen
Author's Note: Here we are at the end, a bittersweet time. This is officially the longest fan fiction I've written, and also one of the weirdest, and I really appreciate everyone that took the time to read and review. BTW, I'm pretty thrilled that this week's episode of House showed Arlene pissed about his and Cuddy's breakup. I must be clairvoyant. Oh, and this chapter is super-long compared to the others, but I really couldn't make my tiny Epilogue its own chapter.
Author's Note 2: The Charmed scene at the end is from Love's a Witch.
The sun had long since set in the New Jersey sky by the time that Amber, Wilson, and House made it to the hospital. It didn't look different, Wilson supposed, but there was a strange sort of energy in the air that set him on edge. He found his hand reaching out to House's of its own accord, and when the long fingers wove through his own, he felt warmth spread through his arm .
"Would you relax," House's deep voice murmured against his ear. "I'm not in the least bit scared of my vindictive ex-mother-in-law-to-be."
"That's not a real thing," Amber stated, and they all stepped through the sliding glass doors.
And stopped dead in their tracks.
All around them was silence. There were no patients walking around, no doctors or nurses. A quick glance to their right showed that Cuddy wasn't in her office. All the hospital lights were dim. And it wasn't even storming, so what, other than lightening, would cause such a power surge? But of course Wilson knew.
"Arlene did this," House said, so matter-of-factly that Wilson and Amber both turned to him. "Don't ask me how - I'm a little low on details. Like, for example, where all the people went. Or, maybe I shouldn't be assuming. Who's to say that she didn't turn them invisible?"
Deciding that this was a rhetorical question, they continued their trek another four steps before they froze again. "Do you hear that," Amber whispered, but even as she spoke, the sound became louder and more pronounced.
If it wasn't Wilson's imagination, behind the nurse's station he was pretty sure he was hearing . . .
Moaning.
"Oh my God," Wilson gasped. "She summoned Bloody Mary."
Amber and House snorted simultaneously. "You do know how to lighten the mood," Amber said, then with a deep breath (she wasn't fooling Wilson) she leaned over the side to look. "It's Cuddy!"
House and Wilson drew closer, and, sure enough, the Dean of Medicine lay bound and gagged behind the nurse's station, shrieking at the top of her lungs. Which, due to the towel tied securely around her mouth, was not, in itself, very effective.
Wilson was the first to move, and he flew to Cuddy's side to undo the knots. "What happened," he asked, none too gently, because the time for that had passed.
"My mom," Cuddy choked out, the bewilderment clear on her face. "I don't really get it. She showed up here, which I thought was weird, you know, considering everything. But, of course, I thought she was here to see me, so I started to walk over to her, and this young guy-"
"Minion," Amber muttered knowingly to House.
"Grabbed me from behind, saying that I couldn't interfere. And my mom started . . ." She paused to stare at them imploringly. "Chanting. Chanting, and everyone in the whole damn hospital just left." The vulnerability she'd been exhibiting suddenly hardened with determination. "What is going on?"
And Wilson knew that they had a choice. They could focus their efforts on helping Cuddy regain her memory, and enlist her help as well, or they could just send her away from the danger and hope she returned to normal when they fixed everything. He wished there was time to reach her, but they couldn't chance Arlene actually harming someone in her efforts to, well, kill them.
"Cuddy," Amber said quietly. She stole a glance at him and he saw that they agreed. "Listen to me. Your mom is sick. And we need to get to her, like, now. We aren't going to hurt her, but I'm warning you if that if you don't get out of here, odds are you're going to die in a way you'd never imagined. Tonight."
"My mother isn't going to kill me!"
"Not a bet I would take."
Cuddy's eyes widened slightly as she absorbed the information, but their serious expressions seemed to knock sense back into her. "Okay. I'll let you guys handle it if you're sure I can't help."
"Positive," House replied. "Now get the hell out of here."
She and Wilson got to their feet, and as he stepped back to House, he automatically found the other man's steadying hand.
Cuddy gave them a speculative glance. "You're a couple now? You and Wilson?"
"That's right," House snapped, and Wilson couldn't help but feel a surge of pride at the absence of hesitation. "I'm sorry, Cuddy, but it's always been Wilson."
"Always? You've only known him for-"
"Please feel free to discuss this at length," Amber interjected sarcastically. "Not like we have anything pressing to do."
Cuddy's gaze swept across the three of them before she departed without another word.
"Well, that wasn't awkward at all," Amber quipped as they continued their search.
Minutes ticked by as they checked each room on the bottom level until they had looped back around to their starting place. An ominous boom erupted above them, and they exchanged a nervous look.
"How are we going to get upstairs," Wilson asked, thinking of House's injured leg.
As if in response the elevator dinged in front of them, then opened, a clear invitation.
"Possessed elevators are not exactly what I had in mind.."
"Better ideas," House polled, and when the other two came up blank he gave a short nod and led the way.
"I feel like I should at least ask, she's not going to, like, raise us up a couple of levels and then let us smash into the floor, is she," Amber inquired, a little fearfully as the doors closed behind them.
Wilson and House didn't answer.
No one wasted time pressing a floor number, knowing that Arlene was controlling them. And no one was surprised when it dinged on the top floor.
There was a moment where nobody moved until Amber suddenly turned and faced them. "I kinda get the feeling that this is it," she said softly.
House gave a half-nod of acknowledgment. "Yeah, that's probably true." He shifted from one foot to the other, his eyes moving from Amber to Wilson and back again. "We're going to have to do the emotional goodbye thing, aren't we?"
"Afraid so," she replied, then she took Wilson's hands. "Don't be sad. I know how you get about this kind of stuff, but I mean, I'll be around." She grinned. "When you can't find you keys check your desk drawer."
Wilson stared back at her, wondering how he was supposed to do this again . He'd gotten a taste of a perfect world, and brave words or not, he could barely believe that if this worked, it would go back to being just him and House. An improved relationship to be sure, but he couldn't pretend that he wouldn't notice the void where the frustrating blond had been. But he reminded himself that he couldn't let this become about him and what made him happy. He summoned a mental image of the first patient of House's that came to mind, the young, adopted, Chinese girl that had been instrumental in their reconciliation. Were her parents visiting her in a hospital somewhere, or laying flowers on her grave?
"I'll miss you," he told Amber, pulling her into a tight hug. "Would have been nice, though."
"I know." They let each other go, and she turned to House. "It was fun."
He rolled his eyes. "Whatever." But then his expression, well, it didn't soften, exactly, but relaxed just a bit. "You can move my keys around too, if you want."
She smiled. "I'll keep that in mind."
Another ear-splitting BOOM swept by them, coming from the rooftop outside, and Wilson realized they had all made a grave miscalculation. "We don't have weapons," he gasped. "What . . . What are we supposed to do?"
"That's not exactly true," Amber answered brightly. "I swiped-" She fished into her purse, and withdrew three of the oddest knives that Wilson had ever seen. "These from Mrs. Cuddy's. They're athames," she continued, passing each of them their own. "According to Wielding the Right Weapon they can kill anything."
"Including friends' parents? You must be kidding."
House frowned at Wilson's sarcasm. "You don't have to attack her. But if you think you're going out there unarmed you've got another think coming. No way in hell."
"Oh, fine," Wilson relented, though in his opinion it wasn't fair of House to use the Caring Boyfriend routine. It was hard for him to focus on his arguments when he really wanted to spend his time coming up with NC-17 rated ways to show his gratitude. "Let's do this."
The door to the roof let out a mighty creeeeeeak when they swung it open, though it hardly mattered, considering the outdoor commotion. They couldn't immediately identify the source, such was the confusion, but they had no problem spotting Arlene.
Her white hair seemed to stand out against the black sky, and though Wilson knew she was medium height, you couldn't tell by the imperious look in her eye, the way she stared them all down, as though she was the tallest there. Street clothes had been discarded for dark and regal robes. "So you've finally made it," she snarled, glaring at them from across the roof. "I've been waiting-"
"All of an hour," Amber interrupted.
"Seems longer." She turned her attention to Wilson. "You had to just fuck everything up, didn't you? Something wrong with the life I gave you?"
Wilson blinked at her. "There's no House," he answered honestly. "But, tell you what, next time you change the world I'll stick with whatever ex-wife you send my way."
"Oh, there won't be a next time."
"Very ominous," Amber called approvingly, taking a step forward. Wilson instinctively tensed. "You've made a very effective Evil Witch. Very scary."
Arlene gave her a gracious smile. "Thank you, dear. I will say, I'm surprised to see you fighting with these two to change everything back. Won't that kill you?" Wilson flinched at the harsh reminder until House rested a hand between his shoulder blades.
"We're giving you one chance to reset everything, no violence," House said, his lips tight with anger. "Though, for the record, I was out-voted."
"Brave words, considering you're about to die."
"You're wrong," Wilson snapped, though when another breeze blew through his hair he felt his stomach tie up in knots. He tried to remind himself that wind wasn't exactly the most terrifying part of all of this, but it didn't soothe his nerves.
Arlene shrugged, then moved closer. "Maybe," she answered. "I've just never seen a mortal kill a dragon before."
Dread filled Wilson, rooting him to his spot. Dragon, his mind whispered. Did she say 'dragon?'
Another wave of cold, another movement of air. Then House's hands were on his shoulders, yanking him backwards, probably looking for shelter, but what shelter they would find on the roof, Wilson had no idea. Nevertheless, he allowed his legs to comply as his eyes searched the sky. And what he saw nearly knocked him breathless.
There, high above them, with scales as black as coal, and beady red eyes that were totally focused on the three of them, was a dragon. A live, breathing, flying dragon.
"We're gonna die."
"Wilson, stop it." House grabbed his wrist and together the three ducked around a wall. "We're going to get out of this; we just need a plan."
Amber spun around and faced them, her eyes blazing with excitement. "I've got us covered. The two of you get Arlene - keep her busy. I think I can get the dragon."
"The dragon," Wilson shrieked. "You have to be kidding."
"Look, I'm dead anyway."
"Amber."
"Don't get sentimental about this, Wilson. You can't. You and House have to distract Arlene, keep her mind off her overgrown pet. Hopefully if she starts focusing on the two of you she'll lose her control over the dragon and it'll give me an opportunity to-" She swept her index finger horizontally along her neck
Wilson stared at her, taking in every inch of her face. He promised himself that he'd never forget the way she looked right then - so determined, sharp, ready to give it all. So full of life. "Okay," he finally replied, then he turned to House. "You ready to be rid of the mother-in-law from hell?"
House grinned. "You have no idea."
So with as much courage as they could summon, the two men left their hiding spot and faced the woman responsible for the insanity, all the while trying to ignore the still-circling dragon.
"Just to be clear," House called to her, "you think it's going to be less painful for this Cuddy - whom I've apparently been with for a very long time - to deal with me dying than it is for the real Cuddy to deal with us being broken up? A break up that she instigated, by the way. Seems like flawed thinking to me."
"Stop talking," she instructed, and as Wilson watched, her eyes moved from the beast that she had been so carefully watching to the men standing before her. "You don't know anything about my daughter."
"By choice." Wilson hoped that House was being intentionally frustrating (as this was often the case) to distract her and not just trying to piss off the woman so hell-bent on killing them. "My tastes have-" He glanced at Wilson. "Improved. Vastly."
There was a sudden WOOSH of cold air and he knew that that meant that the huge beast Amber was taking on by herself had landed by her. He forced his mind to go somewhere else, to not think about the goings-on behind him, and chose to keep his gaze locked on Arlene. "You won't win," he said with more confidence than he felt. "We've been through too much to lose now."
"How very sad for you."
A sharp, female scream interrupted them, and they all turned to see Amber, sprawled on her back, a long gash that ran from her elbow to her wrist now decorating her arm. She stared down at her new injury in stunned disbelief as the beast, sensing Amber's split focus, began closing in on her.
Wilson turned to House just in time to see the man swing his cane out and make contact with Arlene Cuddy's left calf. There was a crack and with a howl of pain, Arlene bent over to grasp her leg between her hands. Wilson could tell just by looking that his . . . boyfriend or whatever hadn't broken it or caused any lasting damage, but he had succeeded in his endeavor to keep Arlene's mind-controlled dragon away from Amber, who scrambled to her feet.
"You despicable, little prick," Arlene screamed at House, hobbling towards them as quickly as her leg would allow.
But it wasn't fast enough.
The tiny interruption House had afforded Amber was plenty. With the dragon's master now focusing completely on House and Wilson, the dragon, himself, turned to the pair as well, not noticing the tiny human advancing on it with lightening speed.
The rest was a blur. There was a flash of moonlight against the blade as Amber swung it up, the sound of soft flesh as it pierced the dragon's heart, and the bright smile that spread across Amber's face when she realized that in that second she had won.
Then there was nothing. Whiteness filled Wilson, surrounded him. There was bright light everywhere, even behind his lids when he closed his eyes. He wanted to scream, to reach for House's hand, but he made no sound, and didn't move.
Am I dead, Wilson wondered.
"Ow! Wilson, you're squashing my arm." Someone was speaking to him. "Wilson. Hello, Wilson? You're on my arm."
Slowly Wilson cracked his eyes open.
He was no longer bathed in white light, but was now laying face-down on . . . "House," he cried, rolling over to give him room, then before he could check himself, he threw his arms around his friend, the man that had been his soulmate since day one. "House, oh God. We're alive! And . . ." He looked around at their surroundings which were, at that moment, his loft. His loft. In his life. "We're home."
House chuckled lowly into his shoulder, and the sound warmed Wilson from his toes to his hair. "Seems that way."
"You remember everything?" He still didn't shift his arms from House's waist.
"Every gory detail."
Wilson finally pulled away and looked into his eyes. "I love you," he told him, stroking the side of House's face with his fingertips.
"You're such a girl." House rolled his eyes. "But I love you too."
Epilogue
Wilson frowned deeply at the Sudoku book laying on the bed in front of him. This puzzle was supposed to be a medium, and yet he'd been working on the same line for over twenty minutes. He shifted from laying on his stomach to on his side, propping his head up with his hand. As he moved, his feet bumped up against House, who was sitting on the other end of the bed, straight up against the headboard, staring at the T.V.
"Excuse me a second. Who's this," the man on the screen was asking Piper Halliwell. It was much to Wilson's chagrin that House had taken to watching Charmed in the weeks since their return.
"Me," Chris Halliwell asked. "I'm from the future."
"We should try that next," House joked, continuing to watch the screen.
"Time travel," Wilson answered. "No way. Sounds too confusing." He narrowed his eyes at the puzzle again. Okay, well, if the two couldn't go there, or there, and it was already in that box there, then that would mean-
"Wilson."
"What?" He couldn't pull his eyes away. If he did he would lose his place.
"Wilson."
"What?!"
"Your dead girlfriend is here."
Wilson jumped a mile at the startling words, then looked up. And there she stood. Or, appeared to stand, anyway. She was transparent now, so she was more floating than anything else. "Amber?"
She grinned. "I only get a minute, but I had to see how things have been. No more issues from Arlene?"
"Not a one," House said. "I think you must have really scared her, when you killed the dragon. You were very impressive."
"Thanks." She glanced at Wilson. "And how've you been? Okay?"
He gave a genuine smile back. "Better than I thought I'd be. I miss you, but you have been very dedicated with the key-hiding."
"Glad to be of service."
"Speaking of which," House chimed in. "I'm really glad that you think of me too. Really, I am. But could you start hiding something less annoying of mine? It took me a half an hour to find them last time."
"That really doesn't sound like my problem."
"So glad I discussed this with you," House muttered sarcastically, but Wilson had known him long enough to recognize the light in his eyes.
"Well," Amber said, "I'm afraid I've already got to go. Just had to see with my own eyes that you guys were okay. Thought maybe you'd joined me when I didn't see you at the loft last week."
"Got a new place," Wilson explained. "It felt fitting. New relationship, new surroundings."
"Ahh." She glanced at the television. "Doing research?"
"I hope not."
"You guys take care of each other," she instructed, stepping away from them. "I'll be watching you."
House and Wilson grinned at each other. "I suppose that can be arranged," House answered. "And stop hiding my keys. Hide my shoelaces or something."
"Not sure that would be less annoying," Wilson countered.
"She can figure something out."
And when they looked to her for her response, she was gone.