We're not outta this yet (ota)

[marauding_miss]

For the most part, Rogue was not a social creature. By pure survival instinct, she closed herself off to a lot of things, and making friends was one of them. She had a few friends, just a few. A handful maybe. Of course, Spokane and then the illness, that shot all of that in the foot with a gallon of buck shot and a few sticks of TNT

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[marauding_miss]

That wasn't a sorry, and she understands that, so she doesn't mention it. Just taking the pack from him, settling the tin on the step between them and starting on rolling him up a few cigarettes. "Mah daddy smoked roll ups. He'd get too drunk t' get it right sometimes, always shout me f'r help. Ah was twelve when Ah perfected it." She padded up the right amount of tobacco so that it was a decent smoke but still rolled correctly, slotting in the filter tip and rolling it in her fingers before licking the paper and sticking it.

Putting it on the tin, she started another, using the process to clear her mind a little. "Ah could'a worded that better Ah s'pose." But when Carol's being a bitch, and Julio's being a queen, well there was only so much she could handle. "It's jus' that," it's just that she knows it all now, and she's worried, she's scared. She sees what he's not dealing with and she knows he should be dealing with it.

"Ah worry is all." Even now, she's so tempted to go to all those places she knows of and clear out his stashes of booze, so tempted to find every drop of alcohol and ditch it. "What Ah said, Ah," she meant every word of it, and she knew she did, but at the same time, "Ah can't take 'em back."

[movetheearth]

"My Padre, he smoked a pipe. I can still smell it now, remember sitting in his lap when I was little and watching him as he signed paperwork and dealt with phone calls in his office. The smell of tobacco and pipes reminds me of him, cigars too, but those were for special occasions only." Ric sets down another newly rolled cigarette next to Rogue's and picks up another filter paper, resuming the task.

"Lorna was right, you were dealing with having me in your head and being sick... and I wasn't helping things by yelling." Ric spits a bit of errant tobacco out and takes a draw from his cigarette. Hearing it like this, that Rogue is worried about him makes Ric feel guilty. Scuffing his boot along the step, he watches the hazy swirl of smoke a it rises up from his cigarette and dissipate. "I know. I can't take back what I said either but Rogue I'm fine. Look, all that stuff you were dealing with from me, well you've not had the years to get over it. Accept that it's a part of you and get on with it. It's alright, I understand that now."

Rogue is right though, even if Ric can't see it or acknowledge the fact, he's got a hell of a lot of problems boiling and bubbling away beneath the surface and one day they'll come to a head and something will snap. Finally Ric turns to look at Rogue and offers her a small but genuine smile. "It was a spur of the moment thing right? But it's okay. We're okay right?"

[marauding_miss]

She remembers that, faintly, because she doesn't have a lot of memories of his father except for the last one. The one she really didn't want, the one that makes her want to call her own Daddy just to hear his voice.

"Lorna, huh." It doesn't bother her that he's talking about things to someone else, not really. It's good that he is, because it's helpful. But Rogue doesn't know who Lorna is, so it irks just a little. Even as she hears him talk, there's that voice in her head yammering away at the same time, Rictor's words almost drowned out by Julio's and Rogue tries to focus on rolling the cigarette but fails to block out the voices.

Stuff? Can't even say it, it's just stuff. High dependency, low rate idiot. Stuff. It's just stuff. Teenagers deal with stuff, stock brokers deal with stuff. This is serious, this'll kill him. Julio's voice just keeps going and Rogue stops rolling to stare at her knees. She has to swallow down the anger, stop herself from lashing out, from listening to that voice. "Well Ah'm so glad you understand that now. Ah'm glad that you understand that Ah just need t' get over it."

She can't help the sharp tone. Placing the rolled up cigarette to the tin, Rogue brushes off her legs and stands up. "But it's a little bit harder for someone that can actually see just what your doing to yourself, and that ain't something Ah can just get over an' brush aside, you Goddamned idiot."

She gets as far as the first set of stairs inside before she puts her fist through the wall and sighs. Great, now she needs to go apologise to Ric and then explain why there's a hole in the wall to the Captain or Miss Frost. Head hanging low, she makes her way back outside, slumping down on the stairs.

"Ah'm sorry, Ah didn't mean that. Ah mean, Ah did, but it ain't-" she's doing a bang up job of explaining things. "The noise, in mah head, it gets t' me. An' y' keep fightin' with Carol and it just makes her irritable an' then y' get all huffy an' Ah get pissed an' say things Ah don't mean." It's a long way to explain just how loud and noisy and bitchy he is. "Ah'm sorry."

[movetheearth]

The tone of voice catches Ric off guard and his jaw works up and down as he searches for the right words. In the back of his mind a voice is screaming at him. Tell her the truth! Tell her just how fucking hard it is to be you! Tell her now, whilst you've got a chance. But Ric stomps down on that voice and buries it amongst all those other things in his head and heart.

He honestly thought that they were getting somewhere with the talking, at least they weren't throwing punches or snide remarks but this? It's a step backwards and Ric feels like he is watching a train wreck. Rogue's yelling at him, calling him an idiot and telling him that she can see what he's doing to himself. And to think Ric had genuinely thought he was doing better this time around.

"Wait! Ro-Rogue!" She's gone before he can stop her and Ric stays sat on the step, grabbing a new cigarette and barely finishing the other before he's lighting up once more and puffing away. The tin gets pushed aside as Ric rests his elbows on his knees and scowls at the world. He can hear the thud of something crashing into the wall and then silence, before the entrance to Lincoln House swings open and Rogue settles back onto the step next to him.

Ric is listening to the apology but he hears the unsaid words just as loudly as those Rogue speaks. You're killing yourself. This is serious. You've got a problem and neither drinking and smoking will make it go away... you can flirt all you like compañero, but it don't stop the hurting. Flicking the ash from his cigarette to the ground Ric, firmly and resolutely puts asides the fact that he wants to talk about his feelings and turns to smile at Rogue, the walls going back up in place that keep him apart from everything he's buried for all these years. "It's alright. I'm sorry too, for slapping you and reacting the way I did over the whole Martini kiss thing. I don't get... I'm just... whatever... it's fine."

[marauding_miss]

She has to brush the concrete off her fist, taking her glove off and beating it down on the step before slotting it back on and clenching her hand inside. Sighing, she's more bothered about centring herself before she speaks because she doesn't want to mess things up more.

"It ain't something we can just forget about, an' Ah'm sorry Ah kissed y'r boyfriend, Ah probably fucked that up too. But Ah jus'...It just felt like he was mahn. An' y'r an awful possessive bastard, darlin', Ah mean, really. The thoughts y'all have. It's a little worrying jus' how possessive y' can be." Not that it bothered her when she was on the other side of it, not really. Because he was handsy and charming and protective too. But now she was fighting back those personality traits.

"Ah ain't good at explainin' mah powers. But for a while, after we touched, it felt like Ah was you, okay? That's why Ah did it, an' Ah'm sorry Ah hurt ya, Ah don't wanna do that, an' Ah don't wanna say things that hurt ya, but it's like word vomit sometimes." Especially when Carol and Julio were playing sabotage.

"Don't worry 'bout the slap, Ah sorta deserved it."

[movetheearth]

Teeth grinding Ric tries to play off the comments with a smile, but he can feel that itch that starts in the back of his mind. Soon it'll progress and work its way beneath his skin, till Ric needs something to drink to numb the pain. That voice of self-doubt starts up as soon as Ric lets the thought grab hold. And won't that just be something Rogue can gloat about? I mean that's what she's digging at huh? You let everyone down don't you? Such a fuck up Julio. Always have been and always will be. Ric doesn't pay much attention to the ash from his cigarette that falls onto his arm, just brushes it off before taking a drag.

"I don't think Martini hates you," Ric exhales the smoke. "If anyone it's me he resents for hitting you, but thank you." He can't help that he's possessive, a constant fear of abandonment means Ric either ends up leaving before he can get hurt (case in point Ophelia) or he clings so tightly to the ones he loves and cherishes that they either get sick of it (Rogue) or seem oblivious to the reasons why (Martini.) "I just get so caught up in him sometimes, everyone really. But with Martini I worry that he'll get wise and leave me, or he'll have a weird turn thanks to his mutation and leave." Or he'll see just how fucked up I really am and want to leave. Everyone I know, goes away in the end.

With a sigh Ric leans back, arms resting on the step above so he can recline. "I'm not saying we should forget it, just I really don't want to talk about it any more Rogue. We both said things that we can't take back and I just don't want to dwell on it right now. Later, can we talk about it later? Please?"

It's a trademark move, if it's too painful to talk about then bury deep deep down and hope that the other person will let it go. Because if they keep hashing it over and over Ric is going to have to give in to his urges and rummage around for his flask. Which will only give Rogue more ammo and whilst things are still so tense, well it's just not a good idea.

[marauding_miss]

Later is fifteen years from now when he's in a hospital bed with liver failure. Later is years from now when he's so messed up he levels another city. Later is years from now when he's chased everyone away and there's a call through about how they've found this body, and could someone come and claim it.

"Yeah, darlin', we can talk about it later." She doesn't want to bench the issue, because God knows it'll be so hard to bring up. But she's still got to make amends with Mark, to make sure Mark understands that no one is really to blame for what happened, that it all just got out of hand and really, he should try and talk to Rictor.

It's going to be hard on her side, she knows that. He'll bury it along with everything else, pretend things are fine and make like they never had their fight. He'll treat her the way he always did -probably just a little wary of touching her until even that fades away. But Rogue isn't that good at repression, least of all when there's a voice niggling away at her. "So we're good?"

[movetheearth]

It's a weight off of his shoulders, for now at least, and that means Ric can tamp down on the voices and the urges because they're not going to be discussed. For now. But at least if they're going to talk about it later Ric can prepare himself and take the edge off before holding a serious conversation.

With a content sigh Ric nods, reaching out he bumps a loosely clenched fist against Rogue's arm and nods. She's right to think that, as things aren't perfect between them, won't be for a while. Yet for now Ric and Rogue can at least start to slow process back to what they had. "Yeah, we're good. And don't worry we'll get back to where we were."

For a moment Ric is tempted to ask Rogue to talk to Mark, but there's no point. If his boyfriend wants to talk to him, then he will... hopefully. Or at least Rogue will talk to him in her own time, Ric ignores the flare of jealousy, and let Mark know that they are talking at least.

"I'm glad we're are talking."

[marauding_miss]

"Me too." And she is. She really is. "Like, when we're not talkin', and something happens, it's like Ah wanna come an' tell ya, then Ah remember we ain't talkin' an' Ah can't. Kinda bums me out."

Even if it took them too long to get back to their usual state of affairs, it was better than nothing. At least she knew that she could sit in the mess hall and not avoid him, that she didn't need to leave the roof if he came up just to avoid awkwardness.

"Ah mean, it ain't like lots of stuff happened or nothing, but just the little things." And Rogue realising that really, Rictor was a massive part of her life. "Ah missed ya. Even when y' don't shut up in mah head."

[movetheearth]

Laughing Ric nods, "I know exactly what you mean. There's not been anything to write home about but my routine got thrown. It's not the same when you've not got someone to talk to."

Rolling his eyes Ric nudged the tobacco tin towards Rogue with a cheeky grin, as he remained reclined against the steps. It's a not so subtle hint but that's what they are normally like. "You love the noise really, you just don't want to admit that. I get it." It's then that he remembers that actually there is some news he can update Rogue on.

"Oh! There's someone new in camp, have you seen her around yet. She's a bit of a celebrity, well kinda less in the lime light now for her singing but you'll get what I mean."

[marauding_miss]

Taking the hint, Rogue carries on rolling cigarettes for Ric, letting her attention wander from the cigarettes to Rictor from time to time. "Nah, ain't really been out an' about. Ah guess it'll only take a few days though. Ain't like anythin' can be kept quiet round here. New faces don't."

Which actually reminded Rogue, "Oh, an', Ah dunno if y've noticed, or met her, but- well, mah Mama's kinda on the team now. Y'know? So, jus' don't- Ah don't know really. Don't go poking things or something."

Rogue didn't exactly know what Rictor could do, but with Mystique all things were possible. "She's got a lil' habit o' playin' mean spirited tricks on folks, so, if somethin' feels off 'bout a person? Run." Really, she couldn't believe she was giving Rictor advice on running away from Raven, but it was probably a good idea.

[movetheearth]

"You Mom?!" Ric's features shifted from excited, to nervous, to confused, to surprised and finally settled with him trying to appear un-bothered about it, but he really wasn't. "Does she know we had a falling out?"

It was one thing to have fallen out with Rogue and there to be distance between him and her mother, but her being on the team and Rogue being concerned enough to warn him away? Well that obviously meant she was a lady not to be messed with. "Wow... I'm so going to get my ass kicked by that lady and I don't even know who she is! What does she look like?"

Ric was plucking bits of dry grass and twigs up and setting light to them as they chatted, unable to keep still and constantly needing to do something with his hands.

[marauding_miss]

"No, no she doesn't know that. Ah mean, she might. Ah didn't tell her though. But she's sorta big on knowin' everythin' 'bout everythin'. So she might." Which could be bad for Rictor, or could be bad for Rogue. Since Mystique might just go down the keeping Rogue away from Ric route. Or not bother at all.

"Look like? Well, she normally looks blue. With scales. Red hair, yellow eyes. She's kinda noticeable when she's like that." Which was how Mystique liked it, it was how she viewed herself, none of this 'walking around like a normal' bullshit from her mother. "But um, Raven? She's a shapeshifter. So she could look like anyone." And at least Rogue felt a little bad for it.

"But Ah told her we were friends, Ah mean, the last time Ah talked to her, kinda asked her t' keep an eye on y'. Y'know for if y' got int' trouble?"

[movetheearth]

Ric crosses himself, pressing a kiss to the cross that hangs on his rosary before resuming watching Rogue and messing around with anything he can get his hands on. "Okay, well she shouldn't be too hard to spot with blue scales and red hair but yeah, I'll be mindful. Can't promise I won't flirt if she tries to blend in though alright?"

Leaning over he steal a cigarette and lights up, giving into the urge. "I bet you're pleased to have her on the team though. I would be if it were me."

At that Ric suddenly remembers that he got sent a parcel from his Mama Vivi and she'd sent over some candy that he'd yet to pass along to Martini. "Come on, I've got some stuff Mama sent me that you're welcome to raid. You won't get much of a chance later on if Martini gets whiff of it." He stands, though he doesn't offer a hand to help Rogue up like he used to do. That's not out of spite, it's that residual fear that stops him from doing it for now.

[marauding_miss]

At least Mystique sticks to her form usually, that'll give Rictor the heads up. "Don't mouth at her, okay? Cause she will beat you." And Rogue really wants Mystique and Ric to at least get along.

"It's great, Ah mean Ah'm a lil' worried 'bout Destiny, she's on her own now, but she's pretty capable o' taking care o' herself." Which was true, after all, she saw the future, any problem and she'd likely give them a call. When Ric stated to stand up, Rogue tidied up the cigarettes, laying them long ways in the tin before closing it over.

She didn't mind the lack of a hand offered, she understood. "Y' know y'r better hidin' 'em some place. He don't go out the garage much right? Y' should pop a few under y'r rock along there." And Rogue would completely ignore the fact that she wasn't supposed to know about that rock. "How is Mama V?"

[movetheearth]

"I'll try. I've no urge to get my ass served to me by your Mama." Ric nodded, Destiny was the blind one, he remembered that much from their conversations but he didn't press for anything more on that front.

Holding the door open, he had manners at least, Ric trudges up the stairs alongside Rogue. He's about to ask her how she knows this stuff, almost tempted to make some comment along the lines of you been in my head or something when he remembers that yeah... actually she has. So he just nods and hums in response. He'll have to make an effort to switch up some of his hiding places and find knew ones now that Rogue knows about them. Not that he'll tell her that either.

"Yeah, she's good. Missing me as ever and keeps demanding to know when I'll be coming home to see her. I think she thinks this is some kind of phase I'm going through." Ric rummages for his room key and swipes it, stepping into his room and surveying the chaos. "I'll uhhh... clean up... just..." He gestures to the seat by the desk as he starts to pick up his clothes and stuff that's been thrown haphazardly.