My Fanfiction - Lost - Lost Dream
Title: Lost Dream
Author: teamane
Fandom: Lost
Pairing: Jack/Boone
Rating: FRT-16
Warnings: slash, romance, angst.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Lost, Boone Carlyle or Jack Sheppard. I wish I did. I would keep them alive, in love and well. Never happened except in my Fantasy World.
Summary: Boone is dead. Jack can’t forget him and wishes he could have tell the young man how much he loved him.
Author's Notes: I only saw a few episodes after season 2. I suppose this could be in the early season 4, after Jack fight with Locke (I read it on a site). A ficlet that will have a sequel sometime in the future. I hope!
English is not my first language.
Beta by the wonderful piximyr. Any mistakes are my own.
Jack was running through the foliage trying to reach the caves as soon as possible. He was furious, sad, and deeply hurt.
He thought he could fall in love again, but as much as he tried his traitorous heart kept locked for the living.
He wanted to feel love again. The island was killing everything he treasured, was killing his will to live and fight.
Knowing that the world thought they were dead was very disturbing. There was nothing and no one waiting for him outside that island. There was no one for him in the island either. Sure, Kate and Juliet were two lovely women who had held some interest in the doctor, but now Kate was with Sawyer and he didn’t fully trust Juliet. She had tried to con him with seduction tactics. She was beautiful and very interesting but he was still trapped in a lost love.
Suddenly Jack’s foot slipped and he fell, knocking his head on the twisted tree roots. For a moment, he lay there, feeling the first drops of rain caress his face, waiting for his vision to return. He heard a giggle to his right so, obviously, someone had found him. He hoped it wasn’t Juliet, because in truth, he couldn’t deal with her true/false love and loyalty right now.
A face with big blue greenish eyes and a smirk on kissable lips appeared in his field of vision.
“Boone?”
The young man laughed with delight, rain dripping on his blushed cheeks.
“Hi Jack.”
The doctor was in shock. He rose on his elbows, his mind thinking about head injuries and…
“Am I dead?!”
Boone pinched him in the arm, making him yelp in surprise more than in pain.
“Did it hurt?”
“Yes! It did.” His face still held bewilderment.
“Dead people don’t feel pain,” Boone informed him with that big smile that lighted the entire place. “I know that for sure.”
“But…but…” Jack was having a hard time trying to understand what was happening. “You died! My God, Boone! You died in my arms!”
That made the other look sad and the doctor felt like kicking himself for that.
“I’m sorry, Jack.” Boone inclined a little more over the prostrated man, making a few droplets fall from his wet hair, his eyes grey with sorrow. “I know it was hard for you to let go, but sometimes you just have to do it. There are times to hold on and times to just let go.”
That was his Boone! He knew about his own death. Was that a dream? Struggling to sit up, his eyes never left the younger man who knelt by his side. He touched Boone’s face in wonderment. “Am I dreaming?” The warm hand that covered his and the living pulsating skin that he touched, told him otherwise.
“Maybe,” Boone answered with a soft smile, the corner of his lips turning up in amusement.
Jack framed Boone’s face with both hands, his brown eyes gazing at the other’s face, remembering all the details he could. “I don’t care if this is a dream, a hallucination or if I’m dead,” he whispered with emotion, “I have this secret I wanted to tell you before - I loved you. It’s a crazy thing but…I couldn’t help it. I kept telling myself it was this island making me insane, playing tricks on my feelings… and then you died! And nothing else mattered. The insanity kept on, but I couldn’t forget you.” Then a thought struck him. “Are you here so I can say goodbye? Is this the way my mind’s dealing with my repressed feelings?”
The beautiful young man caressed Jack’s face with tenderness. “I don’t know what’s on your mind, Jack, but I can see your heart is suffering.” There was a sad look veiling his forest eyes. “I’m here because you need me here. If you need me here to say goodbye, then say goodbye. The Island likes you. I was sent to stop your suffering, and by looking into your heart, the island saw who you needed and that someone is me. So, here I am.”
Getting up, Jack tried to move away from the beautiful vision. “That can’t be right. How can this island make me dream of you?”
“Haven’t you seen stranger things already?”
Jack looked down at him. The rain had stopped making everything shine and glitter with the sun hitting the water droplets on the vegetation and …Boone. He looked like a rainbow after the rain. Yes, Jack had seen stranger things than the one he loved return from the dead in a dream. A dream that was lost to him.
Jack’s eyes became bright with moisture that had nothing to do with the rain. He dropped to his knees in front of the other man, tears running down his face.
“How can you still bewitch me like that, even after not being here with us anymore?” He felt his heart break a little more.
“But I am here, Jack. I’m here with you. I’m here…”
“Boone…” He couldn’t fight anymore. He hugged the younger man tight, enjoying the real feeling of warmth, of Boone’s arms hugging him back with as much longing as he. “I love you, Boone. God help me, I still love you. You feel so real!”
“I am real, Jack.” The whisper was soft and filled with caring.
So what if it was a dream or an illusion? He did look real, he felt real, he smelt real, and he sounded real. Jack decided to ignore what could or could not be and just enjoy the feelings.
He kissed Boone like he was a drowning man desperate for air. He tasted Boone’s lips, tongue, mouth, soul, drinking the sounds that was spilling from both of them.
“I’m going to make love to you,” he whispered in Boone’s ear, licking it, kissing his neck, his jaw. He was desperate to hold on to that dream. “Don’t let me wake up, Boone, please, let me be in this dream with you forever. Let me love you.”
“Jack...” The moan held pleasure and pain. “There’s no forever to anything. There are only here and now. That’s all we’ve got. Me, you, love, passion, lust…” Jack stopped his words with another deep kiss, his hands roaming over Boone’s body, divesting him of his drying clothes.
The forest was soon blanketing the two bodies, sounds rising with the mist of unmistakable passion. The island smiled and crooned, sending a flock of birds up in the sky, chanting to the warming sun.
**
Jack couldn’t tear his eyes from the body resting on him. The one he was softly caressing everywhere he could touch.
Boone’s spent and sweaty body lay almost on top of the doctor, his dark sandy head resting on Jack’s chest, his hair tickling Jack’s nose. A lazy smile was carved on the older man’s lips. He didn’t care if this was real or not, for all he could care Kate and Juliet and all others could come trampling on them like a hoard of lost people. Boone was there with him.
Finally, he had consummated the love he felt for that gorgeous kid - in words and physically. That thought made him grin with smut. It had been even better he could have imagined.
Boone stirred and moved his head to peer at Jack’s face. “What are you glowing about? You smutty old man.” He joked with a happy smile. Lifting his upper body a little, he kissed Jack tenderly. The other pulled him up, making their bodies touch everywhere, the kiss prolonged in a lazily way, savouring the moment.
“You need to rest,” Boone whispered when their lips came slowly apart. “It’s getting late.”
Jack wanted to protest but his eyelids felt heavy. Boone petted his forehead and nose. “I don’t want to say goodbye,” Jack whispered fighting to stay awake.
“Me neither, Jack.” Boone’s voice was getting softer and distant although Jack still felt his body, as they hugged each other. ”I love you, too.”
Sleep pulled him into darkness peppered with greens.
**
There were hushed voices intruding Jack’s blessed rest. There was something different! His eyes suddenly opened when he realized what it was.
Juliet and Hurley knelt next to him with relieved smiles on their faces. He looked around. It was getting dark, casting shadows everywhere. The ground was almost dry, the smell of wet warm soil permeating the air. He was dressed with no signs of having ever taking his clothes or shoes off and there was no one else there with him. He got up in a jump, startling his two friends.
“Jack?” Juliet sweet voice showed surprised. “You’re okay? Are you hurt?”
“Dude, we just found you sleeping on the floor!”
Jack was looking around, feeling despair wrapping around his heart. “Where’s he? Where’s Boone?”
Hurley jaw dropped in a theatrical way. He tried to touch Jack’s forehead only to have his hand slapped away.
“Did you hit your head dude? Boone is dead for over two months!”
It had been a dream then? Jack felt like breaking down. He bit his trembling lower lip to stop his emotions from overflowing. He remembered everything as vivid as had they happened for real. He still felt Boone’s kisses; he could still smell his scent on his body.
“Jack? What is it?” The sound of her voice made him feel worse. If before was difficult to reciprocate Juliet’s love, now it was impossible.
“I don’t want to say goodbye,” he whispered letting his tears fall. Hurley hugged him for the sake of it. He couldn’t stand passively and watch when there were people needing comfort. Juliet couldn’t understand why Jack was behaving so strangely, but she knew he was getting far away from her.
They returned to the beach, calming the others who had been worried about their doctor and leader.
Late in the night, Jack sat in one of the rocks facing the never-ending sea. He had tried to dream of Boone again but with no avail. He gave up sleeping and dreaming, then, and sought refuge in the landscape. He remembered when he had to save Boone from drowning. He was a lifeguard, Boone said. The memory made Jack snort in amusement now.
The sun would rise soon; the night sky was starting to melt into smooth, warm pastel colours. Another sunrise he would not see with Boone by his side. Another day of sorrow for a lost dream.
A ragged sigh was torn from the lonely man. He had wished to be with Boone, he had dreamed of it, and now he almost wished he hadn’t. To know what he lost was too painful.
A sudden wind whirled around him, drying his tearful eyes. He closed them for a moment. There was a light tickling on his left hand. Opening his eyes, Jack looked at his hand expecting to see an ant or other creepy insect. His face crumbled when he saw what it was. He picked the medallion with a black cord and he felt like crying again. He would recognize that square plate with a crux cut out in the middle anywhere. He had played with it amidst kisses on Boone’s chest a few hours before. He kissed it and held it to his heart, eyes misted with tears and a soft smile of hope on his lips.
Dreams are meant to bring hope.
Dreams are never meant to be lost.
End
My Fanart and Fiction Index
Author: teamane
Fandom: Lost
Pairing: Jack/Boone
Rating: FRT-16
Warnings: slash, romance, angst.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Lost, Boone Carlyle or Jack Sheppard. I wish I did. I would keep them alive, in love and well. Never happened except in my Fantasy World.
Summary: Boone is dead. Jack can’t forget him and wishes he could have tell the young man how much he loved him.
Author's Notes: I only saw a few episodes after season 2. I suppose this could be in the early season 4, after Jack fight with Locke (I read it on a site). A ficlet that will have a sequel sometime in the future. I hope!
English is not my first language.
Beta by the wonderful piximyr. Any mistakes are my own.
Jack was running through the foliage trying to reach the caves as soon as possible. He was furious, sad, and deeply hurt.
He thought he could fall in love again, but as much as he tried his traitorous heart kept locked for the living.
He wanted to feel love again. The island was killing everything he treasured, was killing his will to live and fight.
Knowing that the world thought they were dead was very disturbing. There was nothing and no one waiting for him outside that island. There was no one for him in the island either. Sure, Kate and Juliet were two lovely women who had held some interest in the doctor, but now Kate was with Sawyer and he didn’t fully trust Juliet. She had tried to con him with seduction tactics. She was beautiful and very interesting but he was still trapped in a lost love.
Suddenly Jack’s foot slipped and he fell, knocking his head on the twisted tree roots. For a moment, he lay there, feeling the first drops of rain caress his face, waiting for his vision to return. He heard a giggle to his right so, obviously, someone had found him. He hoped it wasn’t Juliet, because in truth, he couldn’t deal with her true/false love and loyalty right now.
A face with big blue greenish eyes and a smirk on kissable lips appeared in his field of vision.
“Boone?”
The young man laughed with delight, rain dripping on his blushed cheeks.
“Hi Jack.”
The doctor was in shock. He rose on his elbows, his mind thinking about head injuries and…
“Am I dead?!”
Boone pinched him in the arm, making him yelp in surprise more than in pain.
“Did it hurt?”
“Yes! It did.” His face still held bewilderment.
“Dead people don’t feel pain,” Boone informed him with that big smile that lighted the entire place. “I know that for sure.”
“But…but…” Jack was having a hard time trying to understand what was happening. “You died! My God, Boone! You died in my arms!”
That made the other look sad and the doctor felt like kicking himself for that.
“I’m sorry, Jack.” Boone inclined a little more over the prostrated man, making a few droplets fall from his wet hair, his eyes grey with sorrow. “I know it was hard for you to let go, but sometimes you just have to do it. There are times to hold on and times to just let go.”
That was his Boone! He knew about his own death. Was that a dream? Struggling to sit up, his eyes never left the younger man who knelt by his side. He touched Boone’s face in wonderment. “Am I dreaming?” The warm hand that covered his and the living pulsating skin that he touched, told him otherwise.
“Maybe,” Boone answered with a soft smile, the corner of his lips turning up in amusement.
Jack framed Boone’s face with both hands, his brown eyes gazing at the other’s face, remembering all the details he could. “I don’t care if this is a dream, a hallucination or if I’m dead,” he whispered with emotion, “I have this secret I wanted to tell you before - I loved you. It’s a crazy thing but…I couldn’t help it. I kept telling myself it was this island making me insane, playing tricks on my feelings… and then you died! And nothing else mattered. The insanity kept on, but I couldn’t forget you.” Then a thought struck him. “Are you here so I can say goodbye? Is this the way my mind’s dealing with my repressed feelings?”
The beautiful young man caressed Jack’s face with tenderness. “I don’t know what’s on your mind, Jack, but I can see your heart is suffering.” There was a sad look veiling his forest eyes. “I’m here because you need me here. If you need me here to say goodbye, then say goodbye. The Island likes you. I was sent to stop your suffering, and by looking into your heart, the island saw who you needed and that someone is me. So, here I am.”
Getting up, Jack tried to move away from the beautiful vision. “That can’t be right. How can this island make me dream of you?”
“Haven’t you seen stranger things already?”
Jack looked down at him. The rain had stopped making everything shine and glitter with the sun hitting the water droplets on the vegetation and …Boone. He looked like a rainbow after the rain. Yes, Jack had seen stranger things than the one he loved return from the dead in a dream. A dream that was lost to him.
Jack’s eyes became bright with moisture that had nothing to do with the rain. He dropped to his knees in front of the other man, tears running down his face.
“How can you still bewitch me like that, even after not being here with us anymore?” He felt his heart break a little more.
“But I am here, Jack. I’m here with you. I’m here…”
“Boone…” He couldn’t fight anymore. He hugged the younger man tight, enjoying the real feeling of warmth, of Boone’s arms hugging him back with as much longing as he. “I love you, Boone. God help me, I still love you. You feel so real!”
“I am real, Jack.” The whisper was soft and filled with caring.
So what if it was a dream or an illusion? He did look real, he felt real, he smelt real, and he sounded real. Jack decided to ignore what could or could not be and just enjoy the feelings.
He kissed Boone like he was a drowning man desperate for air. He tasted Boone’s lips, tongue, mouth, soul, drinking the sounds that was spilling from both of them.
“I’m going to make love to you,” he whispered in Boone’s ear, licking it, kissing his neck, his jaw. He was desperate to hold on to that dream. “Don’t let me wake up, Boone, please, let me be in this dream with you forever. Let me love you.”
“Jack...” The moan held pleasure and pain. “There’s no forever to anything. There are only here and now. That’s all we’ve got. Me, you, love, passion, lust…” Jack stopped his words with another deep kiss, his hands roaming over Boone’s body, divesting him of his drying clothes.
The forest was soon blanketing the two bodies, sounds rising with the mist of unmistakable passion. The island smiled and crooned, sending a flock of birds up in the sky, chanting to the warming sun.
**
Jack couldn’t tear his eyes from the body resting on him. The one he was softly caressing everywhere he could touch.
Boone’s spent and sweaty body lay almost on top of the doctor, his dark sandy head resting on Jack’s chest, his hair tickling Jack’s nose. A lazy smile was carved on the older man’s lips. He didn’t care if this was real or not, for all he could care Kate and Juliet and all others could come trampling on them like a hoard of lost people. Boone was there with him.
Finally, he had consummated the love he felt for that gorgeous kid - in words and physically. That thought made him grin with smut. It had been even better he could have imagined.
Boone stirred and moved his head to peer at Jack’s face. “What are you glowing about? You smutty old man.” He joked with a happy smile. Lifting his upper body a little, he kissed Jack tenderly. The other pulled him up, making their bodies touch everywhere, the kiss prolonged in a lazily way, savouring the moment.
“You need to rest,” Boone whispered when their lips came slowly apart. “It’s getting late.”
Jack wanted to protest but his eyelids felt heavy. Boone petted his forehead and nose. “I don’t want to say goodbye,” Jack whispered fighting to stay awake.
“Me neither, Jack.” Boone’s voice was getting softer and distant although Jack still felt his body, as they hugged each other. ”I love you, too.”
Sleep pulled him into darkness peppered with greens.
**
There were hushed voices intruding Jack’s blessed rest. There was something different! His eyes suddenly opened when he realized what it was.
Juliet and Hurley knelt next to him with relieved smiles on their faces. He looked around. It was getting dark, casting shadows everywhere. The ground was almost dry, the smell of wet warm soil permeating the air. He was dressed with no signs of having ever taking his clothes or shoes off and there was no one else there with him. He got up in a jump, startling his two friends.
“Jack?” Juliet sweet voice showed surprised. “You’re okay? Are you hurt?”
“Dude, we just found you sleeping on the floor!”
Jack was looking around, feeling despair wrapping around his heart. “Where’s he? Where’s Boone?”
Hurley jaw dropped in a theatrical way. He tried to touch Jack’s forehead only to have his hand slapped away.
“Did you hit your head dude? Boone is dead for over two months!”
It had been a dream then? Jack felt like breaking down. He bit his trembling lower lip to stop his emotions from overflowing. He remembered everything as vivid as had they happened for real. He still felt Boone’s kisses; he could still smell his scent on his body.
“Jack? What is it?” The sound of her voice made him feel worse. If before was difficult to reciprocate Juliet’s love, now it was impossible.
“I don’t want to say goodbye,” he whispered letting his tears fall. Hurley hugged him for the sake of it. He couldn’t stand passively and watch when there were people needing comfort. Juliet couldn’t understand why Jack was behaving so strangely, but she knew he was getting far away from her.
They returned to the beach, calming the others who had been worried about their doctor and leader.
Late in the night, Jack sat in one of the rocks facing the never-ending sea. He had tried to dream of Boone again but with no avail. He gave up sleeping and dreaming, then, and sought refuge in the landscape. He remembered when he had to save Boone from drowning. He was a lifeguard, Boone said. The memory made Jack snort in amusement now.
The sun would rise soon; the night sky was starting to melt into smooth, warm pastel colours. Another sunrise he would not see with Boone by his side. Another day of sorrow for a lost dream.
A ragged sigh was torn from the lonely man. He had wished to be with Boone, he had dreamed of it, and now he almost wished he hadn’t. To know what he lost was too painful.
A sudden wind whirled around him, drying his tearful eyes. He closed them for a moment. There was a light tickling on his left hand. Opening his eyes, Jack looked at his hand expecting to see an ant or other creepy insect. His face crumbled when he saw what it was. He picked the medallion with a black cord and he felt like crying again. He would recognize that square plate with a crux cut out in the middle anywhere. He had played with it amidst kisses on Boone’s chest a few hours before. He kissed it and held it to his heart, eyes misted with tears and a soft smile of hope on his lips.
Dreams are meant to bring hope.
Dreams are never meant to be lost.
End
My Fanart and Fiction Index