Happy Birthday Ric! (OTA but especially Ric)

[angelica_jinx]

Ordinarily, baking was Angel's stress reliever but this time the pressure was on. It was Ric's birthday and she had no idea what she was going to make him. She wanted something funny, manly, and maybe a little dirty but nothing was coming to mind. Angel wasn't very good at being funny on purpose and sadly, Ric would have been the go to guy for

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[movetheearth]

Any other time and Ric would goad Angel for more details but there's just no passion from him, no sense of curiosity. Just a silent void where the outgoing Ric once existed within his head.

Ric wasn't expecting the comforting touch, he'd been so prepared to suffer another blow just like the one from Rogue. Heck he's not even given his cheek or eye the medical care it needs, just pressed a cold wet flannel to his face and that was that. His cheek is slightly swollen and red and a bruise already flourishing beneath and around his eye. Despite the pain Ric still presses the heel of his hands against his eyes, trying to stop the tears but nothing works. He just sobs harder, leaning heavily against Angel.

It takes him a few moments to catch his breath, hiccuping sniffles that make his chest and head pound. He starts out explaining the details about how Rogue absorbed his powers by accident, about losing his powers after Spokane thanks to the sickness and how that all lead onto him walking in on Rogue kissing Martini. Of course that then goes on to the fight, the nasty things from his past being brought back up and stupid accusations before concluding with him slapping Rogue and Martini getting really angry with him.

He talks about how he'd spoken to Lorna, gotten advice and tried to talk to Rogue but things just ended up backfiring, before things ended really up shit creek without a paddle. Talking about Adrian, Ric tries to make it clear that the kiss meant nothing, it was just to help Adrian get over his nervousness but he knows it had been a stupid thing to do. So of course Rogue had walked in and things had just gotten awful from there on out. The punch of course is explained and finally Ric just can't talk anymore, words getting choked up in his throat when he tries to say that he needs to tell Martini before Rogue does.

"He's going to leave me. He's going to leave me and I deserve it. He'll hate me Angel, just like Rogue does and Phe does and... I hate me. I'm not... I can't stay here if it's over. What's the point?"

[angelica_jinx]

Wow. How had she missed all of this? She was usually up on base gossip. Ric's situation was a pretty bad one but even after she heard it all, she still didn't think it was hopeless.

"He's going to be hurt. Probably angry but when you tell him you were proving it to yourself that a kiss could just be a kiss maybe it will help him understand why you did it. Like I said, it's the unknown that we fear more than anything. You don't want him to think you did it because you love him less, do you?"

[movetheearth]

The only reason it's been kept on the down-low is because telling other people would mean Ric would have to admit that he was the one at fault and before now? Before this crack in his stability? Well he wasn't prepared to face that.

"But what if he already knows? What if he's already seen what I did and that's why he's ignoring me? It's just... I love him so much Angel. I'd do anything for him. I mean it. I'd die for him but I don't know that he'd hang around to hear my side because he's been hurt before." Wiping at his cheeks Ric draws in a shaky breath and bites at his lower lip. He's silent though, trying to get himself calmed down, rubbing at red and wet eyes and wincing when he brushes over the bruise.

"Lo siento, here I am sobbing all over your shoulder and I just... it's fine. I'm fine." He's sure if he says it enough times it'll stick.

[angelica_jinx]

With Martini that was a possibility but that did beg the question. "If he did though, why wouldn't he just talk to you about it? Wouldn't you have wanted him to? Isn't that a good enough reason to talk to him now? You have to be with him the way you would want him to be with you."

She started to rub his back. "It's okay. I know you're fine. You're going to be just fine. Do you know why? Because every couple goes through stuff." She knew a little about that. "But if you're if you're meant to be, you'll get through it."

It's right about then she remembers her cake and how completely inappropriate it was. "I..well, I, uh, I did make something for you but I don't think you are going to want it now."

[movetheearth]

"Logic and reason don't always apply to Martini..." Ric sniffles and nods though, tugging on his shirt sleeve so he can wipe the dampness from his face and try to make himself look a little more presentable. Which is no easy feat.

He tries not to let the words get to him though but those doubting voices latch onto the if you're meant to be part and start the process of pressing down on the self doubt. Ric shakes his head, trying to clear the noise from his mind without drawing attention to the fact.

"Y-you made me something?" Ric looks genuinely surprised at that and he falters with his words. "You didn't have to Angel. What is it that you've made?"

[angelica_jinx]

"Hey, don't worry but... maybe there is something you can do. Next time you have the urge to do something, imagine Martini doing it. Good or bad. Then notice how you feel about it. If it makes you feel good, chances are it will make him feel good. And the other way around. If it makes you angry or frustrated, say like watching him kiss someone else, then it will likely make him angry or frustrated. I know it sounds too simple but there is no rule that says it has to always be hard."

And if all that insight were turned toward her, she would have to admit if Ethan were still in love with his ex she'd panic and probably cry. Of course, there were some things a person couldn't help.

"It's really not that big of a deal. I mean it's kind of inappropriate now. I mean it's just a cake but the shape..."

[movetheearth]

Ric nods but he knows that it's all well and good agreeing to such ideas, but carrying them out? Well that is an entirely different matter and something he knows he'll end up failing on. Because he always does, it's just who he is.

"Unless you've made a cake in the shape of Martini's or Adrian or even Rogue's face I'm sure it'll be fine. Anyway it's not just the way it looks that matters, it is the way that it tastes and your baking Angel? It's amazing." Ric nudges his shoulder against Angel's, he's putting on a front of being, or at least trying to be, alright. Though really he's still reeling from the events of yesterday and he's really not dealing with his issues.

But he's smiling and hopefully that will be enough for Angel.

[angelica_jinx]

It really wasn't enough, she'd reather see him have a genuine moment of joy but that's just not going to happen. The best she could hope for was him knowing that she cared.

So she smiled back though her smile was real and sympathetic. "Actually, I made a cake in the shape of lips. I figured it was flirty and a little funny. Little did I know kissing is the root of all your trouble. It is chocolate though. Dark Mexican chocolate with just enough cayenne pepper and balsamic vinegar to really highlight the richness without making it too sweet. The real sweetness comes in with the cinnamon mascrapone icing. It's only a thin layer though. I didn't want to make it all about the sugar. I wanted it to be all about flavor combinations and texture. It's really moist though not super fluffy or dense.

[movetheearth]

"Right now I don't care what shape the cake is in, it sounds too good to turn down." Ric stands, slinging an arm around Angel's shoulders and keeping up that front. It really was a case of 'fake it till you make it' though in some ways it was less about making it and the risk of breaking it.

But for now Ric will just keep on smiling, not playing the broken-hearted boy that he is and letting the promise of cake and birthday celebrations buoy his mood.

"Y'know if things don't work out with you and the Captain I'll marry you." Ric smirks, though he keeps his gaze settled front facing rather than meeting Angel's gaze.

[angelica_jinx]

The redhead leaned against her friend and smiled back. She was good at this grin and bear it game. She sort of perfected it to an art. How else can you have such a depressing background and people still hate you for being too perky?

"It is pretty good. I made a little tester cake this morning when I was trying to get my recipe right. It took kitchen staff whacking me with spoons for me not to dig into this one."

Angel rolled her eyes and chuckled at Ric's offer. "No, you won't because you won't be single. Besides, I've got enough people throwing darts at my picture for snagging Ethan. If I was with you too, there would be much revolting. I'm talking pitchforks and I bruise easy."