First attempt at writing fanfiction
Title: Just a text
Pairing: Brittany/Santana, Santana/Puck friendship
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Takes place right after the locker scene in 2x15
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, I just borrowed them.
Note: This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction. Please give me some feedback and tips, tell me if there’s any hope for me to get better at writing or that I should look for another hobby ;). Also, keep in mind that English isn’t my first language, so I’m sorry for possible grammatical errors.
“Get off of me!” With those words she turned around, and walked away.
“San…,” she heard Brittany say.
She clenched her jaw trying to hold her tears from falling. It was the first time since years Santana Lopez was crying. The first time since years she felt hurt again. The first time she lets herself feel hurt. Santana Lopez doesn’t let herself feel hurt. She doesn’t do feelings. Every feeling she’d ever had, she’d carefully tucked away in a deep corner, to never look at them again. But this time it didn’t work. No matter how hard she tried, Brittany would always find a way into her mind.
At first, Santana could handle it. She could push her feelings and thoughts of Brittany away. Until the point where Brittany was always there in her mind, leaving no space for other things. During class, Santana had only eyes for the blonde, during glee club she had to do her best to control her breathing watching Brittany dance and even when she was in bed she couldn’t stop fantasizing about how it would be being with Brittany. Don’t get it wrong, she had sex with Brittany numerous times, but she fantasized about how it would be having sex and knowing that Brittany felt the same. That she wasn’t the only one with butterflies in her stomach and actually doing it with feelings.
Stop, Santana. Stop thinking, just make sure you get the fuck outta here and no one sees you’re crying. She walked fast through the hallway, pushing some lingering students out of her way. Brushing a tear off her cheek, she ran across the parking lot to her car.
When she entered her car, she just couldn’t hold her tears anymore and burst down crying. She wasn’t just sad, but also angry. Angry at herself for letting her feelings take over. Angry at Brittany for not choosing her. Angry at fucking Wheelchair Boy for being the perfect, loving and caring boyfriend. In an attempt trying to release some of the anger burning deep inside of her, she slammed her fists hard onto the steering wheel, clenching her jaw against the pain.
“Fuck!” she cried out while dropping her head onto the steering wheel. Tears where falling from her cheeks into her lap. She closed her eyes, trying to control her sobbing and calm herself down. She sat there, head still on the steering wheel, for minutes, maybe even hours, until she jumped from a knock on the car’s window. The latina looked up, into Puck’s questioning eyes. She quickly brushed a hand across her cheek, wiping her tears away. Too late, Puck had already seen something was not quite alright.
“What’s wrong?”
“Leave me alone,” she snapped at him.
“Lopez…”
“Leave me the fuck alone, Puckerman!”
Puck ignored her commands and opened the door, sliding into the seat next to Santana’s. Santana didn’t look at him.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” Puck tried again.
Santana kept ignoring him. She clenched her jaw for like the hundredth time that day and just stared out of the window. After a few moments of silence, Puck spoke again:
“It’s Brittany, eh?”
Santana winced at hearing her best friend’s name. Tears were welling up in her dark eyes again.
“What happened?”
No answer.
“Santana… Come on, talk to me, I wanna help you.”
“You can’t.”
“Maybe I could if you just told me what happened. I can listen, you know.”
“Yeah, you listen to me only so you can get into my pants, you sick fuck.”
“What the fuck? I’m just trying to be your friend here, Lopez. I’m just trying to help you, but if you’re going that way you can go screw youself,” he spat back.
Santana saw a hurt look in his eyes and she immediately was sorry for what she said to him. Puck is a good guy. He acts all badass and all, but at the core he’s a very caring person.
She watched as he opened the car’s door again and wanted to get out.
“I told her,” she said.
Puck stopped his motion and looked at her.
“You told her what?”
Santana didn’t answer.
“You told her you loved her, right?”
Santana closed her eyes.
“You can tell me, Santana. I already knew. I knew all along. I see it every time you look at her. Everytime she enters the room you fucking start to beam.”
Santana shrugged.
“What did she say?”
A tear rolled down Santana’s cheek. Puck brushed it away carefully. Putting a comforting hand on the latina’s arm. Santana looked up at him, eyes full of tears. She took a deep breath.
“I don’t know…”
“She loves you back. Brittany loves you, Santana. She has the same look in her eyes you have when you’re looking at her.”
“No… Yes.. I don’t know, Puck. I really don’t know. She said she loved me, but then she started talking about Artie, that she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings. And… Fuck, I really don’t know.”
“Damn, Santana. Don’t you get it? It’s Brittany, for fuck’s sake. The girl would get lost finding her friggin’ left hand.”
Santana cast him an evil glance.
“Don’t give me that look. You know how she is. Just try to see it through her eyes. She has to hear all your stories about fucking the whole football team and then suddenly you walk up to her and tell her you love her?”
Santana started to feel angry again. She clenched her fists, fighting the urge to smack Puck in the face.
“Shut up, Puckerman.”
“What? You wanna tell me it’s not true?
“Shut the fuck up! You don’t know shit!”
“No, Santana, YOU should shut up, and LISTEN for one time in your life,” Puck’s voice was sharp. “The girl fucking adores you. She worships the ground you step on. You kiss, hug and fuck her when you two are alone, but when people are getting suspicious you just shove her away and fuck someone from the football team. And then, when she’s happy with Artie, you choose to walk up to her and tell her you love her. That she isn’t just a toy, but that you actually love her. I can understand why she has no fucking idea what you’re talking about!”
Santana sobbed.
“I just freaked out okay! I didn’t know what to do. What the fuck would you do when you start getting feelings for your best friend? It’s hard, Puck! You know what happened to Kurt here. You know what Karofsky did to him. I just panicked. I didn’t know how to handle my feelings.”
“I can understand that,” Puck answered, his voice softer now. “But you can’t expect Brittany to just drop everything now you have come to terms with your feelings.”
“I… I know. I just don’t know what to do…”
“You should stop treating her like shit,” Puck said, no harm intended. “And don’t give up. The Santana Lopez I know never gives up.” He gave her arm a reassuring squeeze.
Santana shrugged.
They just sat there. Santana drowning in her own thoughts and Puck looking at her.
A loud beep waked Santana out of her thoughts. Her phone, lying on the dashboard, buzzed and the screen lighted up. Santana ignored it.
“Aren’t you gonna look at that?”
“Nah. Just a text.”
Puck raised one eyebrow and looked at her.
“What?” Santana asked, irritated.
He kept looking at her. Santana let out a sigh and reached for her phone. Her breath stopped when she saw who the text was from.
“Brittany…”
Can I see you tonight? I have some things to tell you. I don’t wanna fight with u. x B
Puck smirked.
“To quote a man named Burt Hummel: there she is. Go get her.”
And with those words and a pat on Santana’s leg, he left the car. Leaving a puzzled Santana behind.